Struggle and defense against evil, Iblis the cursed one

I'm reading surah Al-Hijr which is chapter 15 from the Qur'an.

The Qur'an is simply amazing.

No matter how many times you read it, there's always something that touches your heart or stimulates your mind.

From ayat 28 to 42, Allah SWT tells us the event that took place at the time when Adam (our great ancestor),was created. Allah SWT tells us about the interaction that happened between Himself and Iblis. Yes, Iblis - the first evil (also referred to as Syaitan)


Allah SWT said,

"So, when I have fashioned him (Adam) completely and breathed into him (Adam) the soul which I created for him, then fall you (the Angels) down prostrating yourselves to him. So the angels prostrated themselves, all of them together. Except for Iblis - he refused to be among them (to prostrate). Allah said, "O Iblis! What is your reason for not being among the prostrators? Iblis said, "I am not the one to prostrate myself to a human being, whom You created from dried clay of altered mud." Allah said, "Then, get out from here (paradise) for verily, you are Rajim (an outcast or cursed one) And verily, the curse shall be upon you until the Day of Recompense (Resurrection). Iblis said, "O my Lord! Give me time (respite) till the Day The dead will be resurrected. Allah said, "Then verily, you are of those reprieved, Till the Day of the time appointed. Iblis said, "O my Lord! Because you misled me, I shall indeed adorn the path of error for them (mankind) on the earth, and I shall mislead them all. Except Your chosen (guided) slaves among them." Allah said "This is a Way which will lead straight to Me. Certainly you shall have no authority over My slaves, except those who follow you of the Ghawun (those who go astray)."


I am far from qualified to give a tafsir (interpretation) regarding this verses but nevertheless there are so many lessons and points to be taken here and most of these points are well known to all Muslims. I just wanted to share the points I received from this beautiful surah MashaAllah.



The first point that Iblis believed in Allah SWT as the Creator, he called him "Rabbi" (My Lord) and even acknowledged that it was Allah SWT who misled him. Iblis did not say that Adam misled him. We must believe from TAWHEED that Allah SWT is the Most Powerful. There is nothing more Powerful than Him, and certainly not Iblis. Iblis does not have power.



Secondly, Iblis became the cursed one (an outcast) because of his pride. He was too arrogant to bow down to Adam despite his years and years of believing and worshiping Allah SWT but he refused to follow a simple instruction due to pride. BE VERY CAREFUL OF OUR PRIDE and if we sense any PRIDE within us then we must try to overcome it.



Thirdly, Iblis (syaitan) looks down on us. Iblis believes he is superior to Adam because he was created from fire but Adam was created from mud. In Surah Al Anam ayat 142 it is stated that "Surely he (Syaitan) to you an open enemy". (also 35:6 and many others) So, as humans we should know that our enemy do not think much of us. Our enemy believes he is better than us, more superior in his nature and if anything, he has vengeance towards us. So, let us not be in awe of Iblis or think that we can negotiate with him!



Fourthly, Iblis asked Allah SWT for two things. He asked for a long life i.e. to live until the day of resurrection and he asked Allah's permission to mislead humans from Allah's TRUE PATH. We must remember that Iblis has ONE MISSION in the long life that he has which is to mislead us, and he promised to mislead us in every possible way. He will use many different ways in many different parts of the world. He will threaten us with poverty (2:268), entice us with false desires (4:119-120), entice men with power and honour, get us to worship him instead of Allah SWT by committing Shirk, Sihir and Khurafat. Since I came back to Malaysia, I realize there's so much Sihir and Khurafat here. Please be careful not to commit this and if you think you have committed Shir or Khurafat, cepat-cepatlah bertaubat (repent quickly insyaAllah)



But finally, the good news is that Allah SWT says the Syaitan has no authority over mankind except if we follow him ourselves. Even Syaitan himself realizes that he has no power and no authority over us because on the day of resurrection, this is what he will say:

“And Shaitan (Satan) will say when the matter has been decided: ‘Verily, Allah promised you a promise of truth. And I too promised you, but I betrayed you. I had no authority over you except that I called you, and you responded to me. So blame me not, but blame yourselves. I cannot help you, nor can you help me. I deny your former act in associating me (Satan) as a partner with Allah (by obeying me in the life of the world). Verily, there is a painful torment for the Zaalimoon (polytheists and wrongdoers)’” (Quran, Ibraaheem: 22). 



However, I'm finding that we are in a dire situation. Things just seem pretty bad at the moment and it feels so hard to practice Islam in its totality. Sometimes it feels like there are so many holes on the wall and water is leaking from every hole and you' re struggling to fix these leaks. We are certainly being attacked from all directions as Syaitan has promised he would do (7:16-17). Is it not? our economic system is based on interest and profit, the society is based on free-mixing and it seems easier to commit the haram (wrong) actions than to remain on the straight path.



But there is a good reason for this. Islam came as a complete system and it protects us from the attack of our enemy (the Syaitan) at three levels:

1. The individual taqwa
2. The Islamic values of the society and it's promotion of taqwa
3. The implementation and enforcement of Shariah laws by the government



These three levels are complimentary and is meant to be our armour and guard against the enticement of Syaitan. Yet, today we do not have number (3). There is no Islamic state (Khilafah) to implement, promote and enforce Islam. Yes...it is true our third line of defense is missing.



On top of that, our community and society are slowly being influenced to adopt "liberal" viewpoints and acceptance of the non-islamic way of life. The society no longer promotes taqwa (fear and obedience to Allah SWT) but rather people are more willing to accept non-islamic values and ideas.



So, we are all left with only ONE defense mechanism which is the individual taqwa and that is difficult and dangerous because taqwa is the fear of Allah SWT, it is our awareness of Him. As humans, we are weak. We often forget, we are not aware of Allah's presence at all times. Sometimes our thoughts are clear and sometimes we are confused by other thoughts. Sometimes our feelings are stable but sometimes we get disturbed by negative feelings. On top of that the moment we feel that we are okay...that we will not be affected by the whisperings of Syaitan, that marks the beginning of our downfall because that is when we succumb to pride and arrogance.

So, what can we do?


Well, ideally we should bring the Khilafah back and work for it. InsyaAllah no doubt we should all yearn for the return of Islam as a complete system. I guess we could try at every level with our friends, family and community to re-instill our islamic values and promote an environment of taqwa in our homes, our community and workplace. Try to remind one another with patience and the truth (surah Al-Asr).


As for our own individual taqwa, I really don't know...I'm struggling with that every single day SubhanAllah but no matter what we must always believe

There is no power in this world but Allah SWT. 

He is kind, merciful and we should never ever lose hope in Him. No matter how bad we think we are and how much wrong and sins we think we have done. There is always hope in repentance and forgiveness from Allah SWT so, keep asking Him for guidance and forgiveness. May Allah SWT guide us and May He return Islam as a complete system and protect us from our enemy, Iblis the OUTCAST.

True "Idols" for Muslim girls and women today

Surah At Tahrim: 11-12

"And Allah has set forth an example for those who believe the wife of Fir'aun (Pharoah), when she said: My Lord! Build for me a home with You in Paradise, and save me from Fir'aun and his work, and save me from the people who are Zalimun."

"And Maryam (Mary), the daughter of Imran who guarded her chastity. And We breathe into her through our ruh (Jibrail) and she testified to the truth of the Words of her Lord, and believe in the Scriptures and she was of the obedient (to Allah)"

As a Muslim girl growing up, I often thought it was unfair that men have so many examples to follow. Of course our Prophet Muhammad SAW was a man and he was the best of examples. Then there were great leaders e.g. Abu Bakar as Siddiq r.a., strong-willed man e.g. Umar Al Khattab r.a., a determined boy e.g. Ali r.a. , brave fighter e.g. Khalid al Walid, Jaafar bin Abi Talib, intelligent negotiator e.g. Mus'ab bin Umayr and many more...

