Have patience and do not regret...

The thing I missed most about being stuck at Kampung Gajah is the ability to appreciate time. When I was there, I was counting the days. Now, being back into the 'real' world, life is simply a cycle of 24 hours with no clear day to day distinctions.

We don't plan our lives. We often take things for granted especially when we're young, we don't think about the consequences of our actions. We never think about the day to day processes or the system that governs us. We never think about how our little decisions will affect the rest of our lives or how the system defines our future.

We all have certain goals, things we want to achieve and many of these goals are short terms such as passing a particular exams, getting a particular job, getting married and yet, all these decisions are based on uncertainty and we can only make our decision based on what knowledge we have at the time.

This is the limitations of human beings. We can never foresee everything. We can never have the all encompassing knowledge of what is past, present and future that only Allah SWT, the Creator has. Even the present sometimes remain unclear but life has to move on and we need to make decisions daily, sometimes at a split second.

Alhamdulillah the Creator has given us a guidance, the Qur'an and He has given us the 'istiharah' and sometimes if we think that we have lost our way, we wonder "why this happened?" or "why did I make that decision?" or "why did this happen to me?" We have to go back to where we started and know that if we have made that decision based on Ahkam Shariah and that we have prayed the 'istiharah' then, we have to persevere and put our Tawakkal in Allah because we have not yet reached the end of the road and Allah knows what is in store for us and what is best.

Too often human beings are impatient, seeking for immediate gratification but we forget that patience and perseverance is the key to success in this world and the next. We need to focus on that clear goal right at the end which is further away from the immediate goals...the clear goal of Akhirah in order for us to see things clearly and set our little goals in this life. It is not easy but it is the only right way.

Day 11 Kg Gajah: No more Kampung Gajah

Today I escaped from eVillage, as they call it Elephant Village (Kampung Gajah). Through out my stay there, I did not see any elephants but we came across a snake, few frogs, lots of mosquitoes and even a bee hive.

I am exhausted after 11 days of didactic lectures and sleeping late last night studying for today's exams. I slept all the way home on the bus. The whole 11 days were an experience but I will not miss it and hope that I will never have to go through anything similar ever again in my entire life. No offense to Kampung Gajah, it was a beautiful place.

However, it is always important to take the positive view of the world so, I am glad that I have a better understanding of Dasar Ekonomi Baru (DEB), Dasar Pembangunan Nasional (DPN), Perolehan Awam, Pengurusan aset kerajaan etc...etc...and it so happens that we are having our Perolehan meeting on Tuesday, so I will surely show off my knowledge with clauses and legalities.

I'm tired and lost for words...for the first time in my life, I am unable to express my true inner feelings and what I'm really thinking. Maybe things will start to make more sense tomorrow...

Day 8 Kg Gajah: tired...mental saturation

After 8 days of non-stop didactic lectures from 8am until 7pm...I have reached mental saturation. Today we discussed about "vision 2020" which is to make Malaysia a developed nation by the year 2020.

In paper, it sounds like a reasonable plan. However, I asked this question to the lecturer with regards to the challenge of the just distribution of wealth to the population. I said "The world today is implementing the Capitalist economic system. We know that the Capitalist economic system is about profit making, obtaining wealth for one's own benefit. Even if we look at developed nations like the UK the quotes that we often hear about the inequality between the rich and the poor is that 90% of wealth is in the hands of 10% of the population so, how do we propose to achieve a just distribution of wealth if we are also following the Capitalist economic model?"

Unfortunately, I did not get any answer.

Let me just answer myself.

Firstly, if we were to follow the Capitalist economic model we will never achieve a just and equitable balance of wealth in society because of the nature of Capitalism. It is as though we are trying to make "sambal tumis" whilst using the cooking ingredient and method of making a "rendang". We will not be successful in making "sambal tumis" and who knows, we might not even be successful in making "rendang" because our intention was not to make "rendang". So, there you go!

Actually, some of the policy ideas are brilliant ideas thought of by a brilliant man. However, there are two issues:

1. The objective is unclear. To achieve a status of a developed nation we need to have a clear IDEOLOGICAL objective. Ideology means a system of life that is based on a concrete basis that has answered the fundamental questions in life such as why we are here? So, do we wish to become a developed Capitalist nation or do we wish to become a developed Islamic nation? or are we thinking that we can come up with a new formula of a developed 'rojak' nation?


