My Malaysian Sepang F1 GrandPrix experience

Yesterday, a historic day on Sunday 29th March 2015,  I attended the F1 Sepang Grand Prix for the very first time. Despite being an F1 fan, I had never watched it 'live'. In fact, I left F1 many years ago and struggled to update myself on names of new drivers and teams. Despite all that, it was an amazing experience!

The qualifying session on Saturday was interrupted by a heavy tropical downpour. Me and hubby reached Sepang track at around 5pm and as we approached the main grandstand, I could see the storm cloud approaching. Qualifying started and so did the rain...fortunately, the rain lasted only for half an hour and we watched the qualifying session from the main grandstand opposite the team line up. Wow! the F1 cars were zooming past and I could feel the adrenaline rush. It was totally amazing.

On the day of the race, we traveled two hours before the race started and still, we got there just on time. I could hear the F1 engines roaring and as we rushed towards the grandstand, we stopped to buy a tin of coke which cost RM5.00 and whoosh...the race started. Damn! I missed the beginning. We managed to secure two seats at the Citrine area. The view was spectacular! We could see the last part of the track clearly. There was just one or two incidences with the crazy drunk people at the top deck spilling beer and dropping cans on our heads like idiotic moron but my incredible hero went upstairs to tell them off! I don't know why they have to drink beer at an F1 race especially if they don't even know how to behave themselves! 

Anyway, morons aside...there were some blood rushing moments when Hamilton passed Vettel and Vettel passed Hamilton...but in the end, was slightly disappointed that Hamilton got second. I started off as a Benetton fan many years ago and then switched to Ferrari when Schumacher joined the team in 1996. I left F1 after Schumacher retired in 2006 and completely lost touch with the sports until recently when life turned a new leaf. Now, I have no strong connection with a particular team but just watching the F1 cars go past at such speed...I can't explain it. I am speechless! It was simply amazing!

The tickets were incredibly expensive and parking was NOT included. We paid RM100 for two days unlimited parking access which is near enough the Sepang F1 building. Also, Kravitz cancelled at the last minute which is utterly disappointing and I must point fingers at the organizers for that mishap! However, for once in a lifetime experience listening to the F1 engines and watching them whizz pass...accompanied by the best company, it was worth-it. 

Line up behind safety car

Mercedes

Exciting moments of the race

Ferrari wins! Crowd cheers as the winning teams go past!

Thick clouds gather after the F1 Sepang race

Helicopter hovering over F1 Sepang circuit

Dedicated to stay at home moms and working moms

I am playing stay at home mom at the moment (a few days of annual leave) and despite feeling absolutely shattered and also developing a sore throat from too much shouting, I feel great! I love it!

I have forgotten how nice it feels to pick up the children from school, prepare the food for them, help them with homework and to actually make sure the house runs like clockwork. Often women are subjected to criticism for working and accused of being "career minded" or neglecting the children. However, that is far from the truth. In today's very demanding and financially challenging world, most women are forced to work. Some are single parents, some have to supplement the income of the husband and some have husbands who don't work (for whatever reason). In majority of cases, women work because it is a necessity and given the choice, they would love to be a stay at home mom and look after the welfare of the children themselves.

Wish people would stop pointing fingers and make assumptions about working moms. It would be great if men are back to becoming "bread winners" and expected to provide primarily but that's not happening yet. InsyaAllah maybe as the Islamic understanding of the roles between men and women become clearer and that the responsibility of providing is handed back to our XY gender.

However, it is important to make the best of every situation and to enjoy whatever challenge is given to us. If you enjoy whatever you are meant to do, that is half of the work done. The other half is just the practicalities. So, here I am after a very long day just sipping tea and listening to the news, Alhamdulillah enjoying this moment.

To our stay at home moms who have taken the decision to run around like crazy all day. Well done! and to our working moms who despite loving their jobs, would still love to manage a bunch of screaming kids instead; well hang in there. You know why you're doing what you're doing. Whatever it is, do it with the intention to please Allah SWT and none of your efforts will be wasted insyaAllah!

Merdeka! 31st August Malaysians celebrate Independence day

31st August 1957 marked the day that Malaysia officially achieved independence day. Each year, on this day there is a celebration marked by a national parade; boasting all of this countries' achievements, culture and military might. I was involved in this celebration back in 1990 when Sri Aman Girls School along with Assunta Girls School and Taman Petaling were performing a Malay-Chinese-Indian traditional dance. We were in year 4 of secondary school and that must be the only time I attended the national parade live at Dataran Merdeka (Merdeka Square).