I struggled to understand the true characteristic of a pious woman whom I should follow as an example, one who can be my "idol". Often the message given to girls are conflicting. We are often told to be a "wanita solehah" (pious woman) one has to be soft spoken, kind and sabar (patient). Yes! everything sabar...husband tak tanggung pon sabar...kene sepak terajang pon sabar*....Is that what we want our women to be? When a woman is opinionated and speaks her mind, she would be seen as "aggressive" or when she demands for her rights, she would be seen as a "gold digger" or "ungrateful". Basically, to be a "wanita solehah" one has to be brainless and easily bullied.

*husband not providing, being physically abused by husband

In a Capitalist world where men have embraced the concepts of "survival of the fittest" and "self gratification", we often find women subjected to unfair treatment and oppression. Most women nowadays work and they are expected to share 50% of the cost of living. In worse scenarios, they are expected to support their non-working husbands or even worse, having to take up bank loans and credit cards to support their extravagant male spouses. I'm sure we know of some women who are in severe debt or have gone bankrupt due to their husband's bad economic decisions and yet, in the end who is blamed? It would be the woman because she was being exactly what society expected her to be soft spoken, kind and patient...

Who is really brain-washing women to become like this? is it men i.e. man made law, customs, traditions or Islam?

As I read the beautiful verses of the Qur'an above, it made me realize about women and what are the true characteristics of a pious woman. 

Let's look at Maryam a.s. (the mother of Isa a.s). She was praised for her chastity, her obedience to God, that she kept herself isolated in worship to Allah SWT and that Allah SWT completed her. She didn't need anyone else... Even when she was about to give birth to Isa a.s. (the immaculate child), she secluded herself away from the people and gave birth to her baby in isolation, alone with Allah SWT as her protector.

The message here is a pious woman is one who worships Allah SWT alone, she keeps herself chaste and Allah SWT completes her (in her heart, soul, body and mind)

Then let's look to Asiah, the wife of Firaun. Firaun was the King of Egypt. He even claimed himself to be 'god' astaghfirullah! and yet, despite killing all the male infants of Bani Israel, he agreed to adopt Musa a.s. as their son because Asiah wanted to keep the child. That showed his love for her.

When Musa became a Prophet and taught people to worship Allah SWT alone, she believed in him and she went against Firaun, her husband. Out of fury, he tortured her but her response was not one of weakness or clinging to Firaun. She did not respond in the way that Malay dramas would like to depict a woman...falling at the feet of her husband, crying and saying something like "Oh Abang! sampai hati Abang buat saya macam ni. Maafkanlah saya Bang! " You know what I mean...that cringing scene that makes a woman look so pathetic causing my stomach to churn and feel this urge to vomit! I often wonder why does she has to apologize when usually it would be the husband that was having an affair or not fulfilling his responsibility or abusing her physically, mentally or emotionally.

Anyway, back to Asiah...wife of Firaun....

Instead of pleading to Firaun, Asiah turned to Allah SWT and prayed to Him to save her from Firaun and those who were oppressors. She asked for Allah SWT to build her a home in Jannah because she loved Allah more than anything else. She disobeyed her husband and turned against him for the sake of Allah.

the message here is: LOVE ALLAH SWT first above anyone else. Put everything in your hand (as sis Yasmin Mogahed would say) but not in your heart. Only keep Allah in your heart. Your husband is not your god Astaghfirullah! He is just a man whom if he fulfils his responsibilities towards you, Alhamdulillah but if he betrays you, then Allah is your protector and the One you hold dear to your heart.

Let's look at an example closer to our time. The best example of Khadijah r.a. (wife of Prophet Muhammad SAW). At the time when Muhammad SAW worked for her as a tradesman, she was 40 years old. She was a widower, rich, beautiful and highly intelligent. She had endless marriage proposals from leaders of Quraysh and rich tradesman. Yet, she refused to get married. She was contented with herself and her position.

The attraction she had towards Muhammad SAW was not based on his good looks. They hardly met face to face but she heard about him through her servant Maysarah. He often described Muhammad SAW as intelligent, reliable, honest, responsible and of course, he was known as the trustworthy (Al-Amin). Hence, it was these characteristics that prompted her to propose to him for marriage.

Good looks will fade in time but when you admire someone for their good characteristics, they will always have those qualities. When Khadijah r.a. married Muhammad SAW. He was an ordinary 20-year old man, an orphan with no great fortune or high status but yet, she saw something in him that made her admired and believed in him. Indeed, she was right...he became the best person ever and the best example for mankind.

Let the message to Muslim girls be this:

Build your relationship with Allah SWT first

Everyone else is secondary

Love Allah and put your complete Trust in Him

Abide by His laws and rules

Do not transgress His Limits, for whatever or whoever...

No one is worth disobeying Allah

Always remember that Allah SAW has given you your rights

He has given you self-worth

He has given you high status in Islam, as daughters, sisters, aunties, wives and mothers

Know your rights as a daughter, sister, aunty, wife and mother

You do not need anyone else to complete you

Only Allah SWT can complete you...

Shaping our lives with the solat (prayers)

In a hadith (transmission of the Prophet's sayings) it was narrated by Aishah R.A (the Prophet's wife) that the Prophet S.A.W (peace be upon him) said "The two Rak'ah before dawn (fajr) prayer are better than this world and all it contains." [Saheeh Muslim]


When I first came back to Malaysia four years ago, the first thing that awed me was waking up to the sound of the Adhan (the call for prayer). Nowadays I feel I am taking it for granted but I shouldn't. Waking up for the early morning prayer at around 5.50am is an amazing feeling. You get to breathe and enjoy the fresh air. The world is surrounded by serenity and not yet tainted by the hustle and bustle of life. The morning prayer is only two Rak'ah but what struck me about the hadith above is the merits of the two Rak'ah sunnah prayers before the actual obligatory prayer.


For most people like myself we have to mentally prepare for the rat race to get to work by 8 am. We may have to send our children to school, attend meetings, have deadlines or some would be doing groceries shopping, cooking and cleaning the house. Everyday we wake up to face a busy schedule ahead, full of daily chores but just take some time to consider this. Imagine waking up everyday knowing that you have achieved something greater than the whole world and everything in it? (as mentioned in the hadith above)

That would certainly start you off on a positive note and put you in a happy mood. By simply praying two extra Rak'ah you would be able to achieve all that.
 

Islam links all actions with specific concepts and character building exercise. It is unfortunate if we as Muslims simply do the rituals but do not imbibe the concepts to shape our mentality and emotions. Let's just take the prayer. Muslims are obligated to pray five times a day and although there is no argument that the only purpose and intention of our prayer is to worship Allah SWT alone yet, the prayer teaches us many things. It teaches us self discipline, concentration, organization and to do things in a systematic manner. We cannot pray in whichever way we want rather, there are sets of rules and regulations and particular order of things.


As we go through our busy day with tight schedules, we may feel that our 'breaks' for prayer is disruptive. We might become engrossed with work, shopping, watching TV or doing some worldly activities that we may feel burdened by the five prayers. Yet, we often forget the concept that the hereafter is the real life compared to this life which is temporary and only a test. Hence, by leaving the worldly activities to perform our obligatory prayers is a reminder for us that is the true destination, to leave everything to return to Allah SWT, to leave the dunya and concentrate on the real life which is akhirat. It is an affirmation to the concept we already hold in our mind about the next life and what is really important.

