The joys of Malaysia: food and family

12th December 2009

Went out with Kakak (my sister) and the four kids today and had some ice-cream and ayam goreng at Kedai Mamak, which is what Malaysians call Indian Muslims. Kedai Mamak is very famous here. Everyone loves going to Kedai Mamak because it is a Muslim restaurant, the food is great like roti canai, briyani, rice and whatever kuah (gravy) you want, and lots of tasty drinks like fruit juices, teh-O-ice (my favourite) and it is cheaper and tastier than going to other restaurants like McDonalds or KFC. Ahh...the choice of food in Malaysia.

The kids had ice-cream and my sister and I shared an ABC (air batu campur) or iced mixed as it is translated. It is a Malaysian specialty made from grated ice with syrup and all sort of stuff like jelly, Ahh...the food in Malaysia is like heaven, Alhamdulillah. I will live in Malaysia and forget about the UK just for the food.

Hadiya was saying how she missed home and she wanted to go back to her old home. I couldn't understand how she would miss that tiny little house we lived in at 213 Bensham Lane. It was a little house with a tiny little lounge and dining area, a small tiny kitchen that only one person can ever be in at any one time and two upstairs bedroom. Now we are at Malaysia at my mom's detached house. Even the room we're staying in is like twice the size of our old lounge. There is like 3 lounges and a large garden. Yet, she wants to go home....I felt a little sad because I knew that there was no home any more. I couldn't take her 'home' even if I wanted to....this is our home now.

I was rather amazed at how the kids have adapted so quickly to the weather. They don't seem bothered about the heat although we did spend quite a bit of time in the library where the air-condition was. The one thing that really frustrated me was their nyamuk bites; we were practically mosquito food. Every morning we would wake up to every inch of our legs, arms even face covered with bites. I made sure the kids had their long sleeve pyjamas on and put mosquito repellant on their faces. Things did get better after a few weeks.

The main thing for me was not missing the UK but the fear of new environment. It was about being taken out of my comfort zone. I can understand how a fish feels. When we bought our fish back in the UK, we were told to introduce the fish gently into its new environment, not to put the fish in the aquarium immediately. Now, I understand why...even if the aquarium is the most beautifully designed and decorated in the world, it is still a new environment, the fish is being taken out of its comfort zone into somewhere it is uncertain about. Okay, this is sounding weird as if I would know how a fish feels. I'm talking about me...I felt out of my comfort zone even if my previous life was not perfect. Now, I have family, a nice place to live etc....and it felt pretty scary. It would have been easier to just carry on with life the way it was....even though I wasn't very happy with it.

The other new thing for me was family life. In the UK, it was me, hubby and the kids; occasional encounters with hubby's family. Here, I was with my family all the time. I was living with mom and dad, and sister and nephew. Family life means there will be conflicts, disagreement, dissatisfaction but there is also helping out, sharing, talking, expressing emotions, support, love and all sorts of beautiful experiences. It is important to accept people for what they are, taking criticisms at face value especially from parents. More than anything, they criticize out of love. The alternative to that would be isolation, individualism that only leads to loneliness, lack of self-confidence and self-esteem.

It feels so nice to be amongst people, to live with others. I am never alone and I can do whatever I want and still leave that work and have a chat with someone. Things are done together like someone would put the washing machine on, someone else will hang up the clothes and another person will take it down and fold it. That is the joy of living with family, in a community, something I believe has long been lost in the UK....individualism and 'freedom' has taken away the joy of living together and being part of each others lives.

Above: picture of my two goldfish in UK