THE VIDEO OF MERDEKA


However, in celebrating this memory we must never separate the celebration from the actual event. My little daughter asked me in the car, she said "I don't understand what 'Merdeka' means?" So, I had to explain to my children and it was difficult explaining to them because it involved both parts of themselves. I told her that once this country was colonized by the British. Being half English, it was difficult for her to understand what that meant for her. Trying to explain to her what "colonization" meant was even harder as she is still so young. However, my older children understood it quite well.


History is made of factual things as well as the emotional aspects and points of view. I wanted my children to understand the facts; as well as to recognize that the points of view of history often depends on what we believe in. I didn't want them to start self-loathing nor to have negative feelings towards their English half. However, they needed to know the facts and be able to critically evaluate what it meant.


If one believed in Capitalism and the exploitation of wealth then one would view colonization as a good thing. However, if one believed in humanity and are against exploitation then colonization would be bad as it meant exploiting another nation, extracting its wealth, 'enslavement' of the people either physically or mentally and often retarding them.


So, I gave them the facts. This part of the world have always been prosperous. It was laden by spices, tin, fertile land that was good for rubber and palm oil plantation. On top of that at one time, Malacca was a very popular trading port. Due to its resources and strategic position, it became a sought after place by emerging powerful Capitalist nations. The people in the Malay peninsular have embraced Islam and although (correct me if I'm wrong), it was never truly under direct Ottoman rule but it had strong links with the Ottoman Empire and was under its protection.


The first Western Capitalist nation to occupy Malacca was the Portugese followed by the Dutch and finally British who managed to secure the whole of Malaysian peninsula in 1824. After more than a hundred years of British rule, Malaysia finally achieved independence and the people finally had their country back.


However, the British did not leave us empty handed. They gave us two things that were to shape our minds and system. It was a gift that would ensure that we would never truly be independent, at least not in the way we think...

The two gifts were:
1. Nationalism
2. Secular system

Nationalism was to ensure that we will forever be trapped within our own borders. The concept of a borderless nation or to form unity for the Muslim ummah became a far-fetched idea. The once great empire of the Muslims starting from the time the Prophet Muhammad SAW sent his army on expeditions to Syria, which was then under the Roman Empire and Persia until Islam spread to 2/3rds of the world became awesome stories in history books. Nationalism ensured that we will never rise again as one ummah and any attempt to break those borders will be met with fighting and resistance.

Don't get me wrong....I'm not saying we should open our borders for attack or to allow infiltration of our borders by negative elements. I am talking about the imprisonment of the mind...

Let's say for argument sake the Khilafah, a true Islamic state were to be re-established tomorrow. Would we be ready to give up our borders and be part of this state? To give our bay'ah to the Caliph (Khalifah)? Don't answer it yet...just think about it!



The other gift is secularism....or more specifically a secular system with secular laws i.e. laws that are man-made enshrined within the constitution. A law that states Islam as the official religion and that is as far as it goes...but when it comes to making laws; the reference is not Qur'an and Sunnah. Essentially that is what secularism is...religion is fine as long as it stays personal or a logo or a symbol but never to be used as something to solve daily problems, political problems, economic problems, social problems, foreign policy, judiciary or anything that involves governing the people.

There is no point in pointing fingers or accusing the people in the past for what has happened today. History is a lesson for us to be better in the future. It is however good to recognize that the secular system has been embedded so deeply within this country that any attempt to replace it is met with such strong resistance sometimes by the Muslims themselves. There have been attempts to bring more shariah laws within this country by various groups but it is often still trapped within the secular framework.


I'm not claiming to be an expert nor do I have all the answers but I do know ONE THING...which is what I am pointing out here, we may be physically independent. Theoretically we are in charge of this country...theoretically we seem to be able to determine the future of this country but in our minds are we truly independent? For the Muslims let us ponder...are we truly independent from our colonial past? Can we really fulfil our roles and function as the one who was created to worship Allah SWT alone, in our daily life, rituals as well as our public life and how we govern our nation?

