A list of things that I've realised since I've left UK

1. You do not have to be in control of everything.

Yes! What a relief! You do not have to be in control of everything. The house doesn't have to be spotless! You do not have to work, look after children, prepare the meal and still look like Miss Universe. You can make mistakes. You sometimes will lose your temper. You get ill and exhausted sometimes and you just want to have a rest and it is all okay. Most importantly, you are not in control of how your child will turn up. You are not in control of anything. Forget about "What will happen if I do this..." or "What will happen if I do that..." You just concentrate on what you have to do, what is Fardh, what is haraam and your accountability; and leave all the rest to God.

2. You do not have to be the "perfect mom"

Yes! Your children do not need you 24-7. They do not need you breathing down their backs. You just need a trustworthy adult to be around to make sure they are okay and leave them to play, to fight, to laugh and to cry. Give them your love and enforce the discipline that they need. They need to know the boundaries and they need to know that you are boss!

3. Children do NOT need toys.

Oh boy! they really don't. They need space to run around and each other. Let them use their imagination. Their whole surrounding is their play area and everything in it are their toys. They love playing with leaves, with stones, with boxes...even ants! Instead buy yourself nice things. LOL!

4. Studying is a great past time.

If you want a great past time for your kids. Get them to study. Get them to find out things. Get them to do research. Discuss with them about the world, history, geography, science...all these knowledge is about God's creation. There is nothing more fulfilling than getting to know the Creator.

5. Night is for sleep and day is for seeking the bounty of Allah.

Qur'an Surah Rum: 23 "And among His Signs is your sleep by night and by day, your seeking of His bounty. Verily in that are signs for people who hear."


Day time is a time for work, school, study, visiting friends and relatives, going shopping. Day time is activity time. There is no time for rest except when you are ill; like I'm ill at the moment with a bit of fever or just a short nap after praying zuhur to rejuvenate yourself. After that, go out and seek the bounty of Allah, go out and seek the rewards of Allah. There is no time to procrastinate.

6. House work is not a chore! and work can be very fulfilling.

There is no such word as 'chore' in the Malay language. There is 'house-work' and there is 'office work'. Wherever you are, home or office you have to work. To live is to survive and to survive you need to work, you need to do something. Those who claim that life is for pleasure and enjoyment usually ends up doing nothing. They anticipate for the time when they will be free to do other things that are enjoyable like when it is time to go home from work, friday night when it is time to go to the pub, weekend when they can 'enjoy' themselves. The rest of the time they are not living but they are dead...just doing what they need to do because they have to, because it is a chore.

Every second we are living...and in everything that we do there is opportunity for reward in this world and the hereafter. If we put our effort into it and if we do things with others.

Furthermore Allah swt says "O you who believe! Answer the call of Allah and His Messenger when He calls you to that gives you life". Hence, Islam is the ingredient that gives us life. So, we need to answer to the call of Islam and perform all the things that we need to do as Muslims such as in Da'wah and Jihad. Hence, procrastination is not an option.

7. Rizk is completely and utterly in the hands of God.

God gives and He takes away and no one else can give it to you or take it away from you. Everything that you have no matter where it came from is from God so, be thankful to Him alone. However, you need to work hard because that is what you have to do. You must be like the bird that goes out in the morning seeking its provision. Living off the benefit system is not an option. It is a system that demotivates people, separates the strong-willed from the weak. It is a system that divides people into classes and eventually destroys them. Instead, make it easy for people to set up small businesses. Give them land to grow things and produce crops...Stop giving people small hand-outs; just give them a life!