A list of things that I've realised since I've left UK

1. You do not have to be in control of everything.

Yes! What a relief! You do not have to be in control of everything. The house doesn't have to be spotless! You do not have to work, look after children, prepare the meal and still look like Miss Universe. You can make mistakes. You sometimes will lose your temper. You get ill and exhausted sometimes and you just want to have a rest and it is all okay. Most importantly, you are not in control of how your child will turn up. You are not in control of anything. Forget about "What will happen if I do this..." or "What will happen if I do that..." You just concentrate on what you have to do, what is Fardh, what is haraam and your accountability; and leave all the rest to God.

2. You do not have to be the "perfect mom"

Yes! Your children do not need you 24-7. They do not need you breathing down their backs. You just need a trustworthy adult to be around to make sure they are okay and leave them to play, to fight, to laugh and to cry. Give them your love and enforce the discipline that they need. They need to know the boundaries and they need to know that you are boss!

3. Children do NOT need toys.

Oh boy! they really don't. They need space to run around and each other. Let them use their imagination. Their whole surrounding is their play area and everything in it are their toys. They love playing with leaves, with stones, with boxes...even ants! Instead buy yourself nice things. LOL!

4. Studying is a great past time.

If you want a great past time for your kids. Get them to study. Get them to find out things. Get them to do research. Discuss with them about the world, history, geography, science...all these knowledge is about God's creation. There is nothing more fulfilling than getting to know the Creator.

5. Night is for sleep and day is for seeking the bounty of Allah.

Qur'an Surah Rum: 23 "And among His Signs is your sleep by night and by day, your seeking of His bounty. Verily in that are signs for people who hear."


Day time is a time for work, school, study, visiting friends and relatives, going shopping. Day time is activity time. There is no time for rest except when you are ill; like I'm ill at the moment with a bit of fever or just a short nap after praying zuhur to rejuvenate yourself. After that, go out and seek the bounty of Allah, go out and seek the rewards of Allah. There is no time to procrastinate.

6. House work is not a chore! and work can be very fulfilling.

There is no such word as 'chore' in the Malay language. There is 'house-work' and there is 'office work'. Wherever you are, home or office you have to work. To live is to survive and to survive you need to work, you need to do something. Those who claim that life is for pleasure and enjoyment usually ends up doing nothing. They anticipate for the time when they will be free to do other things that are enjoyable like when it is time to go home from work, friday night when it is time to go to the pub, weekend when they can 'enjoy' themselves. The rest of the time they are not living but they are dead...just doing what they need to do because they have to, because it is a chore.

Every second we are living...and in everything that we do there is opportunity for reward in this world and the hereafter. If we put our effort into it and if we do things with others.

Furthermore Allah swt says "O you who believe! Answer the call of Allah and His Messenger when He calls you to that gives you life". Hence, Islam is the ingredient that gives us life. So, we need to answer to the call of Islam and perform all the things that we need to do as Muslims such as in Da'wah and Jihad. Hence, procrastination is not an option.

7. Rizk is completely and utterly in the hands of God.

God gives and He takes away and no one else can give it to you or take it away from you. Everything that you have no matter where it came from is from God so, be thankful to Him alone. However, you need to work hard because that is what you have to do. You must be like the bird that goes out in the morning seeking its provision. Living off the benefit system is not an option. It is a system that demotivates people, separates the strong-willed from the weak. It is a system that divides people into classes and eventually destroys them. Instead, make it easy for people to set up small businesses. Give them land to grow things and produce crops...Stop giving people small hand-outs; just give them a life!

Past...present...future

It is true what is said in the Qur'an as Allah swears "By time! Man is clearly at a loss except those who have Faith and does righteous good deeds, and to remind one another with the Truth and to remind one another with patience." Allah swears by the Time that He, Himself has created that human beings are wasting time...

I'm saying this because...I'm just thinking about six months ago when I was waiting to return to Malaysia; I was dreaming to meet my family again and what kind of life I was going to have and here I am, I have fulfilled my dreams. I have achieved what I wanted to achieve. My feeling of longing for the future, the anticipation is now a reality, it is the present and somethings are already in the past.