It is a joyous moment to hear the words of our respected Bapa Kemerdekaan Tunku Abdul Rahman [CLICK HERE] when he shouted "Merdeka" back in 1957 and I can't imagine how it must have felt for the people at the time...but as we celebrate this event each year, let's question ourselves...how truly independent are we?

Celebrating Eid Malaysian style

Can't believe it is almost a month after Ramadhan. Was so looking forward to it and now, it's gone and was so looking forward to Eid and now, it has also come to pass. Eid celebration in Malaysia is for a month...it is not sunnah of course since Eid-ul Fitri is only for one day. However, Malaysians love food and eating. We have this thing called 'open house' and I supposed once upon a time, when Malays lived in the village...open house would literally mean that you open your house for anyone to come and eat. However, nowadays open house is an invitation only.

Since Eid which was on the 8th August 2013, we have been attending open houses every weekend. Often there are 2 or 3 invitations in a day; sometimes more. It is during these open houses that we tend to meet people we haven't seen in the last year or sometimes for several years. You know old school mates and distant cousins; it is a great time for silatur Rahm with family members and also a good time to catch up and re-connect with old friends.

This is something I totally love about Malaysia. It is a very sociable country. Eid in UK was very different for me. There were times when I barely celebrated Eid as I was on-call or working at the hospital. However, as I developed close friendships with some of the Muslims in Britain; especially those who didn't have any family members...we formed our own tradition. There was a group of us who would gather for breakfast on Eid day and spend the day together. Later on...we even had a Eid night gathering starting from just before Maghrib. I remembered once me and the sisters were laughing so much that we said, it had to be Eid because the Syaitan must have been released from their prisons.

So, I had some good memories of Eid in the UK but I guess nothing could beat spending Eid with family. All the kids running around and eating the special Eid food of ketupat, rendang...well my mom's specialty is actually asam pedas and sambal goreng pengantin (Singaporean dish). On the night of Eid, we would pray Maghrib together, read the Takbeer, have a feast and kids would play fireworks. We spread mattresses on the floor so the kids can just fall asleep when they get tired.

Eid is a beautiful time but it is also a sad time knowing that Ramadhan has left us...at least for another year. I miss Ramadhan and soon Syawal too will come to pass...but we have Hajj to look forward to and then Awal Muharram and Asyura and before we know it, Ramadhan will reappear. There's so much to do within that time, so much to maintain, so much to improve...so many problems in the Muslim world that needs to be resolved.

Every year, we hope for a better Ramadhan...for the Muslims to start fasting on the same day. For the wars to end...for peace...for Muslims to unite...for Khilafah to be re-established. Maybe next year...insyaAllah.

Chicken pox and the kids

Two weeks ago my 6-year old daughter developed Chicken pox or Varicella Zoster. She was fine the day before, I took her shopping and noticed a few pimply spots on her nose. The next day she woke up with spots all over...circular red spots or known medically as 'maculo-papular'.

I recognised instantly that it has to be chicken pox but with no pre-spot symptoms or what we doctors call 'prodromal symptoms' such as fever, headache, lethargy, nausea or vomiting...I was still in denial. I took her to the GP and she confirmed it was chicken pox.

She gave her some liquid Aciclovir and also, a cream to put on her spots. The dose of oral Aciclovir is five times a day so, you have to give it to the child every 4-5 hours. There are lots of debate about the efficacy of Aciclovir. Most say that it only works if given early at least within 72 hours of contracting Chicken pox.

Chicken pox starts with a kind of small pimply rash, red in colour which turns into a larger red raised rash all over the body. It also becomes blisters.

I found out that she picked it up at nursery from one of the other children. The best time to get chicken pox is actually during pre-school age. The symptoms are mild although the spots look horrendous but their young rejuvenated skin will soon heal without much scarring inshaAllah provided they do not scratch.

The most infectious period is actually 2-3 days prior to the rash appearing and also during the period of blistering. Once the rash is totally crusted over and is dry, it is no longer infectious. So, the infectious period from appearance of first rash is usually around 10 days.

After 4-5 days the blisters start to crust over and looks sort of blackish. During this period, there is a mixture of rashes, blisters, red spots and those crusted over...

The rash is very itchy so, doctors usually recommend parents to put on some calamine lotion to soothe the child. It is best to dab the child with the lotion rather than to rub it on. Calamine doesn't really help to heal the rash but it does keep the skin cool. The child may also benefit from some anti-histamine medication such as Piriton (not recommended in children under 1 years old) for its anti-pruritic (anti-itching) properties. It is also slightly sedative and will help the child to sleep.