May Allah SWT make us and our children, our future generation to perform and LOVE the prayers...Ameen.

Celebrating the differences between men and women in Islam

So many of us have been away from Malaysia for a long time, living abroad for many years. I guess we missed a lot of developments and changes that happened in this country, economically, politically, infrastructure and mentality. Sometimes I have forgotten all the things that I experienced when I was growing up here and sometimes I expect that maybe things have changed.


However, my recent chat with my teenage daughter made me wonder if some things have changed at all. She is expressing the same disatisfaction and heart-ache that I felt when I was growing up as a young Muslim girl in this country especially in terms of the gender inequality and the views of men and women in Islam.


Fortunately for me, I was given the opportunity to study abroad and to experience the struggle of the western women and feminists in a male dominated society and to find answers in the gender equality in Islam. Fortunately for my daughter, she has someone to try and explain to her these issues and I pray to Allah SWT that I will be able to explain this to her, to make her understand that Islam is perfect and balanced in the way it regulates men and women as well as the relationship between the two genders.


I dedicate this to my children, my girls and my boys and anyone else who feels this aching in their chest whenever the issue of gender inequality is raised.

The first thing that humans should know is that men and women are created equal. We are EQUAL but NOT THE SAME. We have biological differences and physical capabilities.


WE ARE EQUAL that both are slaves to Allah SWT, that we are both subjected to His rules and laws, that we are both demanded to worship Him alone, that He will reward us, both men and women for our good deeds.


Surah An Nisa:124 "And whoever does righteous good deeds, male or female, and is a (true) believer such will enter paradise and not the least injustice, even to the size of a speck on the back of a date-stone, will be done to them."

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He has made some obligations equal for both men and women e.g. the five daily prayers, the fasting in Ramadhan, the Hajj, the Zakat, the da'wah. He has made things that are forbidden equal to both men and women such as drinking alcohol, eating pork, taking riba (usury) and committing zina. The punishment for those who commit haram are equal for both men and women.


There are some who deceive themselves to believe that "it is okay for men to fool around with women because they can marry more than one" but this is a lie and is not the sunnah of the Prophet SAW in his practice of polygamy. Allah SWT made lowering of the gaze, for men to not look at women and women to not look at men an obligation for both parties. (Surah an Nur: 30-31)

However, men and women are NOT THE SAME. Men have been given the physical strength and leadership qualities for a good reason whilst women have been blessed with capacity of child birth and nurturing qualities for a good reason.




Is this gender equality??

Unlike western feminism that makes men the standard and women having to constantly prove themselves to be as good, or the mentality of whatever men does, a women can do better, Islam does not promote a competition between men and women in their capabilities other than the competition to attain TAQWA. Islam does not discriminate either of the sexes but celebrates these differences with promise of immense reward.



Unlike the west that looks down upon the natural gift of women as the vessel of life, a mother. Islam raises the women status above the men for her very nature of being a mother.

Abu Hurairah (radi Allahu anhu) reported that a person came to the Messenger of Allah (sal Allahu alaihi wa sallam) and asked: “Who among people is the most deserving of my fine treatment?” He (sal Allahu alaihi wa sallam) replied: “Your mother.” He then asked, “Who next?” The Prophet (sal Allahu alaihi wa sallam) replied: “Your mother.” He asked again: “Who next?” He (sal Allahu alaihi wa sallam) said again, “Your mother.” He again asked, “Then who?” He (sal Allahu alaihi wa sallam) said: “Your father.” [Sahih Bukhari]

On the other hand, Islam raises the level of a man as the leader, the protector and provider. He leads, he is responsible, he works and he provides for the family. (Surah An Nisa: 34)

This is a responsibility of a man. Allah SWT gave him the responsibility to protect and fight for His Cause, to protect the weak and needy and the act of Jihad and syahid is linked to immense reward. Protecting, jihad fi sabillah is NOT a choice but an obligation for all able bodied men.


Surah An Nisa:75 "And what is wrong with you that you fight not in the Cause of Allah, and for those weak, ill treated, and oppressed among men, women and children, whose cry is: "Our Lord! rescue us from this town whose people are oppressors; and raise from us from You one who will protect, and raise form us from You one who will help."

Women have an important role as mothers and nurturers. She has a responsibility to look after her home and kids and she is rewarded immensely for her actions. However, she is also given the rights to own property, inheritance, to work and to contribute actively within society. It is an obligation for her to seek knowledge and to be able to raise her children with physical health as well as strong adherence to the Deen and understanding.


Even though she is allowed to work but this is HER CHOICE, unlike men where there is NO CHOICE. The man is the bread-winner, the main provider and if a woman chooses to work, she only supplements the needs of the family and herself. NO WOMEN SHOULD BE FORCED TO WORK or WORSE, TO PAY FOR HER HUSBAND'S DEBTS AND CREDIT CARDS.


All researchers know the difference between a PRINCIPAL INVESTIGATOR (PI) and a co-investigator, a lawyer knows the difference between the partner and the salaried lawyer, doctors know the difference between the specialist and the masters student. The difference is in the degree of responsibility and responsibility weighs more than the title or status. Hence, a man is the leader of the family and he shoulders the burden of providing, protecting and leading.


Islam has given both men and women GREAT EXAMPLES TO FOLLOW

The Prophet SAW is the best example. He is an example for men as the best leader, the best husband, the best father and the best sahabah. We have great leaders as examples such as Abu Bakr As-Siddiq, Umar Bin Al-Khattab, Uthman Bin Affan, Ali bin Abi Talib, Abdullah Ibn Umar and many more. Leaders who are strong in character, decision makers, strong fighters and yet, kind, loving and gentle towards their women, elderly and children.

These are the YARDSTICK for Muslim men and a standard that needs to be upheld.

As for women, we have been given the example of Asiyah the wife of Firaun, Maryam the mother of Isa, Khadijah r.a, Fatimah r.a and Aisya r.a. These are strong women who loved Allah SWT and the Messenger more than anyone else.

The examples of women are those who PUT THEIR LOVE AND TRUST IN ALLAH SWT ALONE. Asiyah the wife of Firaun went against him by believing in the ONENESS OF ALLAH SWT and when Firaun tortured her, she only called to Allah SWT and said (At Tahrim: 11) "And Allah has swt forth an example for those who believe: the wife of Firaun when she said "My Lord! Build for me a home with You in Paradise, and save me from Firaun and his work and save me from the people who are Zalimun."

So, refrain from looking to the west for answers in solving the issues of gender inequality rather embrace the truth of Islam in its definition of the rights and responsibilities of men and women.

Capitalism has reduced our community to love the dunya and fear death, instill the DISEASE OF WAHN in our men that they fear to die for the sake of Allah SWT and clinging on to the luxuries of this world. Capitalism has reduced men to beings that are subjugated by desires and lust, to commit haram and even syirk (sihir/khurafat) in order to attain the things they covet in wealth and women, preventing them from taking the just and right actions and fulfilling their responsibilities as leaders, husbands and fathers.



Capitalism has promoted women to fight for freedom BUT DUPED them into believing that freedom equals the selling of her body as a commodity and yearning for love and acceptance by men until she no longer values herself as the honoured servant of Allah SWT, the Almighty.

Ya Allah! May we be those who LOVE YOU ONLY and do not make us love anyone more than we love YOU. Fill our hearts with the remembrance of YOU for syaitan is eager to enter an empty heart...and protect us from the evil actions and intentions of others. Ameen.

My thoughts and heart stimulated by Yasmin Mogahed's "Reclaim your heart"

As soon as I read the first page of Yasmin Mogahed's book "Reclaim your heart", I felt the light switch turned on inside my head. They say, a good book is one that creates thought in your mind that leads to other stimulating thoughts.