2. In paper, the policies and vision sounds great but in reality are we able to translate the theory into practice? Our education system and our culture is geared towards theoretical e.g. I was waiting at my son's school to pick him up and I had the opportunity to listen to his ustazah teaching the class. She was talking about the importance of solat...a very important topic. However, as she was chatting away information these year 2 pupils all about the importance of solat, a little boy said "but teacher, we haven't prayed Asr". What did the teacher do? Nothing...she carried on talking about the importance of solat. To me, it would've been better if she stopped yelping about the importance of solat and just took the children to the prayer room and asked them to pray.


This is what I mean, the emphasis on theory but not putting the theory into practice. I'm not blaming that one teacher because she is not an isolated case. It is the culture and mentality of the people AND that needs to change. We need to develop the clear thinking and the clear objective and then, to be able to take the necessary steps and actions to translate that thinking and objective into reality.

Still day 7 Kg Gajah: still making the best out of it.

Played table tennis today after 15 years! It was fun Alhamdulillah.

The best thing about Kg Gajah is that I have nothing else to do here, no distractions and so, can focus on getting some exercise.

I'm supposed to be studying tonight for the exams but...I'm procrastinating. Hopefully, my daughter won't read this blog or it would be a bad example cause I'm always telling her to study and revise for her exams.

Hmm...instead I'm blogging.

I'm feeling okay now probably because I'm seeing the light at the end of the tunnel...the light is approaching fast, time is moving quickly and soon it will be time to go home. Hope is a powerful thing to keep us going as human beings. Without hope, we are lost forever.

It is hard to imagine those people who are detained without charge such as those in Guantanamo Bay, and even some in the custody of US or UK such as Babar Ahmad. They must have such strength to remain sane and to keep having that hope and reliance in Allah SWT. I guess...there is always hope as long as we believe in Allah and know that this life is only a passing moment. May Allah help this Ummah, give them strength and patience and may the Khilafah be re-established soon. Ameen.

Day 7 Kg Gajah: making the best out of it.

The lecturer today was very funny. He digressed a lot but his stories were interesting and funny. He  had a nice Kedah accent. I like Malay guys from Kedah. They are often straight forward and chilled out. He was also giving us good advice such as the need to have a purpose in life.

In fact, I was just thinking about it last night. How the Muslims today have lost their true purpose in life. We live in this world and we need to know why we are here? where we come from? who created us and why? If we look at the Capitalist, they believe that they are here to make profit, to increase their wealth. They will go all out and strive to achieve that goal. Some will do it the ethical way and some will do it the non-ethical way but whatever the case, they will strive for this wealth. For those who choose to do it the non-ethical way, you will not find them stealing RM10 or RM100; they will go all out for millions of ringgit.

However, if you look at the Muslims today. There are many who have not even sorted out the fundamental question of what is their purpose in life. They are torn between the Deen (hereafter) and this life (Dunya) and in the end, do they achieve either?

Allah swt says in surah 17: 18 - 21 "Whoever desires the quick - passing of this world. We readily grant him what We will for whom We like. Then, after wards, We have appointed for him Hell; he will burn therein in disgraced and rejected. And whoever desires the Hereafter and strives for it, with the necessary efforts then such are the ones whose striving shall be appreciated. On each We bestow from the Bounties of your Lord and the Bounties of your Lord can never be forbidden."

So, this amazing Qur'an explains to us the reality of this life and the desires of mankind as well as the rewards that we will achieve in accordance to our desires. For the one who desires this world, Allah will give it to him. After all, the whole universe belongs to Allah and He will give it to anyone of his slaves regardless of whether they are Muslim or not; but those who desire this world will only get this world, they will get nothing in the hereafter. As for the one who desires the hereafter...and strives in proportion for it, they will achieve that which they strive for which is the rewards of the hereafter.

To understand what is striving for the hereafter, we need a standard, a bench mark. Our standard is the Prophet (saw) and his sahabah for they are the ones promised Jannah. So, how did the sahabah strived for Jannah. Did they get torn between this world and the hereafter? or did they just went for it? Surely, we can see from history that they just went for it. They strove to fight for Allah's cause, they fought in battles, gave away their wealth and their positions and they worked to establish Islam as a complete system on this earth. So, for these people, Allah will reward them their efforts with the rewards in the hereafter.

However, in this life Allah will give His bounty to both parties and it is up to Allah to give more or less to whom He Wills.

