Wednesday 31 March 2010

Missing UK

31st March 2010

I was feeling UK-sick today. I don't know why. Generally I feel happier here in Malaysia. Of course having family close by is the source of all happiness but also I am enjoying work.

At the same time, I'm feeling a bit like 'fish out of water'. I miss certain things in the UK. I miss my friends. I went for lunch today and walking around, it suddenly dawned on me that I missed UK. I miss certain things like everyone speaking with an English accent or listening to the BBC news and sarcasm...hmmm...what would I do without sarcasm??? I miss watching Doctor Who, although I believe the new series have not started yet. I miss having salads. I miss going to work and actually knowing what I'm doing like which forms to fill in, who to refer to and which medications I'm allowed or not allowed to prescribe.

I know this is all new to me and it is normal to feel out of place or lack of knowledge in a new environment. There's so much to learn and I miss my 'comfort' zone. I don't know how I would feel if I was back in the UK even for a holiday. It would be really weird and I think I would feel absolutely devastated if I did have to go back for whatever reason; other than a short holiday to visit friends.

Things are much more relaxed here. Everyone just seem to take their own sweet time and it is nice to be able to talk to anyone anywhere. I was on my way home from work and there was a dreadful traffic jam. We were barely moving at all so, I stopped by the petrol station. Whilst I was filling up, the lady who works there asked if I was okay and I just started chatting to her, asking her if she knew why there was a traffic jam. She told me there's flooding and so, just started asking her how long she's been working there. She told me she's worked there for years and that is where she finds her Rizk; I told her that the only thing that is important is to find Halaal Rizk and she agreed. She started cleaning my windscreen and afterwards, I drove back into the traffic jam feeling very relaxed.

These were the kind of things I missed when I was in the UK, just genuine encounters with people. People who would give you their time and not look at you like you're about to blow them up! People who smile at you from their hearts and not eye you with mistrust. Sometimes in the UK people do smile back at me after I smile at them, I usually smile at people even if they look at me in a weary way. Still, it is not the same...May Allah always preserve the Iman and the love in our hearts.

Saturday 27 March 2010

Family outing, Rizk and lightning.


After 3 months...finally I feel settled here. We started our weekend with a shopping trip and dinner at KFC. Everyone in UK says the best part about living in a Muslim country is the halaal food. I agree that there's more choice of halaal food around including fast-food. Still, with the recent news of halaal stamps being bought from private company, one has to be very careful where one eats.

I feel like I've learned a lot within this 3 months about myself, about others, about Malaysia and about life itself. Things are a lot more uncertain here but there is more need to rely on Allah and to constantly seek for His Help, His Mercy and Guidance. I think finally...or should I say at last I've understood Rizk (Rezeki). We always say Rizk is from Allah but in the UK, this concept is tainted by the Government's Benefit system and people feel that their reliance is on the state. In a country where there is no Benefit system, people who lost their jobs or not yet found a job or works hard to earn a living; they somehow still get their Rizk and sometimes the Rizk comes through sources you do not expect. The difference is that people work harder to attain their rizk, to fulfil their responsibility to their families.

Since I've been here and going through all the challenges I went through; the concept of Rizk, Tawakkal, Sabr have all become very real to me; it's no longer theoretical. You need to hold on to these things in order to survive. It is like being trapped on a sailboat in the middle of a thunderstorm; you really have no choice, you have to put your Trust in Allah.

The other day I was at work and it was 2 more minutes to home-time. I could hear the sound of thunder in a distance. I thought to myself...if I don't leave now I'm going to be caught in a thunderstorm. So, I grab my things and got in the car. The wind was strong but there was no rain yet. I drove at maximum speed limit. Then suddenly as I got closer to the city-centre, I could see the lightning. It came from the heavens and struck the ground, one after another. As I got even closer to the centre of KL, the lightning was almost within my reach. The sound of the lightning strike was enough to put fear into my heart. I couldn't do anything else apart from reciting Qur'an and just trying to keep my hands on the steering wheel. You know sometimes you watch the documentary of people who actually chase storms. They will be talking about the storm and how great it is, with their windscreen wipers full blast and a tornado right next to their 4X4. I always thought those people were mad and here I was inside the eye of the storm itself (but not by choice). Lightning was striking from my front, my back and the side of the car. Suddenly all the other cars were behaving themselves, 2-second rule was observed and nobody tried to cut anyone up and they had their signals on. "One good thing about rain in Malaysia" I thought. The rain fell down like someone had just switched on the shower tap; it was terrential! I could barely see outside the windscreen and we were crawling our way in the rain at 10km/hr.

It made me think about life. We go through life and sometimes we will be trapped in a thunderstorm. You can't stop (cause the cars behind you will start beeping), you can't escape and all you have to do is to just wade yourself through it until the thunderstorm ends with a lot of Faith and Tawakkal in Allah.

It made me think about how close I am to Allah; to His Creation of something great and terribly powerful. Yet, who is more powerful? The lightning or the One who made the lightning. thunderstorms and lightning seems to be a daily occurence here at the moment but it never fails to make me feel awed by the magnificent power of God's Creation.