I was fortunate that I had chicken pox when I was younger because the older you are the worse symptoms you get. As I said, my daughter was laughing, jumping, smiling, playing, screaming happily all throughout the chicken pox period. You wouldn't imagine that she was ill at all...

Chicken pox is one of those illness that gives you life long immunity. Once you get it, you should not get it again. Some people claim that they develop chicken pox a second time, that could either be due to previous misdiagnosis. It is easy to misdiagnose chicken pox as there are so many other types of viruses that can give you post-fever rash (known simply as viral rash) or if it is true that one has chicken pox twice, that person is just truly UNLUCKY...what can I say? They are one of the unlucky ones out of thousands and millions who only get it once.

Oh! the other thing is...people do get mixed up between Chicken pox and Shingles. Chicken pox is when you get it the first time after being exposed to another person with CP. Shingles is when your old Chicken pox gets reactivated usually in a particular localised area without you being exposed to anyone else with Chicken pox. 

Anyway, just two days before Eid-ul Fitri, all my other kids developed those same red spots and blisters. The incubation period meaning the time from which you are exposed to someone with chicken pox and you developing symptoms is somewhere between 10-14 days. So, another misconception is that people believe if you are exposed to someone with CP today, tomorrow you will develop the spots!Duh!!!

As expected my eldest had the worst symptoms, fever, joint ache, headache and just feeling totally crappy! This time I was ready though, I have kept a supply of Aciclovir and as soon as we saw the spots, I gave her the medication. My youngest is covered with spots but he's laughing, playing, jumping around as usual. So, my advice to parents is...if possible get your kids to have chicken pox when they are preschoolers somewhere between 4-7 years old. You would be doing them a favour. That is why in some cultures, they have chicken pox parties just to get it out of the way.

On top of that, you can't run away from chicken pox. If you missed it as a child, you are most likely to develop it as an adult especially when you have kids of your own...they go to nursery and pick it up from somewhere, you too will pick it up from them.

Once healed the Chickn pox will be dried and totally crusted over...it is very important NOT to pick on the crust and allow the crust to shed itself. This is to avoid any scarring. Once, the crush is shed, new skin has been formed underneath and the rash will heal nicely inshaAllah.

As for me, we manage to spend a day of Eid-ul Fitri with family and I am glad that now they have all had chicken pox. There is blessing in everything and we just have to be grateful, have Tawakkal that everything happens for the best. Alhamdulillah

First day of Ramadhan 1433H

Ramadhan 1433H

Today is the first day of fasting. We are fortunate this year that fasting started on a Saturday, a holiday and so, it has been a gentle introduction to this very rewarding month.

So, it has been the usual Saturday activities except no extra school for the kids. Going to the wet market (pasar tani), shopping at the supermarket, washing the car, having a long nap, the kids being entertained by their dad, cooking for breaking fast and lying down relaxing again. It has been a very relaxing day of fasting; of course not to forget recitation of the Qur'an. It is an annual thing for every Muslim to try and complete recitation of the entire Qur'an during this month.

This is my 3rd Ramadhan in Malaysia. I know the time of fasting is getting longer and longer in the UK. My friends told me that they have iftar at 3.40am and break their fast at 9.40pm. That is a long...time SubhanAllah. How fortunate are we that the duration for fasting in this part of the world doesn't change much. It is always from around 5.40am until 7.30pm.

I feel light this Ramadhan, I'm not talking about physical weight but I feel like a burden have been lifted off my shoulders. I feel free.... I feel my head is clear. I feel happy and excited to have the opportunity to experience this blessed month without guilt or disturbance.

Half an hour to go before the time for Iftaar (breaking fast). The Prophet SAW is so right when he said Narrated Abu Huraira: Allah's Apostle said, "Allah said, 'All the deeds of Adam's sons (people) are for them, except fasting which is for Me, and I will give the reward for it.' Fasting is a shield or protection from the fire and from committing sins. If one of you is fasting, he should avoid sexual relation with his wife and quarreling, and if somebody should fight or quarrel with him, he should say, 'I am fasting.' By Him in Whose Hands my soul is' The unpleasant smell coming out from the mouth of a fasting person is better in the sight of Allah than the smell of musk. There are two pleasures for the fasting person, one at the time of breaking his fast, and the other at the time when he will meet his Lord; then he will be pleased because of his fasting." 