Unfortunately, many Muslims are unaware of this and often gets confused. They often get defensive when the west accuse Islam of being 'extreme' and fundamental. However, Islam is fundamental and it is extremely DECISIVE. Decisive because you either believe in God or you don't, you either believe in the hereafter or you don't, you either obey Allah or you don't. There is no sitting on the fence and to have the slightest DOUBT in the existence of Allah or the Hereafter or any articles of faith (Rukun Iman) is a disease. This disease is called hypocrisy (nifaaq). So, the Islamic Aqeedah is decisive and when we are sure 100% that Allah is the One true God and we believe 100% that the Qur'an is from Allah, His words...then, we will witness all the truth contained in the Qur'an.

The problem with the Muslims today is that they still have doubt, the lack of confidence in some aspects of Islam. Why do I say this? It is evident by the way they doubt the implementation of the Shariah. They doubt the Islamic system, the Khilafah. They doubt that it will work, they doubt that it will solve their problems.

When people say..."The difference between the sahabah and the Muslims today is in their Iman". We need to question that statement. What does that mean? I would prefer to use a clear example, the sahabah believed that Islam will solve their problem and that the Islamic system is the best system because it comes from Allah so, they worked for it even though many surah and ayat in the Qur'an at the time has not yet been revealed. When they were in Makkah, they had no clue what the Islamic system was going to look like and yet, they believed in it. They had confidence that Islam will provide them a system that is comprehensive and will look after their issues.

Today, even with a history of the Islamic rule spanning from the time Madinah was established as an Islamic state by our Prophet (saw) and the Khilafah went through glorious periods during the Khulafa' ar Rashidin, the Umayyads, the Abbasids and the Uthmani...we have written records of scientific achievements and famous scholars...we have buildings in places like Granada, Baghdad, Syria and the completed Qur'an and volumes of Hadith...we still cannot have complete confidence and belief that Islam is the best system for mankind.

We worry about how the non-Muslims would accept the Islamic system, we worry about becoming a Taliban state or like Saudi Arabia where women can't drive...all the worries in the world but if we were to study those concerns, we will realize that these problems arise because there is no Islam being implemented anywhere in the world. If the Jews in Madinah can accept the rule of Islam and the leadership of Prophet Muhammad (saw) then, I have no doubt that the non-Muslims in Muslim lands will accept the rule of Islam especially when the rights of the Dhimmah (non-Muslim citizens of the state) is read to them.

The problem is not with the non-Muslims. The problem is with us and our understanding and confidence in our own Deen, in our Aqeedah, in our belief in Allah and the belief that Islam can solve all of our problems.

Day 6 Kg Gajah: Err...

Well the lectures today were quite interesting and informative. In general, my mental health is getting pretty stable and especially since the number of days I've been here has exceeded the number of days left. Time is a great healer.

However, things are getting pretty weird in terms of task and what my group has chosen to do. It is all a bit surreal and I feel as though I'm being secretly filmed for 'big brother' or something. It does feel like I'm back in school again and people are behaving rather childish. I mean not in a spoilt way but as in lame, trivial and you know...not how you'd expect mothers, fathers, lecturers, leaders of the future. So, that's all I'm going to say!

I was thinking about how my life was in the UK compared to here especially in terms of work and responsibilities. I suppose I was not a civil servant in the UK and so, had no direct contact with the British government and their policies as such. Being a doctor in the NHS, your role is simply as a doctor. I can't remember going to any courses that talked about how we need to behave as government servants although as part of our training in general practice, we had to discuss about ethics, morals, communication skills but it is more relevant to our work as doctors and how we should behave professionally.

Then, as a GP we barely had lectures about government policies even though we were the target of the NHS changes. The Department of Health (DOH) was always issuing new strategies on health including the white paper, clinical governance (which took me years to understand), and the government kept changing its policies on health, introducing commissioning and all sorts of things. However, it just never seemed so obvious and in your face. The implementation of policies in the UK just seems insidious.

Maybe in the UK, one is made to feel that they have more freedom and that their actions and decisions are not controlled by the government whereas here it just seems like "you must do this" and "you can't do that". Maybe, if we were to compare the two head to head, the outcome is the same that the government is still influencing and controlling people but just in different ways.

Either way, I do not take to people telling me what I can or cannot do but rather, it is only Allah swt who tells us what we can or cannot do.When Allah says "Obey Allah, obey the Messenger and those in authority amongst you". The obedience to the ruler is with the condition that the ruler obeys the rule of Allah and His messenger.

