Words of contemplation (1)

I'm sitting here in McD @ Ampang Park observing the people around me. It is incredible to think that every single person here or in the world has a whole life story to tell. The things that they have gone through and experienced to make them who they are.

I'm thinking about how much a person has achieved in their life and how much they could potentially achieve. Everyone has their potential and the capability to reach whatever heights and limits they dream of achieving and yet, often the thing that stops us from achieving what we want is none other than ourselves.

Often our growth and development are stagnated by our own fears. Often we are traumatized by 'voices' in our own heads preventing us from reaching our goals. I'm not talking about hearing voices like an auditory hallucination, a symptom of psychosis but rather, our own voice... that voice in our head that tells us to refrain, that causes doubt...

How many times have we stopped ourselves from telling someone we love them, a friend, a spouse, our kids, our parents out of fear of rejection? We fear to expose ourselves to the possibility of being turned down and getting hurt.

How often have we stopped ourselves from pursuing our dreams in education, career, ambition out of fear of failure? We fear the possibility of not achieving the dream and in the end, we give up before we even try...

How often have we stopped ourselves from making a change in our lives, to leave an unbearable situation such as an unhappy marriage or an unsatisfactory job out of fear of making the wrong decision? We fear the unknown, the possibility of crossing to the other side and ending up in a worse situation. So, we persevere even though we can't tolerate the workload or the stressful environment.

How often have we refrained from taking that step to repent to Allah SWT because we fear that maybe we do not deserve His forgiveness? We are too afraid to pray to Him and ask for His Mercy out of our own guilt when Allah SWT says

"And whoever does evil, or wrongs his own soul, but afterwards seeks Allah’s forgiveness, will find Allah is Forgiving, Compassionate."

(Qur’an 4:110)

Often we fail to even realize that the one who disappoints us, the one who prevents us from achieving our dreams, the one that stands in the way of our goals, the one who shatters all hope is none other than ourselves.

So, here I am sitting here thinking about things, about life, about people as I normally do, I think about how amazing we are as human beings, how we are simply a speck of dust in this vast universe and yet, how complicated we are inside, physically, psychologically and emotionally. 

إِنَّمَآ أَمۡرُهُ ۥۤ إِذَآ أَرَادَ شَيۡـًٔا أَن يَقُولَ لَهُ ۥ كُن فَيَكُونُ (٨٢) فَسُبۡحَـٰنَ ٱلَّذِى بِيَدِهِۦ مَلَكُوتُ كُلِّ شَىۡءٍ۬ وَإِلَيۡهِ تُرۡجَعُونَ

His practice, when He intends to do something, is no more than He says, “Be”, and it comes to be. (82) So, pure (from every fault) is the One in whose hand is the dominion of all things. And towards Him you are to be returned. (83) Surah Yasin