Sis Yasmin, your words touched not only my thoughts but my heart. If I wasn't in a busy café sipping on my bubbly tea (teh tarik) whilst reading your book, I would have simply burst into buckets of tears as I totally felt your words playing every single feeling that I had contained within me.


The first chapter on "Why do people have to leave each other?". A question that has been playing in my mind for a while. It is true what the book says...."the pain is a pointer to our attachments. That which makes us cry, that which causes us the most pain is where our FALSE ATTACHMENTS lie. and it is those things which we are attached to as we should only be attached to Allah which become barriers on our path to God."


I think about the real life stories of people I know whom have lost their loved ones through betrayal, separation or death. A young mom losing her beloved husband from cancer, a devoted loving wife betrayed by her cheating husband, a trusting person abandoned by a friend. The question in our minds is always "How could you do this to me?", "How could you leave me?", "How could you betray me?".


Yet, the answer is simple and putting accountability and responsibility placed upon each soul aside, the answer is our meeting and separation is in the hands of Allah SWT. When you left me...it was not your decision, it was not in your hands and you couldn't have stayed if you wanted to...neither could you have left if you wanted to. Allah decided our brief meeting and He took us away from one another. I have known it for a while but only now am I ready to understand.


He also takes those whom we love away for a reason...and the reason is always a good one as Yasmin says in her book "If we live in this world with our hearts, it breaks us. That's why this dunya hurts, it is because the definition of dunya (this life)  as something temporary and imperfect, goes against everything we are made to yearn for. Allah put a yearning in us that can only be fulfilled by what is eternal and perfect."


Only Allah SWT is eternal and perfect.


Everything else is weak, fragile, temporary and totally filled with imperfections like the book says, we are leaning against a twig which will definitely snap. When we start to depend on the things or people or places in this world...we are leaning against a twig that can never support our weight. Hence, when Allah SWT takes away the thing that we love so much; it is a blessing because He is reminding us NOT to become attach to this world. He is reminding us that it is in Him that we should be leaning against. He is reminding us NEVER to put anything above our LOVE for Him and that includes everything....even our parents, children, spouses, wealth, properties, positions etc...etc...


Most of us know this but when it comes to our hearts, our inclinations are often the hardest to tow the line.


Sometimes I believe, to experience false attachments and to be broken hearted is necessary in order for us to find the true source of attachment. If we never became lost...we would never appreciate finding the right way. Losing something we love from this world...teaches us to detach from it and to seek something greater and everlasting. It teaches us humility and to realize that we are weak; and strength comes only when we depend on Allah SWT.


Never regret any meeting even if it is a brief one because from each encounter, we learn something and from every hurt and pain, we emerge stronger and a better person insyaAllah.

Patients are our teachers

Throughout my years as a doctor, I have learned so much from patients. It is not just about their symptoms, their diagnosis, their management but also their experiences, their feelings, their joy and their pain. I have learned most precious and valuable lessons from the way they cope with suffering and also in my own reaction towards their responses.

One of the most valuable lessons learned was from this elderly lady who is a known Chronic Bronchitis patient. She is a chain smoker and over the years, it has affected her lungs and she developed COPD (Chronic obstructive pulmonary disease). She was admitted to our wards and that night whilst I was the house-officer on call, she had an acute attack. We gave her oxygen and nebulisers and we tried everything...we really thought she was going to pass but somehow she survived and the next day, as I was on my way to the wards, I found her outside sitting in her wheelchair lighting up a cigarette. From that moment, I promised myself to never light a cigarette...

Some patients have such an impact on me that I will remember them for the rest of my life. During my obstetrics and gynaecology attachment, I had to counsel many patients with miscarriage. With my own experience of miscarriage and a stillbirth, I try to distance myself emotionally from the cases because it hurts. However, one night when I was on call...a Muslim lady came with her husband with very severe stomach pains. She was 36 weeks pregnant. We did a CTG but we couldn't really get a heartbeat and when we did an ultrasound, it was obvious that the baby had died. That night she went through labour and delivered her baby. The next day, I came to visit her after the ward round. I can remember her face, the sadness in her eyes...she looked at me as I entered her room and she smiled. I thought she was the most beautiful person, the most serene and contented person I have ever met. I sat next to her and although she couldn't understand English, I spoke to her. I told her how brave she was and how her baby will wait for her in Jannah then I bent over and kissed her forehead. I have never done that to any patient before or since; but her strength, her patience in the face of adversity made me feel so close to her. She taught me so much about life...about pain...about hope...about love.

I have seen many reactions from patients, those who wail, those who cry and even some who become angry and blame others. There was another lady who had several miscarriages and she came to the emergency department 14 weeks pregnant and she was bleeding. I had to break the bad news to her, she started getting angry and shouting...she asked me "Why is this happening to me?". My blood was boiling and I really felt like shouting back but I realized it was just her reaction at the time. She was angry and she didn't have anyone to direct her anger to. I just happened to be there...so I kept quiet and tried to make her as comfortable as I could. Later she apologized.

The biggest lesson of all...a case I will never forget is a lady who was brought in collapsed (not breathing and with no pulse). The story goes that she was seeing another man and somewhere during the act...she collapsed. Oh God! this was the worse possible nightmare imaginable. I thought to myself...if for a Muslim, to die in that state...in a state of committing haraam, it would be a nightmare of eternity. People often say "It will not happen to me" but I have seen enough cases to say "It can happen to anyone" because illness, accidents and tragedy can happen to anyone, at any time and it is non prejudice...it doesn't exclude the rich, poor, famous, good or bad.

Learn from the strength of others and from their mistakes. Life is too short to make all these mistakes ourselves.

"Some of us learn from other people's mistakes. The rest of us have to be other people" Zig Zaglar

"There are two kinds of doctors. There's the kind that gets rid of their feelings and the kind that keeps them. If you're going to keep your feelings, you're going to feel sick from time to time that's just how it works. People come in here and they're sick, bleeding and dying and they need our help and helping them is more important than how we feel..." ER Mark Greene

I would like to wish to all my final year students due to sit for their Pro-3 exams the very best and may Allah SWT give you success in this exam and for your future careers. I hope you will be the kind of doctors who will keep your feelings and to learn these valuable lessons from your patients. There are so many beautiful people around us...their beauty is not from their looks but from their experiences, their behaviour, their good heart. We just have to open our eyes and see...

A stillbirth story in 2001

9^th November 2001 was the day that I lost Sulayman. I was due to go for my antenatal check up at Pantai Medical Centre.  I came back to Malaysia to have my baby. It was during the first few days of Ramadhan. but I felt that my baby was not kicking much that night. I kept praying for my baby to be safe.

The obstetrician invited me into her clinic room. I told her my baby didn’t move much. She got me to lie down and examined for the baby’s heart beat. She moved the probe here and there. She muttered something like “I can’t find the baby’s heart beat.” Then, she reached for the ultrasound machine, again moving the probe up and down my tummy. I stared at the monitor, at my baby, there was no movement. There was no heart beat. She told me “I’m sorry but the baby has died”. I started to scream! My mom responded “Astaghfirullah”. My mom said “Are you sure, doctor”. The doctor pushed the ultrasound probe harder onto my tummy in the hope that somehow she had made a mistake but my baby was gone.

Finally I managed to compose myself and said “so what now?”

The doctor told me the best thing is to have a natural birth.

“What!” I thought “I still have to go through labour?”

She said normally it won’t take long for the body to recognise the baby has died and will expel it naturally. So, we went home.

