Day 5 Kg Gajah: Acceptance and reconciliation

Today I went on the thread mill. If all fails, exercise will guarantee to lift one's spirits, release some serotonin into the system and after increasing my cardiac output, I felt better. I have accepted my fate and reconciled my frustrations.

All the activities are keeping me busy, keeping my mind off things but I'm still feeling weird. Right now, we are having a group meeting and they are discussing about what to perform for the dinner. I've volunteered myself as the medical person on call. I'm on the internet updating myself on events of the world. It is difficult to put things into context as we sit here, laughing and discussing trivial issues, there's protest happening in Syria and in other parts of the Middle East, there's wars and atrocities committed in other parts of the world and there are women like Dr Afia Siddiqui and others who are suffering in detentions for unjustifiable reasons.

Every night I go to sleep fearing that I will not wake up the next day. I do not fear death in itself as "death will come to us even if we were in the highest building" but I fear the meeting with my Lord for not having done anything to bring back Islam as a system. I live a comfortable life and my only trials are trivial annoyances.

Allah swt says in 2:214 "Or think you that you will enter Paradise without such (trials) as came to those who passed away before you? They were afflicted with severe poverty and ailments and were so shaken that even the Messenger and those who believed along with him said, ‘When (will come) the Help of Allah?’ Yes! Certainly, the Help of Allah is near!"

What is the definition of 'trials' and what standard should we compare our trials to? is it about not passing exams, not getting the perfect house, losing our mobile phone or should we compare the trials that the Prophet (saw) and his sahabah went through. They went through torture, persecution, defamation, discrimination, poverty, boycott and the threat of being killed for the sake of Islam. What were the things that they did that made them the target of Quraysh hatred and persecution? It was the carrying of the Islamic da'wah, to establish the Islamic system on this earth.

It is true that the believer will get rewarded for even the smallest of trials, even if he/she was to be pricked by a thorn he/she will be rewarded for the suffering and patience. However, we should consider what is it that Allah swt demands from us, using the Prophet (saw) and his sahabah as our standard.

It is so easy to forget these things especially when we are lulled by the entertainments, pleasures and facilities we have around us. May Allah swt protect us from negligence in carrying out our duties as Muslims. Amin