I simply do not like it when they say "...diharamkan" as if they have the authority to make things halal or haram.

Day 5 Kg Gajah: Acceptance and reconciliation

Today I went on the thread mill. If all fails, exercise will guarantee to lift one's spirits, release some serotonin into the system and after increasing my cardiac output, I felt better. I have accepted my fate and reconciled my frustrations.

All the activities are keeping me busy, keeping my mind off things but I'm still feeling weird. Right now, we are having a group meeting and they are discussing about what to perform for the dinner. I've volunteered myself as the medical person on call. I'm on the internet updating myself on events of the world. It is difficult to put things into context as we sit here, laughing and discussing trivial issues, there's protest happening in Syria and in other parts of the Middle East, there's wars and atrocities committed in other parts of the world and there are women like Dr Afia Siddiqui and others who are suffering in detentions for unjustifiable reasons.

Every night I go to sleep fearing that I will not wake up the next day. I do not fear death in itself as "death will come to us even if we were in the highest building" but I fear the meeting with my Lord for not having done anything to bring back Islam as a system. I live a comfortable life and my only trials are trivial annoyances.

Allah swt says in 2:214 "Or think you that you will enter Paradise without such (trials) as came to those who passed away before you? They were afflicted with severe poverty and ailments and were so shaken that even the Messenger and those who believed along with him said, ‘When (will come) the Help of Allah?’ Yes! Certainly, the Help of Allah is near!"

What is the definition of 'trials' and what standard should we compare our trials to? is it about not passing exams, not getting the perfect house, losing our mobile phone or should we compare the trials that the Prophet (saw) and his sahabah went through. They went through torture, persecution, defamation, discrimination, poverty, boycott and the threat of being killed for the sake of Islam. What were the things that they did that made them the target of Quraysh hatred and persecution? It was the carrying of the Islamic da'wah, to establish the Islamic system on this earth.

It is true that the believer will get rewarded for even the smallest of trials, even if he/she was to be pricked by a thorn he/she will be rewarded for the suffering and patience. However, we should consider what is it that Allah swt demands from us, using the Prophet (saw) and his sahabah as our standard.

It is so easy to forget these things especially when we are lulled by the entertainments, pleasures and facilities we have around us. May Allah swt protect us from negligence in carrying out our duties as Muslims. Amin

Day 4 at Kg Gajah: Angry tears

I have come to a final conclusion that I am no longer living in civilization. It is uncivilized to allow a mother to leave her children for 11 consecutive days just to attend a course.To allow such a practice is unethical. They talk to us about ethics, morals and integrity...but there is no integrity in this. Right now, I just feel like getting on some sort of a vehicle, get home, buy the cheapest tickets and go back to UK. I don't even know why I'm here.

On top of that some woman was talking to us about charity and started giving a story about some delinquent kids and her conclusion was...these kids are bad because the parent(s) do not come to work on time and leave early. I mean how shallow is that? It is all about punching in and punching out, I mean what about productivity? what about staying up all night after the kids are all in bed to prepare for lectures, to write articles or to write research proposals.

They blame parents when something goes wrong with the kids, well...why don't they blame the stupid system that forces parents to be away from their kids? After this, if anyone tries to blame parents again in front of me, they would be lucky if they escape only with a few of my sarcastic remarks. I will not accept anymore of their accusations of parents chasing after careers, leaving the children with maids or not punching in at the 'right' time. It is not the fault of parents but it is the fault of this man-made Capitalist democratic system that puts profit and material gain above everything else and the mismatch system of non-ideological countries who have no clue what they're doing and why they are doing it.

In fact today, I got pretty mad but it was for a different reason. They were talking to us about allowances and so what, some people get allowances for this and some for this. Then, some participant behind me started to complain about why the police should get such and such allowances and saying stupid remarks like 'Oh! if that is the case, better to become a police'. So, I turned around and said "Despite these allowances, they really don't make much and we actually earn a lot more than them. So, why you making a fuss?" and then, I got pretty mad...and I said "This is our people, we have such rotten hearts (busuk hati), why can't we accept that other people have their rizk and we have ours, why do we have to feel short-changed".

I started to remember the lecture I gave to my post-graduate students recently about dealing with an angry patient and identifying the symptoms of anger. I recognized all of those symptoms in me, tachycardia, heavy breathing, raised voice, banging the table, becoming more sarcastic and even verbal cues.