I remembered sitting at the dining table hardly able to eat anything. My mom and dad were with me. They asked me how long before the body recognizes that the baby is gone and will go into labour. I said I don’t know but I said I don’t want to keep this ‘mayat’ inside of me. (mayat = corpse)

I couldn’t believe it...after carrying the baby for 9 months, feeling its every move and dreaming of seeing him for the first time. All hope vanished in a second!

My dad called me and he got me to read surah Baqarah: 151 – 157

“So remember Me and I will remember you, and be thankful to Me, and be not ungrateful to Me. O you who believe, seek help through patience and prayer. Surely, Allah is with those who are patient. Do not say of those who are slain in the way of Allah that they are dead. Instead, they are alive but you do not perceive. Surely We will test you with bit of fear and hunger, and loss of wealth and lives and fruits, and give good tidings to the patient who, when a suffering visits them, say “We certainly belong to Allah, and to Him we will return. Those are the ones upon whom there are blessings from their Lord and mercy as well; and those are the ones who are on the right path.”

I recited it out loud with its meanings and I understood everything...everything about life, about death and cried and cried and cried.

How incredible it was that I had life inside of me...and yet, when the angel of death took my baby’s soul away, I felt nothing! Even though he was inside of me but still, l felt nothing. It was a tragedy and yet, a beautiful reminder of how we are not in control of anything. We have no knowledge at all of the ghaib (unseen).

The next day the contractions started and my parents took me to the hospital. My then, husband took the earliest flight from London to be by my side at the birth. When it was time to push my dead baby out, I refused to do so because I knew it would mean goodbye. It would mean the beginning of my grieving but I had to. I held my little darling in my arms. He was so still, lifeless and yet so beautiful and innocent.

Soon, they had to take him away for burial. His dad took him away shrouded in white cloth to be taken to the masjid for a wash and burial.

After his death, I was afraid that I will not have another baby. I missed my baby even though I never knew him in this reality. I was yearning and longing for another baby and I guess in some way, I wanted to ‘replace’ him. Losing a child is heart breaking, beyond any form of heart break as any parent whom have lost one would know.

Then, six months later I became pregnant. At the same time I started my general practice training and after nine months I was blessed with a baby boy, a mercy from Allah SWT. His arrival was a cure and soothing to the eyes and heart Alhamdullillah. Allah SWT has replaced my pain and grieving with something better, a lovely son in this life and a beautiful baby in Jannah inshaAllah. May Allah forgive my sins and make me amongst those who are successful.

Every time I talk about Sulayman, my eyes still fill with tears. It is not out of ungratefulness as I have accepted the decision of Allah but it is out of love from a mother to a child that will never ever die. I will never forget my baby.

I talk to all of my children about their brother Sulayman and we visit his grave at least once a year, a reminder to us to be grateful for the life that Allah SWT has given to us and to remind ourselves that one day we too will join this tiny soul.

Resolution 2013

Six days away from the beginning of the year. 2012 had been a hectic year with all sorts of responsibilities plus unnecesary annoyances that requires time and effort but 2013 will be an even more hectic year ahead. Today I finally had the chance to sit down and to fully concentrate on work cause the kids had gone out with their dad. I felt totally liberated and managed to be extremely productive Alhamdulillah.

Tomorrow will be a new day and it will be a new day everyday for the rest of the year inshaAllah. I felt that I have been through 'hell' and back since I relocated to Malaysia but every single episode, every single event, every laughter, every joy, every pain, every fear, every experience we encounter shapes our character and makes us whom we are today. We are stronger, we are more resilient, more resourceful and most importantly, MORE GRATEFUL to the ONE who puts us through all of these tests. ALHAMDULILLAH.

If I was to make a new year's resolution it would be:

1. To read a good book each month, a self motivating book or an inspiring autobiography.

2. To be more productive in my work, produce at least two papers, motivate students even if only one student out of 30 can remember only one thing I say, that would be an achievement. Even if the thing they remember from my class out of all my jibberish is I make good 'ikan bakar' then, it is still an achievement.

3. To be grateful everyday for every little thing that Allah SWT gives and to stop worrying, just put one's trust in Allah. He has helped me all this way and all this time...He has shown me every time that He always comes to the rescue. How can I ever not trust Him?

4. To never lose oneself. No matter what happens, no matter how good or how bad...whatever the tragedy or trauma. Do not lose oneself. Do not let the evil actions of others turn us into bitterness or vengeance or anger or hate. Always take the morally higher ground of being the one to forgive, to repent, to learn from the mistakes of others, to be a better person. In every adversity, there is opportunity...for example, the one who loses a job may find opportunities in starting his own business. There is opportunity to do things we have never done before, opportunities to make new friends and relationships, opportunities to spend our precious time with family and friends, opportunity to learn new things, opportunity to become a better person and most importantly, opportunity to get closer to God. So, if one feels that the worse thing has happened...take your focus away from the problem and look for opportunities.

And that is my 5th resolution, to refocus my mind towards opportunities. InshaAllah 2013 is all about opportunities and to do everything I've always wanted to do but never had the time. This year I will make the time inshaAllah.

Alhamdulillah life is good...if we live for the sake of Allah SWT alone.

Let's heal our hearts with the remembrance of...

Sometimes I feel a bit down...and there is nothing better to do than to think about the hereafter when one is feeling down. After all, the hereafter is our real home and this life is only a passing journey, a place of test in order to get back to our real home.

So, just imagine if you're on a journey maybe from London to Malaysia. You're stuck in a plane, a thirteen hours flight with little leg space, the person sitting next to you is snoring loudly with bad breath and the captain makes an announcement that the plane is passing through a bad storm. The plane is moving from side to side, up and down and you feel sick in the stomach...you're feeling down and miserable so, what do you think of? Of course I would think of Allah SWT and make lots of dua but I would also think of home...the moment when the plane lands and I can stretch my legs. I would imagine getting home and lying in my own bed, having a cup of hot chocolate, curling up into a ball and falling fast asleep.

That is the life of this world, just like a challenging plane journey, sometimes miserable and sometimes smooth sailing but the hereafter is our home. No matter how wonderful a plane journey is such as if you're flying first class or a private jet, no one would want to fly on a plane forever...everyone wants to get back home.

So, I'm thinking about the hereafter and what better way to remember the hereafter than to read the Qur'an and hadith related to the matter. The Qur'an describes the hereafter, Jannah and Jahannam beautifully. It describes it with things which we as humans can comprehend and compare and imagine. It speaks about gardens, water, rivers of milk and honey, a river flowing underneath mansions, castles, fruits and sweet spring water. It talks about silver garments and golden cups...all the things that we can relate to...all that we can imagine.

It talks about people, beautiful people in their prime youth and never becoming old, with skin as fair and almost see through and light shining from their foreheads. It talks about fair maidens and boy servants. It talks about lying on a couch with cushions and carpets spread on the floor. It talks about meeting the people we love, our family, our friends, sitting underneath shaded trees and talking about the past, our previous life and how Allah SWT saved us with His Mercy.

It talks about beautiful speech with no ill feelings, no jealousy, no bad mouthing, no heartache, no pain and it talks about the feeling of peace and serenity...everything that we could possible wish for. It is so real, so clear, so imaginable and yet, unimaginable cause it is so much more than our limited mind could possibly comprehend.

Right now, we only have the certainty of knowledge...knowledge of the hereafter but on that day, when the time comes...Allah SWT says that we will have the certainty of sight. We will see it with our own eyes and when that happens, no one can deny anymore. So, imagine and remember now...and let our hearts heal with Allah's Mercy.