Definitely, the most pleasurable moment for a fasting person is when he/she breaks his fast. I'm looking forward to breaking my fast soon...but I love you, Ramadhan.

New home and honoring parents

Hubby came to join us in Malaysia and the kids were so happy to have their daddy again. I was happy that there was someone else they could annoy:)

On the 25th January I went with mom, dad, Fajar, my brother and his wife to Singapore for my cousin, Khadijah's wedding. Throughout my 17 years in UK, I have missed so many family weddings. It is such a painful thing but finally, Allah gave me the opportunity to go to my cousin's wedding and it was such a lovely, lovely feeling: to meet all of my cousins, aunties and uncles. SubhanAllah! this was truly an experience for me.

So many of my dreams are fulfilled, hubby's here, kids are now enrolled in school and time to enter into our next phase of this 'hijrah' - moving to our new home.

I felt like I was leaving the nest again. After 17 years being away from 'home', from living with mom and dad...I wasn't ready to let go. I needed more time. In some ways, it was exciting and a relief to be able to organise my own home again but in other ways, I didn't want to leave. It felt too soon...just when I got mom and dad again.

It is so hard to explain how much I miss my parents and my sister. I missed them when I was in the UK but now, having them around me all the time and then, not being able to just knock on their door to have a chat just makes me miss them even more. When you don't know something or not have something, you won't miss it much. You might just imagine it. However, when you have experienced it and when it is reality - then, it is no longer there you really understand how much it means to you. I hope this makes sense.

I guess it is a bit like...when we think about daulah Islamiyah (Khilafah) because we have never experienced it, we can just imagine and wonder and think how it was or how it will be but once we've experienced it (insyaAllah) we wouldn't want to let go..ever...

The first few weeks at our new home was very difficult for me. I missed my mom and sister very much. You know parents may say things that annoy or irritate us sometimes, they get very worried, panicking and give unsolicited advice but none of that matters because they love you and they care about you more than anyone else in this world. Sometimes we think we know better but truth is only Allah knows everything so, listen to your parents even if you think you're right and they are wrong; (of course as long as it is in mubah issues and NOT to do with haraam things. If they ask you to do haraam/forbidden things then you MUST disobey them because our first obedience is to Allah and His Messenger)

Anyway, just talking about mubah things ONLY. Don't argue with your parents even if they say things that seem 'unislamic', take time to talk to them in a nice way. Choose the right time to correct them with love and hikmah like over a cup of tea, whilst sitting on a swing and bring your evidences from Qur'an and Sunnah. Never talk to them in a derogatory matter, never chastise them and do not raise your voice over them. Always make dua for your parents that they will receive the guidance from Allah. Hug them and tell them you love them. Read Qur'an in front of them and pray behind them to make their hearts cool. Parents with Iman will be most happy to see their child worshipping Allah.

Parents are incredible people; their dua is accepted, their touch is healing and their love is comfort.

Al-Qur'an surah Al-Isra':23-24 "And your Lord has decreed that you worship none but Him. And that you be dutiful to your parents. If one of them or both of them attain old age say not to them a word of disrespect, nor shout at them but address them in terms of honour. And lower to them the wing of submission and humility through mercy and say "My Lord! Bestow on them Your Mercy as they did bring me up when I was young."

Al-Qur'an surah Al-Ankabut: 8 "And we have enjoined on man to be good and dutiful to his parents; but if they strive to make you join with Me (in worship) anything of which you have no knowledge, they Obey them NOT. To Me is your return and I shall tell you what you used to do."

So, treat them with kindness, love and respect; listen to them in matters that are mubah but never obey them in anything haraam/forbidden or if they stop you from worshipping Allah.

I'm only saying all this because after being away from my parents for 17 years and now, knowing them again and spending time with them again. I can truly see what it means and I can truly appreciate what it means to have parents. I am so grateful to Allah to give me this opportunity to experience having my parents again and May Allah give them taufiq, hidayah and make them one of the righteous and admit them into Jannatul Firdaus. Ameen.

PS: For those of you who have lost one or both parents, it is still okay. You can make dua for your Muslim parents for forgiveness from Allah and reward.

