IN SEARCH OF THIS TRUTH

 

I am in a quest to search for THIS truth. People ask, 'why are you still searching for the truth?’ 

You have found Islam. 

You believe in One God, and Muhammad SAW is a Prophet of God, and you believe that Qur’an is the Word of God. 

You’ve come to the ultimate truth. So, what you do mean you’re still searching for the TRUTH? 

Because I am never contented in accepting things as they are, in the societal sense. 

I will question and refuse to live in stagnation. Life is fluid and we grow, we mature, but all the time, we are changing, in our view of the world and to a certain extend in our personalities. We may become calmer, more patient, or more intolerant of rubbish. 

So, yes, I have found the truth and that is Islam BUT what is Islam and where can I find it? 

Because Islam is not stagnant. It is not inert; it is alive, and it grows, and it is meant to be implemented. It is life itself. 

So, yes, Islam is the Truth and yet when I see injustices in the World especially in the implementation of this Truth, in the implementation of Islam. I start to question, and my question is NOT is Islam the truth? I’ve answered this question with a YES. But my question is since Islam is the Truth and yet, I see all these injustices (in the Muslim world) there has to be something wrong with the way it is being implemented. There has to be a problem with the Muslims. The problem is not with God, but with Muslims themselves. There has to be a problem in their understanding of Islam and in their interpretation of Islam.

When I say injustice, I mean why are there a lot of oppression among the Muslim world where workers are being exploited, women are being exploited, the orphans’ property are being exploited, there are Muslim leaders who are the richest in the world and yet, the people are starving, there are wars where Muslims are killing Muslims, why? Why are there Muslims using the religion to justify their acts of injustice and aggression? Why are there Muslim countries who do not even allow women to be educated? What is all this RUBBISH? 

I am a person who holds on to principles. and in my mind and my heart Allah is Just. That is the principle, and therefore when I see humans implementing things in the name of God and in the name of the religion of God and yet, it has created injustice....

...for example, where men are demanding to be treated like gods and yet, not providing for their wives and children, not showing the love and mercy that Allah has said in the Qur’an, treating their wives badly, shouting, screaming and using them as punch bags for their frail egos. Where the leaders live in luxury and then go around with cameras and the media to visit the poor, handing crumbs like these people are beggars, I’m not buying into all these hypes. So, when I see this I get very disappointed because I hold on to the word of God because Allah says that He is just, and that Islam is balance and peace so when I see so called ‘Islam’ being implemented and there is no justice and there is no peace, I don’t question God or Islam, but I question those who implement it, I question the men and ask ‘Are you implementing Islam or are you implementing what you desire and using Islam to justify it?’ because I think men have a very big responsibility. You have been made leaders, you have been given this task to bring this justice into the world, and if you don’t, you’ve failed. You’re a failure and that’s what I see today. 

Failure in Muslim men to carry this responsibility, the responsibility to protect Islam, to protect Muslims, to protect women, children, orphans and to carry this light to the world. In my mind they have failed, and I've lost all respect for them, their kings, their leaders, their scholars, their 'ustaz', their community leaders etc. There are good men in this world I'm sure, but they are individuals, just struggling every day to make ends meet, those who work hard for their families, those who have two or three jobs to make ends meet, those who treat their mothers, wives, daughters with love and respect but they are just individuals. 

 

So, where is this JUSTICE? There are Muslim men who want the four wives but not the responsibility, not the work to provide for all of these wives and the children, and justifying that you don’t have to, because the wives earn. I saw a video once an Ustad saying, ‘women should not look for men with looks or money, but what’s important is his 'Deen' and wow! everyone is clapping. To me, these are slogans. Let me ask you, Ustad.... 

What does it mean, Deen (religion, Islam)? Does it mean having a beard, praying 5 times a day, going to the masjid but what about his responsibility as a husband, which Allah SWT says in the Qur’an to provide and protect (Surah An Nisa’: 34) and you’re not marrying a beard, you want to marry a man who can fulfil his responsibility to you as a husband and what about love, to treat your wife with compassion and mercy? (Surah 30: 21). That is the purpose of marriage, a place of sanctuary, a place where you can feel at peace and tranquil, your husband as a protector, who provides for your everything, physical things as well as emotional needs. If God says all this in the Qur'an, then why do we see domestic violence among Muslim couples? Why do we see men taking wives as unpaid maids? 

Men want the honor and status of being a leader, but they don’t want the responsibility of making sure the people are looked after, to actually be on the ground and work with the people. We have put leaders on such pedestal that they can’t even carry their own food; it has to be served to them and how is that similar to Umar Al Khattab or Abu Bakar as Siddiq who used to go into people’s houses and do house chores for them? We are so far away from the truth and that is why I say, I AM SEARCHING FOR THE TRUTH.

When I talk to my Christian friends, they talk to me about Jesus (Peace be upon Him) and I tell them you know I am a Muslim. I believe in Jesus, but I believe he is a Prophet of God, he has a mother but no father. He is special, a miracle, a sign from God but I don't and will never believe in Trinity, or the fact that God had his son killed on the cross to save us and all I have to do is to believe and I'm saved, and if it be that because I do not have this 'faith' in my heart, and in your eyes, I'm going to hell, well, so be it. I believe in 'La ilaha illAllah' (There is no God but Allah). Allah - meaning THE God. 

I’m not searching for a belief (Aqeedah) because I already have a one, but I’m searching for the implementation of this belief in society, and I don’t see it. And I do put 80% of these failure on Muslim men because if you think about it, Muslim men are so obsessed about women covering up, not leaving the house, not being seen on the streets, we’ve had that in Afghanistan for decades if not more and how advance is Afghanistan? Are scientific discoveries happening in Afghanistan? Are they coming up with cure for cancer? So, this obsession with 'controlling' women has got to change, it has to go. This narcissistic and egocentric behavior among Muslim men has got to go if you truly love Islam, stop obsessing and trying to control women. Learn to control yourself. 

Look at the time when we DID have Islam, when Islam was the light in the world. The first University was set up by a Muslim woman, in 895CE by Fatimah Al Fihri and yet, today (because we DO NOT HAVE ISLAM) I hear people who are so called ‘Islamic’ saying we don’t need degrees, we don’t need education and all we need is Islam. What does that mean? Do you even know? Don’t you know what when we did have Islam, we had people like Ar Razi, Al Biruni, scientist who made discoveries in medicine, physics, philosophy, psychology. Now we don’t have Islam. We have Islam in our hearts but not in reality. Muslims have the truth but have no idea what it is, or what it does, or how it should function in society. We are a lost generation and for that reason, I am still in search of THIS truth. This truth it exist in my heart, in my mind, in this book The Qur'an but not in reality.