سُوۡرَةُ التّکاثُر
بِسۡمِ ٱللهِ ٱلرَّحۡمَـٰنِ ٱلرَّحِيمِ

أَلۡهَٮٰكُمُ ٱلتَّكَاثُرُ (١) حَتَّىٰ زُرۡتُمُ ٱلۡمَقَابِرَ (٢) كَلَّا سَوۡفَ تَعۡلَمُونَ (٣) ثُمَّ كَلَّا سَوۡفَ تَعۡلَمُونَ (٤) كَلَّا لَوۡ تَعۡلَمُونَ عِلۡمَ ٱلۡيَقِينِ (٥) لَتَرَوُنَّ ٱلۡجَحِيمَ (٦) ثُمَّ لَتَرَوُنَّہَا عَيۡنَ ٱلۡيَقِينِ (٧) ثُمَّ لَتُسۡـَٔلُنَّ يَوۡمَٮِٕذٍ عَنِ ٱلنَّعِيمِ (٨

The mutual rivalry (for piling up of worldly things) diverts you, (1) Until you visit the graves (i.e. till you die). (2) Nay! You shall come to know! (3) Again, Nay! You shall come to know! (4) Nay! If you knew with a sure knowledge (the end result of piling up, you would not have been occupied yourselves in worldly things) (5) Verily, You shall see the blazing Fire (Hell)! (6) And again, you shall see it with certainty of sight! (7) Then, on that Day, you shall be asked about the delights[] (you indulged in, in this world)! (8) 

I was searching for answers but then I realized...

Science teaches us that there is an explanation to everything. It teaches us to search for the truth, to find the cause to all problems. Science teaches us to understand the world such as what causes a volcano to erupt, how does a light bulb work, how do chemicals react?

In Medicine, we seek explanations as to how our human body functions and what happens when things go wrong. We try to determine the cause of illnesses and to explain why diseases happen in some people but not others. We search for risk factors such as the link between lung cancer and cigarette smoking. Even psychologists attempt to explain the patterns of human behavior and why people behave or react in certain ways.

As a scientist, I have been searching for explanations everyday, to understand this world and this life in the context of causes and 'whys'. I deal with patients everyday and my job requires me to try and understand why patients do not take their medication, why people seem ambivalent in trying to change their lifestyle when they know it is harming their health. Hence, trying to understand, to find answers, to make sense of things has become part of my nature.

However, two nights ago something happened that totally blew me off. On my way home as I was driving along, it occurred to me that somethings just do not have an explanation. I went somewhere to search for answers and yet, despite their knowledge and expertise on the matter, they were unable to give me any answers at all.

This universe is still a mystery to all of us. There are so many things that we do not understand, so many things that are unknown to us and it is important for us to remember, that the knowledge of Allah is beyond this vast universe. If we were to use the branches as pens and the ocean as ink, we will still be unable to fathom all the knowledge and wonders of Allah, His Knowledge and His creations.

Say: Though the sea became ink for the Words of my Lord, verily the sea would be used up before the words of my Lord were exhausted, even though We brought the like thereof to help. (18: 109)

This world is a material world, a reality in which our senses can feel, touch, taste, see and hear but there are also things that Allah SWT has created that are real but intangible such as the angels and the jinns. There are things that are tangible and yet, its existence is so far away that we can barely imagine it's true nature such as the sun, the planets and the stars. However, the most important thing is that there are things that are beyond our senses that our only knowledge of them is through the revelation of Allah SWT in the Qur'an such as the day of judgment, the hereafter, jannah and jahannam.Yet, these are the most the important things and Allah SWT describe them as the true life, the real ultimate destination.


Often, our limited mind focuses only on this material world. We feel things, we see things and we want things but despite the knowledge of the hereafter that resides in our mind, we fail to make that the focus of our lives. Maybe it is because the link between this life and the hereafter is unclear, what actions do we need to do in order to get there in one piece? Often secular mentality has made us believe that the actions related to hereafter are only those relating to worshiping actions (the ibadah) and has detached the 'worldly' actions such as the seeking of knowledge, the study of science, working to provide for our family from the concept of reward and punishment

Yet life is not just about ibadah...we have to eat, we have to work, we have to go to school, we have to find shelter, buy or rent a house, find transport to go to work. There are so many other aspects of life that requires us to do actions other than ibadah. So, what happens when we undertake these actions if we were to separate them from the reward and punishment of the hereafter?


If only we were to reconcile every action, every responsibility that we carry towards ourselves, our family, all the people around us, the environment...everything to the hereafter. For us to recognize that everything we do can earn us reward or punishment depending on whether it is carried out in halal or haram way. Then, maybe that awareness of the hereafter will become more prominent. 


So, I was seeking for answers to quench my thirst and yearning for understanding. I thought if I understood then, I would be satisfied. However, the truth is...the only thing that matters in seeking knowledge is to get closer to Allah SWT. The truth belongs to Allah SWT alone. We will never be able to understand everything and somethings are best left alone...especially in the realms of the unseen (ghaib). The most important thing is for us to recognize that the more we learn, the more we should realize how insignificant we are and how little we truly know about the Power and Knowledge of Allah, it should humble us and inspire us to obey Allah SWT more.

Words of contemplation (1)

I'm sitting here in McD @ Ampang Park observing the people around me. It is incredible to think that every single person here or in the world has a whole life story to tell. The things that they have gone through and experienced to make them who they are.

I'm thinking about how much a person has achieved in their life and how much they could potentially achieve. Everyone has their potential and the capability to reach whatever heights and limits they dream of achieving and yet, often the thing that stops us from achieving what we want is none other than ourselves.

Often our growth and development are stagnated by our own fears. Often we are traumatized by 'voices' in our own heads preventing us from reaching our goals. I'm not talking about hearing voices like an auditory hallucination, a symptom of psychosis but rather, our own voice... that voice in our head that tells us to refrain, that causes doubt...

How many times have we stopped ourselves from telling someone we love them, a friend, a spouse, our kids, our parents out of fear of rejection? We fear to expose ourselves to the possibility of being turned down and getting hurt.

How often have we stopped ourselves from pursuing our dreams in education, career, ambition out of fear of failure? We fear the possibility of not achieving the dream and in the end, we give up before we even try...

How often have we stopped ourselves from making a change in our lives, to leave an unbearable situation such as an unhappy marriage or an unsatisfactory job out of fear of making the wrong decision? We fear the unknown, the possibility of crossing to the other side and ending up in a worse situation. So, we persevere even though we can't tolerate the workload or the stressful environment.

How often have we refrained from taking that step to repent to Allah SWT because we fear that maybe we do not deserve His forgiveness? We are too afraid to pray to Him and ask for His Mercy out of our own guilt when Allah SWT says

"And whoever does evil, or wrongs his own soul, but afterwards seeks Allah’s forgiveness, will find Allah is Forgiving, Compassionate."

(Qur’an 4:110)

Often we fail to even realize that the one who disappoints us, the one who prevents us from achieving our dreams, the one that stands in the way of our goals, the one who shatters all hope is none other than ourselves.

So, here I am sitting here thinking about things, about life, about people as I normally do, I think about how amazing we are as human beings, how we are simply a speck of dust in this vast universe and yet, how complicated we are inside, physically, psychologically and emotionally. 

إِنَّمَآ أَمۡرُهُ ۥۤ إِذَآ أَرَادَ شَيۡـًٔا أَن يَقُولَ لَهُ ۥ كُن فَيَكُونُ (٨٢) فَسُبۡحَـٰنَ ٱلَّذِى بِيَدِهِۦ مَلَكُوتُ كُلِّ شَىۡءٍ۬ وَإِلَيۡهِ تُرۡجَعُونَ

His practice, when He intends to do something, is no more than He says, “Be”, and it comes to be. (82) So, pure (from every fault) is the One in whose hand is the dominion of all things. And towards Him you are to be returned. (83) Surah Yasin

Thank you Allah for making me a doctor

I was invited for lunch at a patient's house. It was one of the most beautiful houses I've ever been to. I've been to many different mansions but this was simply amazing.