I don't understand it. Why can't Muslims have Islamic personality? Why do they have to feel jealous over other people's good fortune? Why can't they be happy with the provision that Allah swt give to them? Why? Why? Why?

I am completely...completely...disillusioned by everything that I've seen so far within this 4 days. Islam has taught us to have an open heart, to love for our brothers what we love for ourselves, to not be jealous, to accept the decision of Allah and yet, why is this not reflected in our society? It is not just about individuals because there are individuals who do have good personalities but that is not enough...we should not be satisfied if we have it but other Muslims don't because we are one Ummah and whatever the Ummah is, it is also a reflection on us. It is not good enough to have one or two individuals who are aware, the whole society should be aware because the society is not just a bunch of individuals but they are linked with common ideas, feelings and values.

If the values, ideas and feelings of the people as a whole is un-Islamic then, it is reflected in the whole society and those values, ideas and feelings will be identified as predominant, as the main values, ideas and feelings. For example, if laziness is the predominant trait among a particular race or culture then, it makes no difference if a few individuals are hard-working and diligent but as a whole, that is the trait associated with that race or culture.

If we look at the Muslims in the past, they were viewed as progressive and honorable that in his book of travels, Ibn Battuta described that whenever he reached a new land, he will be greeted by the locals and they will say 'A person from the land of Islam has arrived' and they greeted him with excitement. This shows that there was a certain perception about Muslims at the time. It is similar to the perception of the Muslim army during the time of the Khilafah, the Roman soldiers were so afraid of the Muslim army that their general had to chain their feet together to stop them from running away from the battle against the Muslims.

I wish to see that the Muslims in this country would change their ways, would dress themselves with the Islamic culture and values rather than the cultural ideas that carries no weight on the day of Judgment.

Day 3 at Kampung Gajah: Venting frustration

Today my frustration got to boiling point. The lecture was on integrity and although he was saying good things such as the importance of honesty, work ethics, politeness, responsibility, fulfilling roles and duties...to be clean...squeeky clean but the truth was, I am fed up of being told what to do. Often we are told to be ethical, honest, to have Iman but more often than not, it is the people at the top who abuse power, take bribery and be less than honest.

The speaker mentioned about using the office vehicle for one's own purpose and one guy asked the question whether it is wrong to use the office vehicle to go for Jummah prayer. I thought to myself, 'Oh for God's sake, what are you saying then, don't let him go for Jummah?' so, I said...why are we making a big deal about people using the car to go for Jummah, which is a Fardh and yet, when there are people at the top using official cars and drivers to send their kids to school or using government properties as if it is their own, well why don't we talk about that? I don't quite understand what the answer was but that was simply the start of me venting my frustration

I said to the speaker, "I would like to complain" and so, I started complaining about bureaucracy, long procedures that are complicated and sometimes not even understood by the officers within the department. Information are not available to the public and with all these deficiency, people are tempted to give bribe to get things done even if they don"t need to. At the same time the public are frustrated because VIPs often get special treatment, they go through a different queue and sometimes a VIP room, like the one that VIPs go into to get their ID photo taken. It is a two-tier system and full of double standards.



I think everyone should have to go through the same process and wait at the same queue. There is no concept of VIP in Islam. The Prophet (saw) was not just a Messenger but he was also the leader of the Islamic state in Madinah but he suffered the same difficulties, same pain, same hunger as his sahabah and all those who lived in Madinah. When the state was at its early stages and it was low in funds, the Prophet (saw) went hungry as the people went hungry, he led the battles, was wounded in the battle of Uhud and he went through every hardship that the people went through. So why should Muslim leaders today have to be treated in a special way, different from the rest of the people. If Umar bin Al Khattab could enter Jerusalam as a conquerer, whilst holding the leash of a donkey with his servant riding on it because they were taking turns then, why do these people have to demand being given special treatment?

When I was in the UK, there was no hierarchy in the work place. As a student, I used to sit and have lunch with our Dean from King's College School of Medicine and Dentistry. KCL was one of the best Medical schools in the world and yet, our Dean was a simple man. I used to sit in his outpatient clinics and he would chat to us, asking our opinions about things. I never felt like he was the 'Dean' or that I had to show him 'respect' but I learned a lot from him, and I still remember a lot of things that he conveyed to us.

Sometimes I feel embarased that despite being a majority Muslim country, the Islamic culture is not practiced here. The concept of a horizontal leadership is not present here, that every person is valued and respected despite their status or positions. On the contrary, this concept of horizontal leadership is present more in the western countries. How did it become like this? How did we lose Islam in exchange for something rotten?

