Thank you Allah for making me a doctor

I was invited for lunch at a patient's house. It was one of the most beautiful houses I've ever been to. I've been to many different mansions but this was simply amazing.

Externally, it looked like another large detached house, surrounded by high walls but when you enter the front door and out into the courtyard, you are greeted by a swimming pool surrounded by palm trees. We had lunch beside the pool and I felt so happy just getting to know this nice family.

I wanted to cherish every minute, every second...

I felt so blessed Alhamdulillah to be a doctor, to be given the opportunity to enter into the lives of so many people and I want to take the time to remember each and everyone of my patient... to learn something from them.

When I was growing up I never thought I could be a doctor. I thought only the smartest people could do medicine instead, I wanted to become an engineer. After my SPM results, I applied to Tenaga Nasional Berhad (TNB) for a scholarship to study engineering in the UK. I've always wanted to go to the UK...it was my dream. I filled in the forms, sent the applications, went for the interview and received an offer.

I told my dad about the TNB offer, begging him to sign the agreement and consent but he refused. He was adamant that I should not go overseas and that I should stay locally. I cried for days but there was nothing I could do. The deadline for submitting the offer passed, TNB called asking me why I have not submitted my agreement and that they would still accept me. I told them I had to reject their offer and my heart broke to pieces. I was devastated because I thought my future was lost...

Then, a 'magical' thing happened, the few days later my dad came home and he said he had something to tell me. He said that I'm going to study A levels in the UK and to do Medicine. I couldn't believe my ears...I couldn't believe what was happening... I never thought in a million years that my dad would agree for me to study overseas. He was not the type of person who would change his mind.

Allah SWT showed me that anything is possible, that Allah SWT is the One who decides our future and that if Allah SWT wills for something to happen, it would happen no matter what and if Allah SWT forbids something from happening, it would never happen even if the whole world wants it to happen but one thing I realize is that we need to make an effort.

I spent a year studying for my SPM, eating, breathing and drinking SPM and I worked so hard to get the TNB scholarship and even though I had to reject it, Allah SWT replaced it with something better, Alhamdulillah.

I never thought I was smart enough to be a doctor but as soon as I started my house-man-ship I knew Allah SWT has chosen the best career for me. I wouldn't want to be anything else. Medicine is not about the title, the status, the money but it is about understanding life... it is about people... and their lives, their health and disease... it is about understanding human beings and what makes us function, what makes us alive, every heart beat, every breath, every thought and everything that we find out about ourselves ultimately lead us to one thing, the Creator.

This is because no matter how much medicine gives us the answer to the question 'how?'... it doesn't give us an answer to the question 'why?' Ultimately, why... it is because Allah SWT made it in such a way and that behind everything that works... there is something 'hidden', something supernatural, intelligent, incredibly powerful that makes things function the way it does and when things go wrong, no matter what we do as doctors, how hard we try, how clever we are at 'fixing' the human body, we have to concede that there's still something greater out there who decides which patient gets better and which patient doesn't and it is that 'something' that controls life and death.