New home and honoring parents

Hubby came to join us in Malaysia and the kids were so happy to have their daddy again. I was happy that there was someone else they could annoy:)

On the 25th January I went with mom, dad, Fajar, my brother and his wife to Singapore for my cousin, Khadijah's wedding. Throughout my 17 years in UK, I have missed so many family weddings. It is such a painful thing but finally, Allah gave me the opportunity to go to my cousin's wedding and it was such a lovely, lovely feeling: to meet all of my cousins, aunties and uncles. SubhanAllah! this was truly an experience for me.

So many of my dreams are fulfilled, hubby's here, kids are now enrolled in school and time to enter into our next phase of this 'hijrah' - moving to our new home.

I felt like I was leaving the nest again. After 17 years being away from 'home', from living with mom and dad...I wasn't ready to let go. I needed more time. In some ways, it was exciting and a relief to be able to organise my own home again but in other ways, I didn't want to leave. It felt too soon...just when I got mom and dad again.

It is so hard to explain how much I miss my parents and my sister. I missed them when I was in the UK but now, having them around me all the time and then, not being able to just knock on their door to have a chat just makes me miss them even more. When you don't know something or not have something, you won't miss it much. You might just imagine it. However, when you have experienced it and when it is reality - then, it is no longer there you really understand how much it means to you. I hope this makes sense.

I guess it is a bit like...when we think about daulah Islamiyah (Khilafah) because we have never experienced it, we can just imagine and wonder and think how it was or how it will be but once we've experienced it (insyaAllah) we wouldn't want to let go..ever...

The first few weeks at our new home was very difficult for me. I missed my mom and sister very much. You know parents may say things that annoy or irritate us sometimes, they get very worried, panicking and give unsolicited advice but none of that matters because they love you and they care about you more than anyone else in this world. Sometimes we think we know better but truth is only Allah knows everything so, listen to your parents even if you think you're right and they are wrong; (of course as long as it is in mubah issues and NOT to do with haraam things. If they ask you to do haraam/forbidden things then you MUST disobey them because our first obedience is to Allah and His Messenger)

Anyway, just talking about mubah things ONLY. Don't argue with your parents even if they say things that seem 'unislamic', take time to talk to them in a nice way. Choose the right time to correct them with love and hikmah like over a cup of tea, whilst sitting on a swing and bring your evidences from Qur'an and Sunnah. Never talk to them in a derogatory matter, never chastise them and do not raise your voice over them. Always make dua for your parents that they will receive the guidance from Allah. Hug them and tell them you love them. Read Qur'an in front of them and pray behind them to make their hearts cool. Parents with Iman will be most happy to see their child worshipping Allah.

Parents are incredible people; their dua is accepted, their touch is healing and their love is comfort.

Al-Qur'an surah Al-Isra':23-24 "And your Lord has decreed that you worship none but Him. And that you be dutiful to your parents. If one of them or both of them attain old age say not to them a word of disrespect, nor shout at them but address them in terms of honour. And lower to them the wing of submission and humility through mercy and say "My Lord! Bestow on them Your Mercy as they did bring me up when I was young."

Al-Qur'an surah Al-Ankabut: 8 "And we have enjoined on man to be good and dutiful to his parents; but if they strive to make you join with Me (in worship) anything of which you have no knowledge, they Obey them NOT. To Me is your return and I shall tell you what you used to do."

So, treat them with kindness, love and respect; listen to them in matters that are mubah but never obey them in anything haraam/forbidden or if they stop you from worshipping Allah.

I'm only saying all this because after being away from my parents for 17 years and now, knowing them again and spending time with them again. I can truly see what it means and I can truly appreciate what it means to have parents. I am so grateful to Allah to give me this opportunity to experience having my parents again and May Allah give them taufiq, hidayah and make them one of the righteous and admit them into Jannatul Firdaus. Ameen.

PS: For those of you who have lost one or both parents, it is still okay. You can make dua for your Muslim parents for forgiveness from Allah and reward.

Picture above: Swimming pool at new apartment