This VIP syndrome completely against our Islamic culture. Leadership is not about status, it is a responsibility and a trust from Allah to fulfill the duties of looking after the affairs of the people and protecting them. We should study the examples of our Muslim leaders in the past, starting with the best of examples Prophet Muhammad (saw) and set a criteria and standard in our minds of what kind of a leader a Muslim should be. Never forget that Allah swt has given the authority to this ummah. We have the power to choose our leader and we have the ability to implement the Islamic system.

Day 2 at Kg Gajah: blunted affect

I thought I slept well last night but when I woke up I didn't feel rested. It was a strange bed and we had to have the air-condition on all night because there was no fan. I'm not used to sleeping with the air-condition on. At home, we normally just use the fan and I prefer breathing the cool fresh night air but somehow, the air here is pretty stale. There's not much breeze and it feels a bit like being trapped in an oven.

I keep saying to myself to stay positive, to make the best out of these ten days but I've entered into one of those 'moods' and when I'm in one of those 'moods', I just need to wade it out slowly. I need to allow the feelings to hover and gradually to dissipate by itself. I'm just functioning at the lowest level, sleep, wake up, eat, be polite, answer questions and do whatever task assigned to me but there's no enthusiasm.

Sometimes when you have a feeling that is difficult to manage...you simply need to let nature takes it course, not to entertain it and not to fight it. If you entertain it, it may escalate into something bigger and more detrimental but if you try to fight it, it may rebound and get out of control. So, the best thing to do is to simply let it sail through and Allah (swt) has created time as a blessing, Time is a great healer, a bearer of truth. In time, you will understand and things will be back to normal again. In this case, in ten days, I'll be leaving this place.

I miss my home, my family and I miss my work colleagues. I even miss my office. I miss driving to work in the morning and being greeted by the sound of running water from the little fountain in front of our office building. I consider my work place like a second home and my workmates as my extended family. I've always enjoyed working in large institutions. I used to love working at the hospital and felt slightly lost when I left hospital into general practice. So, I'm really happy to be working in an academic institution and still being able to perform my clinical duties. It is in the nature of doctors to always be a clinician. No doctors will ever leave their clinical work to only be a lecturer. In UK, there is no distinction between a clinician and a lecturer. The best hospitals in the UK are teaching hospitals and the best consultants and GPs are teachers.

I was rather surprised when I returned to Malaysia to observe this dichotomy between the Ministry of Health and the Ministry of Higher Education. I still don't understand it. To me, all doctors are teachers. They have to at least teach their juniors and their patients. Anyway, it is a weird system that I think will not be solved until the Khilafah comes so, I'm not going to give myself a headache thinking too much about it.

Okay, well...I'm starting to think again and having opinions so, maybe my 'mood' and feelings are normalizing...maybe tomorrow I'll be able to write on more profound issues inshaAllah.

Facing my fear

Whatever is your fear...one day you will have to face it. Today, I had to face my fear. After months of dreading, anxiety and nervousness, today I have finally reached Kg Gajah for a 10-day course.

The journey on the bus took 3 hours and after leaving the motorway, we passed by some small towns, more jungles, more villages and got deeper and deeper into the unknown. We had no warning, no inclination of what to expect. I wasn't sure if we would have internet access, phone lines and the idea of being 'trapped' somewhere with no way out is scary.

However, when we finally got to the intended place. It didn't look so bad. It looked quite pleasant like a training centre on a flat plain with lots of building and bungalows. So, we got off the bus and reported at the counter. I was glad that they gave us a room at the hostel rather than the bungalows as I was warned that strange things happen in the bungalows. Strange...as in those creatures of the unseen that is best avoided. I prefer to focus on the physical world where there are enough human problems to deal with.

So, at 4.30 we went for tea. I came back to the room and discovered that I have internet access which was a relief! Then, at 6.30 we went for dinner but I didn't feel like eating. I was still feeling disorientated, inside my head I was saying to myself "why am I here again?" I was trying to find a rational explanation for being here, at this place but the only answer I could think of was "because I was told to come"

Anyway, my room mate and I went for a walk around the place. The air was stuffy and stale, just like my near by hometown of Teluk Intan. We discovered that there is a gymnasium, snooker, table tennis and all kinds of sport facilities. So, wonder what interesting things I will think about within these 10 days...