Picture above: Swimming pool at new apartment

A typical day in Malaysia

One of the best things about living near the Equator is the same length of day and night each day. Hence, routine is very easy especially when one has to pray 5 times a day. It is very convenient.

So, life generally starts at Fajr time which is around 6 o'clock in the morning. Most people wake up at this time to pray and get ready for work/school. I can almost imagine hearing the sounds of cockerels. Today, I was one of those who stayed up after Fajr cause I'm embarassed to say...after 3 weeks I was still suffering from jet-lag. Anyway, I went with dad to visit MMC again. The journey there and back took about 2 hours. Then, I went out again with Mak and Dad to the bank and to do other chores. Then, went out again with Mak and the kids shopping. We came home around 3pm.

Whilst the kids were watching TV, I fell asleep (yup! jet-lag) and woke up around 4.30pm just in time to pray Asr. We had our tea-time (very important meal of the day) and normally this is the time to visit friends or receive guest but not today. Instead, read Qur'an with the kids and we read until Maghrib time.

After Maghrib is dinner and few more chats and stuff before going to bed. I just feel like I get so much done during the day. It is like there is a lot of Baraqah in time here....like it's always filled with something; Maybe it is just a feeling, after all how do you scientifically study such a phenomenon but I believe there is more Baraqah of time in Muslim lands. Although these lands do not implement Islam comprehensively but there is still more Baraqah, more time for silatur-Rahm, meeting and chatting with people, for ibaadah, for just being out there in the midst of life itself. I must say I barely spend more than half an hour tidying up the house everyday, thanks to tiled flooring therefore, no hoovering. Also, I'm not too bothered about the spider webs on the ceiling because spiders are actually my friends here (house spiders that is, not the poisonous kind), they eat up all the mosquitoes. Believe me! if you get 40 mosquito bites a day, you will be happy to have spiders around instead.

You know in the UK, I used to spend so much time just tidying up the house, picking up kids toys and hoovering? Well...not here. A lot of time is spent outside the house rather than inside the house. It's not about someone working or not working, being a housewife or not; it is just a different way of living, that's all.

Kids being ill during the early days in Malaysia

19 December 2009

The kids have been unwell for a week especially Luqman, who developed a high temperature and lost his appetite. He is now on Antibiotics and he has become my hot water bottle at night cause he needs to be cuddled to sleep. Since arrival, the kids have not ate well despite the abundance of food and choice. It is an appetite problem. I tried to make them their favourite meals including baked potatoes and cheese, nasi lemak, briyani, tuna sandwich but they only eat a little.

I think it must be the heat. All they want to do is to drink and drink...which is good I guess.

Anyway, this lack of appetite though only lasted for 3-4 weeks Alhamdulillah then, they are back to their old self. Malik however, my son who never had an appetite in the first place lost a lot of weight and it was very scary to see him all skins and bones. Finally, his appetite too improved.

The joys of Malaysia: food and family

12th December 2009

Went out with Kakak (my sister) and the four kids today and had some ice-cream and ayam goreng at Kedai Mamak, which is what Malaysians call Indian Muslims. Kedai Mamak is very famous here. Everyone loves going to Kedai Mamak because it is a Muslim restaurant, the food is great like roti canai, briyani, rice and whatever kuah (gravy) you want, and lots of tasty drinks like fruit juices, teh-O-ice (my favourite) and it is cheaper and tastier than going to other restaurants like McDonalds or KFC. Ahh...the choice of food in Malaysia.

The kids had ice-cream and my sister and I shared an ABC (air batu campur) or iced mixed as it is translated. It is a Malaysian specialty made from grated ice with syrup and all sort of stuff like jelly, Ahh...the food in Malaysia is like heaven, Alhamdulillah. I will live in Malaysia and forget about the UK just for the food.

Hadiya was saying how she missed home and she wanted to go back to her old home. I couldn't understand how she would miss that tiny little house we lived in at 213 Bensham Lane. It was a little house with a tiny little lounge and dining area, a small tiny kitchen that only one person can ever be in at any one time and two upstairs bedroom. Now we are at Malaysia at my mom's detached house. Even the room we're staying in is like twice the size of our old lounge. There is like 3 lounges and a large garden. Yet, she wants to go home....I felt a little sad because I knew that there was no home any more. I couldn't take her 'home' even if I wanted to....this is our home now.