Now, I am longing for other things. I am dreaming of next week when I should be getting my new car, when I'll be going to visit Melaka for a family trip, or my dream of going to visit the beach in Pahang at the next school holiday. However, after next week that will be the past and who knows whether I will be going to Melaka or not; but if I do, it will no longer be a dream, an imagination but it will be a memory. Hopefully, a sweet memory.

This is life. We are constantly yearning to get to the next level. As a child, we want to grow up. When we are at University, we want to graduate and work. When we start our jobs, we want to get a promotion. Sooner or later, we will get to where we want to be or maybe not but still, time carries on and it waits for no one.

Sometimes we get broken-hearted and it feels like nothing can ever make the feelings of pain go away and yet, time is a healer. The thing that seems so important and crucial today may not be as important tomorrow. Things that seem very intense today may seem rather trivial tomorrow.

Sometimes after we have achieved what we wanted to achieve and we tend to think, now what? or what's next? This goes on and on until one day we reach the end of our journey and then we understand that is the final destination. That is actually our target and yet, have we prepared for it?

Hence, the surah Al-Asr (The Time) a reminder for me that we are all lost in this world, victims of time and space, rushing herds except those who have Iman and does the righteous good deeds. The deeds prescribed to us by the Creator. It gives another meaning to this life, another level of consciousness.

Roller-coaster ride

Took the children to Berjaya Times Square on Saturday 8th May 2010. At first, we went on the kiddie's ride for Malik and Hadiya. It was nice and relaxing. This was actually our first proper Malaysian outing since we relocated back to KL.

Prior to this, we couldn't really 'pamper' ourselves because there was a lot of bureaucratic things to sort out and we had to live off our savings until we had a job. I feel a bit sad at times because people have the impression that anyone who returns from UK must be loaded with money due to the high exchange rate (or shall I say...previously high exchange rate). Things are different from one person to another and Allah gives his Rizk to whom He Wills. Truth was...we were struggling but Alhamdulillah we had enough to live and to survive. Life in London was expensive, the Rent, the Food, Petrol, Car maintenance, Islamic school fees and it wasn't easy. If someone earns £1200 and you think, "well, that is like RM6000" but the house rent is £730, Food expenses is £200 a month plus £200 on utility bills and petrol...well, you do the maths. It is not all rosy over there.

Alhamdulillah we are fine now and Allah showers His Grace and Bounty to whom He wills; He gives and He can take away and no one has the power but Him. I understand that now. I do not worry about Rizk and I understand that in life, we must work hard and we must excel in everything that we do because we want to be the best; not for Glory, not for wealth, not for status but for the sake of God. It is another sad feeling when you realise how Capitalism has corrupted everything; making MATERIAL BENEFIT the purpose of our action. When people only does things to achieve a material gain and they can't see beyond that. How sincerity is only when you do something for the sake of God.

Anyway, Times Square...

It was a bit expensive so, I thought like it or not I must go on the roller-coaster ride. I'm not a roller-coaster kind of person and never actually been on one in my entire life. Still, I must go on this one just for the experience.

Before that, we went on the Dizzy Izzy and it is like this spinning thing that spins on itself in multidimensional ways. I really felt sick! It is like you're sitting there and your insides are churning and your mind is just thinking when is this going to end. Hence, I was very apprehensive about going on the roller-coaster thinking...if I sit on that seat and plug myself in, I can't get out of it half way.

Anyway, we sat in the roller-coaster Fajar and I and waited. Then, it was time and away we go...Boy! I never screamed so much in my adult life. You know as a young child, you can scream your lungs out and not feel any inhibitions. I still remember those days but as an adult, you bearly scream unless there's some emergency. On that roller-coaster ride, we all screamed. Roller-coaster was nothing like the previous ride. There was no time to even think. It was purely adrenaline rush. It was fast, it was exciting but it was over before you knew it. Fajar's legs became like jelly afterwards. She could bearly carry herself but it was enjoyable. A once in a lifetime experience.