Externally, it looked like another large detached house, surrounded by high walls but when you enter the front door and out into the courtyard, you are greeted by a swimming pool surrounded by palm trees. We had lunch beside the pool and I felt so happy just getting to know this nice family.

I wanted to cherish every minute, every second...

I felt so blessed Alhamdulillah to be a doctor, to be given the opportunity to enter into the lives of so many people and I want to take the time to remember each and everyone of my patient... to learn something from them.

When I was growing up I never thought I could be a doctor. I thought only the smartest people could do medicine instead, I wanted to become an engineer. After my SPM results, I applied to Tenaga Nasional Berhad (TNB) for a scholarship to study engineering in the UK. I've always wanted to go to the UK...it was my dream. I filled in the forms, sent the applications, went for the interview and received an offer.

I told my dad about the TNB offer, begging him to sign the agreement and consent but he refused. He was adamant that I should not go overseas and that I should stay locally. I cried for days but there was nothing I could do. The deadline for submitting the offer passed, TNB called asking me why I have not submitted my agreement and that they would still accept me. I told them I had to reject their offer and my heart broke to pieces. I was devastated because I thought my future was lost...

Then, a 'magical' thing happened, the few days later my dad came home and he said he had something to tell me. He said that I'm going to study A levels in the UK and to do Medicine. I couldn't believe my ears...I couldn't believe what was happening... I never thought in a million years that my dad would agree for me to study overseas. He was not the type of person who would change his mind.

Allah SWT showed me that anything is possible, that Allah SWT is the One who decides our future and that if Allah SWT wills for something to happen, it would happen no matter what and if Allah SWT forbids something from happening, it would never happen even if the whole world wants it to happen but one thing I realize is that we need to make an effort.

I spent a year studying for my SPM, eating, breathing and drinking SPM and I worked so hard to get the TNB scholarship and even though I had to reject it, Allah SWT replaced it with something better, Alhamdulillah.

I never thought I was smart enough to be a doctor but as soon as I started my house-man-ship I knew Allah SWT has chosen the best career for me. I wouldn't want to be anything else. Medicine is not about the title, the status, the money but it is about understanding life... it is about people... and their lives, their health and disease... it is about understanding human beings and what makes us function, what makes us alive, every heart beat, every breath, every thought and everything that we find out about ourselves ultimately lead us to one thing, the Creator.

This is because no matter how much medicine gives us the answer to the question 'how?'... it doesn't give us an answer to the question 'why?' Ultimately, why... it is because Allah SWT made it in such a way and that behind everything that works... there is something 'hidden', something supernatural, intelligent, incredibly powerful that makes things function the way it does and when things go wrong, no matter what we do as doctors, how hard we try, how clever we are at 'fixing' the human body, we have to concede that there's still something greater out there who decides which patient gets better and which patient doesn't and it is that 'something' that controls life and death.

HOW MUCH ARE WE AWARE OF OURSELVES...OF OTHERS...OF EVERYTHING?

Have you ever felt terribly annoyed by a shopper blocking your way? You’re pushing your trolley along this aisle and they’re standing there staring at a tin of tomato completely oblivious to you? Yes... it happens all the time.


When I was in the UK, these things don’t happen often. Most of the time people are aware of other people and often responsive to the needs of others e.g. opening doors for other people, helping someone with a heavy suitcase... but sometimes when they do block the aisle... it is because the person has made a conscious decision that they have the ‘rights’ to be there...that their individualistic rights to be in the middle of the aisle is more important than anyone else’s right of way...it is a totally selfish individualistic but conscious decision...

When I keep facing this kind of similar behaviour in Malaysia... initially I started to believe that people were terribly individualistic and selfish... but after a while I start to realize that most of the time people are genuinely unaware... they are simply unaware that they are standing in the middle of the aisle blocking other people’s way. It is not because of a self conscious decision to be selfish and individualistic but rather their level of consciousness of their surroundings is at a minimum level...

This is something that I have come to notice more and more... the lack of awareness... people are walking around, driving around almost subconsciously. How many people out there are just living day to day...going to work, completing chores, studying but completely unaware of themselves, of others, of their surroundings and of the bigger issues that dictate what goes on in the world?

Awareness is the state or ability to perceive, to feel, or to be conscious of events, objects or sensory patterns.

Self awareness is an important aspect of human psychology and scientists have dedicated time and research in understanding the development of self awareness and awareness of others in children. It is thought that intelligence is related to early development of awareness. Children start to become aware or conscious of themselves around the age of 1-2 years old...and it is a process that they go through until they reached the age of 4-5 years old...

Islam teaches us the most fundamental issues of awareness. The process of awareness that should make Muslims achieve the highest level of intelligence.

1. Awareness of the existence of God – it is not sufficient to simply believe in God as a form of theoretical or knowledge rather, this believe should instigate an awareness in the believer that God exists and He is present at all times.

Allah SWT says in 50:16 “And indeed We have created man, and We know what his ownself whispers to him And we are nearer to him than his jugular vein.”

This is awareness for us...this should provoke an awareness inside us that God is nearer to us than ourselves...

The Prophet SAW says in hadith of Jibrail when he SAW explained about ihsan. He said “It is to worship Allah as though you are seeing Him and while you see Him not, yet truly He sees you.”



2. Awareness of the Qur’an being word of God – Often Muslims are taught to respect the Qur’an, in awe of the Qur’an, to recite and memorize it but how often are we taught to be aware of the Qur’an being the speech of Allah... that each word has meaning and implications in our lives? Such awareness should propel us into action... into being the person that the Qur’an tells us to become.


3. Self awareness – Islam teaches us to be aware of ourselves, our thoughts, our ideas, our feelings and behaviour. It tells us to self- reflect (muhasabah) or in the Western world it is known as reflective practice...to look back upon our day and reflect upon our deeds, to improve ourselves everyday... to critically analyse ourselves and to change any negative thoughts or actions into positive ones...

Allah SWT says in 50: 17 – 18 “(Remember) that the two receivers (recording angels) receive each human being, one sitting on the right and one on the left. Not a word does he or she utter but there is a watcher by him ready (to record it)

 4. Awareness of others – islam also teaches us to be aware of others...aware of their thoughts, feelings, behaviours, wants and needs...to treat people with kindness and respect. To deal with problems justly and in accordance to the shariah...to have good manners towards others and to be harsh against those who insult Islam.



5. Awareness of the environment and surroundings – Islam creates a sense of awareness inside us to care for the environment, living creatures and our surroundings. Abu Hurayra reported that the Prophet SAW said “a man came across a thorn in the road and said, ‘I will remove this thorn so that it does not harm a Muslim.’ For that reason he was forgiven”


6. Awareness of halal and haram – regardless of whether a Muslim adheres to the shariah, one should still be aware of halal and haraam, right and wrong, good and bad...how the shariah is a guidance and should dictate how a Muslim should live and how the shariah should organize the society. This is awareness of the system...the Islamic system.


7. Awareness of the political situation of the Ummah. The Prophet SAW says “those who go to sleep not thinking about the affairs of the Ummah is not one of us” and “those who wake up without thinking about the affairs of the ummah is not one of us."