I was rather amazed at how the kids have adapted so quickly to the weather. They don't seem bothered about the heat although we did spend quite a bit of time in the library where the air-condition was. The one thing that really frustrated me was their nyamuk bites; we were practically mosquito food. Every morning we would wake up to every inch of our legs, arms even face covered with bites. I made sure the kids had their long sleeve pyjamas on and put mosquito repellant on their faces. Things did get better after a few weeks.

The main thing for me was not missing the UK but the fear of new environment. It was about being taken out of my comfort zone. I can understand how a fish feels. When we bought our fish back in the UK, we were told to introduce the fish gently into its new environment, not to put the fish in the aquarium immediately. Now, I understand why...even if the aquarium is the most beautifully designed and decorated in the world, it is still a new environment, the fish is being taken out of its comfort zone into somewhere it is uncertain about. Okay, this is sounding weird as if I would know how a fish feels. I'm talking about me...I felt out of my comfort zone even if my previous life was not perfect. Now, I have family, a nice place to live etc....and it felt pretty scary. It would have been easier to just carry on with life the way it was....even though I wasn't very happy with it.

The other new thing for me was family life. In the UK, it was me, hubby and the kids; occasional encounters with hubby's family. Here, I was with my family all the time. I was living with mom and dad, and sister and nephew. Family life means there will be conflicts, disagreement, dissatisfaction but there is also helping out, sharing, talking, expressing emotions, support, love and all sorts of beautiful experiences. It is important to accept people for what they are, taking criticisms at face value especially from parents. More than anything, they criticize out of love. The alternative to that would be isolation, individualism that only leads to loneliness, lack of self-confidence and self-esteem.

It feels so nice to be amongst people, to live with others. I am never alone and I can do whatever I want and still leave that work and have a chat with someone. Things are done together like someone would put the washing machine on, someone else will hang up the clothes and another person will take it down and fold it. That is the joy of living with family, in a community, something I believe has long been lost in the UK....individualism and 'freedom' has taken away the joy of living together and being part of each others lives.

Above: picture of my two goldfish in UK

First impressions

I'm not going to say much about the plane journey as it felt such a long time ago. I think it is adequate to say that traveling with four children on an aeroplane for 13 hours is pretty challenging. Nevertheless we got there in one piece despite the screaming...yup! my two year old was pretty frustrated after a whole day of no sleep, the excitement of going to the airport and getting on the plane at midnight, being served dinner at 1am and he's finally had enough! He wants his sleep...so, he started screaming and kicking and rolling on the floor until after what felt like eternity, he collapsed into a deep coma. All the other passengers heaved a sigh of relief but unfortunately, another passenger's baby started to scream but it didn't bother me, I was just glad I wasn't alone. One down three to go. Alhamdulillah my two older ones were occupied by their movie set and fell asleep later whilst my little 3 and half year old too managed to go to sleep. It was smooth sailing thereafter until it was time to land; the turbulence made us all felt sick; we had our seatbelts on and I looked across to my son, who was pale green. He said, "Mommy, I feel sick" and before anyone could do anything, he threw up on the aisle. "I'm glad there is no plane journey back, I'm glad this is just one way." I thought to myself.

The first real difference I noticed as soon as I stepped out of the plane was the atmosphere. I'm not talking about the weather which was pretty obvious but it was the atmosphere of relaxation. People were busy rushing about to get to their destination but in a more relaxed manner. There wasn't the need or urge to push past people, as though one is more important than everyone else. I could observe my surrounding and appreciate the things that are happening around me. I'm not 'blinkered' by my own life, my own individuality, like I do not need to acknowledge the presence of others. Over here, it felt like they were a part of my life and I was a part of their lives, that we shared a common space.

I could appreciate a parent consoling her crying child or a group of tourist looking around admiring what they saw or families hugging one another after such long departures. It felt good to be a part of the world.

I guess the important thing is to realise that each society will have its own norms and cultures. There is always good and bad, pros and cons. I see good things here as well as bad things but it is never good to keep comparing. For e.g. queuing is a British culture but it is not so important to queue in Malaysia; it is important to know when is your turn and give the person before you their turn. or keeping in lane is an important driving skill in Britain but not so here; but there's not much road rage cause everyone is more concerned about getting to destination in one piece. Cars and motorbikes will cut you up from right and left but it doesn't matter, there is no ego or pride. The atmosphere is definitely more relaxed....