Hence, awareness should be the core feature of the Muslim’s mind and being. The simple day to day activities such as courtesy whilst shopping, safe driving, opening doors for others are basic awareness that should be as natural as breathing. The higher level functioning of our mind should be awareness of ourselves, our actions, our surroundings and how we interact with ourselves, others and our relationship with Allah SWt...this is perfectly demonstrated by Ali r.a when he was in the midst of a battlefield and he was about to kill his enemy but his enemy spat at him and so, he released him out of fear that he would kill the man because of anger rather than for the worship of Allah SWT. This is the elevated personality with true awareness of himself, of his enemy, of his surrounding and of his relationship with Allah.

We too need to develop this awareness...the true awareness for us to become the exemplary character.

Earthquake, Tsunami, Tornadoes: enough to make us know that the last day will come

Tuesday 14th June 2011 at 8am, I reached my work place and as I sat in my office, rushing to get some work done before a meeting that was due in a few minutes time, I felt the table shake and then, it was my chair. At first I thought there was something wrong with me, maybe I'm dizzy but then I realized, the table and chair were actually moving. I thought to myself, "this feels like an earthquake".

This was my first experience of a tremor. The epicentre was in Northern Sumatera measuring 5.6. We do not live in the fault lines but we are surrounded by countries that lie in the fault lines of the tectonic plates. The earthquake in the Indian ocean near Aceh created a tsunami that devastated many countries and took away countless number of lives in 2004. The recent Japanese earthquake also produced a tsunami with devastating consequences, destroying a nuclear plant that could potentially release radiation that will effect the whole world for many years to come.

As I sat there, swaying in my seat feeling completely helpless, I felt very unpleasant. It was like being trapped in a shaker with no means of escaping. However, this was only from a 5.6 magnitude earthquake occurring many miles away...I thought to myself, "SubhaAllah! this is a sign and why do we not see it?"

Allah swt informs us in the Qur'an about the Day of Judgement which He names various names. One of its name is al-Zalzalah, the final earthquake.

Is it so hard for us to realize that the earthquakes that we have witnessed so far are a sign for what is to come? Just because we survive to tell the tale of the earthquakes, tsunamis, tornadoes and hurricanes does not mean that we will always survive, that there will be no ending to this world.

Rather, these events should make us realize that the earth will come to an end and it could take us by surprise just like the Aceh tsunami, the Japanese tsunami and the hurricane in midwest USA. Are we going to say all these warnings in the Qur'an are tell tales just because it hasn't happened yet. Will we only start believing when the day strikes us without warning? 

Allah has warned us about the last day and it is not to make us scared irrationally, it is not to create a purely emotional reaction that will last a few seconds, forgetting about it after the adrenaline rush has dissipated. Rather, this warning is for us to seriously consider our position in this world and the next, why are we here? where do we want to go from here? what will happen to us when we die? These are important questions that need a definitive answer.

We need to know about our Creator, what He demands from us and the fact that we will return to Him one day.

These signs are actually a blessing for mankind that we recognize the Truth, so that we are prepared and for us to work towards the greater things in life, like obeying the commands of Allah, working to make His words the highest, working to achieve Jannatul Firdaus, working to implement Allah's rules and systems that will bring justice to world, like the time of the Prophet (saw) and the sahabah and those Khalifs that came after them, the Umayyad, the Abbasids and the Uthmani. Those were the glory days of Islam under the Khilafah.

When we read about what is happening around us, we know that there are activities happening underneath the earth and we do not need to be a professor in geology to recognize these signs. How long do we have on this planet, I do not know. No one knows but Allah but it should make us understand that we are limited, our lives are limited, the life of this earth is limited and we need to know for sure that Allah is telling us the Truth. Allah swt says in the Qur'an:

Surah Al Haqqah: 14 - 16 "And the earth and the mountains shall be removed from their places, and crushed with a single crushing. then on that Day shall the Great event befall. And the heaven will be rent asunder for that Day it (the heaven) will be frail and torn up."

How can I go back...I can never go back...

It has been really hard for me to settle in Malaysia despite it being my country of origin, despite me being born here and growing up here for the first 17 years of my life...I travelled to UK when I was 17 years old and whilst I was in UK, I found something amazing...I actually found Islam.

Even though I was born in Malaysia, a supposedly Muslim country but I never really knew Islam. I never truly recognised Allah, my Lord, my Creator...but when I was in UK I started to meet, discuss and interacted with the Muslims in Britain, they opened my heart, my mind to this beautiful Deen. I studied at Kings College London and I was the only Malay student in the Medical faculty. I didn't have a choice but to mix with others...at first, I used to hang around with the people at my halls of residence. I had a friend called Imran Khan (not the cricket player) who was a Dentist and he was very funny and smart. We used to study together and he taught me all about anatomy of the head and neck. I was living like everyone else...a secular life but I always felt that something was missing. I had all the freedom in the world, no parents, no uztaz, no government to tell me what to do...I was free and yet, I felt trapped within my own skin. Trapped by the conditions imposed upon me by society. I wasn't free at all and so one day, I went to the prayer room at the University for the first time and I was greeted by this beautiful petite girl wearing himaar and jilbab. She started talking to me, asking me about myself. I was weary at first because I thought people would judge me, I wanted to be discreet and not speak to anyone but she spoke to me and she was nice to me and she didn't care that I was not wearing the hijaab (at that time).

From that day, I kept going to the prayer room and from time to time chatted with some of the Muslims there. Then, one day I was on my way to the prayer room and the sisters invited me to join them for a talk. I went with them and what was said just opened my mind. I felt like a light was switched on and I was no longer groping in the dark. Her topic was simple...purpose of life...but all this while, I never realised that my purpose in life was to worship Allah. That was the reason that God created me.

From that day, I never looked back. The Muslim sisters became my real sisters because my family were in Malaysia. We spent time together, they helped me, supported me, spent Ramadhan and Eid together, even got me married. For the first time in my life, I experienced true sisterhood and true brotherhood. I truly felt that we were one ummah, the ummah of Muhammad (saw).

I started to learn more about Islam, about my Deen, about my Lord. I started to learn about the Qur'an and what it means to make the Qur'an alive, to relate everything that Allah says to what is happening in reality. To understand the relationship between Truth and Falsehood, to understand the plots and plans and political scenario of the world....my mind was truly liberated. I understood what was before life, what is after life and what is this life. Before life was nothing but Allah, after life is the Hereafter, the Akhirah and this life was a real test...to see whether we will believe and obey Allah or disbelieve and disobey Him.

So, after all that...how can I possibly go back to not knowing? How can I accept some of the things that are being said? How can I close my eyes to what is happening around the world? How can I ignore the cries and suffering of my brothers and sisters...who have helped me and protected me when I was weak and alone? How is it possible for me to go from believing, understanding of 1Ummah, the Ummah of Muhammad (saw) to being 1ummah of God knows who? I don't want to be the ummah of someone else...I don't want to follow anyone else...

I am finding it so hard right now...so hard to explain all these feelings that I have. To a certain extend, I am disappointed, frustrated and sometimes I just feel down and low....looking at the state we are in...the state of mind. There is so much potential in this Ummah, I mean...the Ummah of Muhammad (saw) but we are shackled and chained by those who wish to see the Ummah in a state of decline. The Ummah can do great things if they truly have confidence in Islam, confidence in themselves as Muslims, stop worrying about what the non-Muslims would say or think, stop worrying about rocking the boat. Don't they realise that under the rule of Islam, the Khilafah...it wasn't just the Muslims that excelled but non-Muslims as well? Just read on one topic...the history of Islamic medicine and you will find the names of great scholars and inventors of Jews, Christian and Muslim origins. We can be a great nation but unfortunately, we put restrictions on ourselves and that is our tragedy.