Thursday 25 March 2010

Why did I return after 17 years?

This is a common question that I get from my friends. It is a very difficult question to answer in such a short space of time. Sometimes I think I need to write a thesis about it.

Everyone lives their lives according to what they see as important at the time for e.g. you may find a woman who started off in her younger days viewing her career as the most important thing. She strives so hard to get to where she wanted to be e.g. CEO or Manager or whatever; Sometimes when she gets to where she wanted to be, she may start to evaluate her life and to some women they realized that wasn't the thing that gave them satisfaction and they start to value family life instead. This is just an example and it is purely to express how we human beings will value somethings and work towards achieving that.

For a long time I valued my life in the UK but things change, situation changes and people change and views about what is important in life changes. Of course everyone knows that the situation in UK has changed over the last 17 years that I lived there. The once very tolerant society is now plagued by 'climate of fear' created by government and media, there is 'islamaphobia' but there is also a shift in other things like the way health care is viewed and the NHS which affected me directly. There is a change in youth culture and of course, the latest is change in economic stability.

Things change sometimes for the better and sometimes for the worse...and for me, it felt that things were changing for the worse. Besides, my own personal life was changing as the kids were getting older. We all know the recent report published that Britain was the worst place to bring up children compared to other countries and Australia being one of the best. You all read that right? I would agree with that report.

Anyway, I was finding that certain things were becoming more and more important to me and that was my FAMILY. Being away from my parents, knowing that they were getting older everyday, knowing that potentially I could lose them (who knows? Ajal is from Allah). I had a real urge to return and spend whatever time Allah swt granted me with my parents.

Secondly, I wanted my children to grow up with certain moral principles and not with individualism and Capitalism. I could not bear to think that they would one day turn around and tell me "I am free to do whatever I want to do." I mean, we all know that is a farce, no body is free to do whatever they want, we are all bounded by some rules or regulations; if we do not believe in the Rule of God then, we are potentially ruled by other people who make the Laws in Parliament. The worse thing about man-made laws is that they enforce it on others but never on themselves (as demonstrated by the recent MPs scandal in Westminster).

Besides, I did not agree with this whole mentality that we should allow children to express themselves freely and if we allow them to do whatever they want, they will somehow turn out good. I don't see the logic in that. I have to admit (and some may disagree with me) that I much prefer the education system in Malaysia. I wouldn't say it is 'perfect' but I was chuffed when my daughter brought back her sivik textbook and the first lesson was on 'self-discipline'.

Anyway, I do think children should be allowed to question and to appease any misunderstandings or doubts they have. However, I think the education system in the UK promotes too much questioning but without real substance.

I know I'm rambling on about something that many will think 'what is she on about???' but in short; I returned home to be with my family, my parents, my siblings and all my extended family members...and secondly, to bring up my children in a different way.

Friday 19 March 2010

Now I truly feel like I'm living here...

To truly feel like you live somewhere is when you're working there. So, yesterday I was a tourist but today, I was truly a resident or what you call 'Bermastautin'. I have to say that the people here are very helpful and very generous with their effort and their time.

I am very fortunate Alhamdulillah to work in a fairly new Medical faculty. The people are enthusiastic and we have recently been relocated to our new high-tech Medical campus with a brand-new outpatients department next door. It is all new and exciting. On my first day, we have paper-work to sort out as usual and I was then taken around various sites to familiarise myself with the place and people.

I am so glad that I started work half way through the week. That means I have a gentle 2-day introduction to everything. There's so much information to absorb including all the different clinics to attend in various different locations but Alhamdulillah I'm glad that I'm quick at learning routes and of course thanks to googlemaps and the kindness of others to show me around.

Then, there's so much reading to do. I need to familiarize myself with KKM guidelines rather than DOH guidelines. Unlike law, Medicine is fairly standardise all over the world but there's always some subtle differences. I mean my colleague was giving a tutorial to students on 'sore throat' and although I've managed 100s possible 1000s of sore throats but teaching is slightly different from routine practical general practice. Teaching requires a lot of knowledge based facts whereas practical management requires more weighing up facts and making the best judgements. So, I had a lot to think about and personal reading to do. Besides, in the UK we are taught to broaden our thinking and exercise more lateral thinking but the focus is not so much on in-depth knowledge. However, I am no longer just a clinician but I am also an academician. So, this requires in-depth and lateral thinking...sort out what we call 'enlightened thinking'; to know things in detail but to make judgements based on the comprehensive study of reality, possibly not just on that subject but to be able to link it to other matters...like the patient's lifestyle, environment, work, family, home, school etc...

Then, I had an hour long session on computer training. The great thing about Msians is that they are very helpful. They really take time to sit down and teach you things and to make sure that you are comfortable with the system. After that session, I really felt like I knew the computer system inside out although I'm sure I'd still suffer from teething problems.

So, I spent the rest of the afternoon downloading and reading guidelines.

From where I started a few months ago, I never thought I would end up here and I am so grateful to Allah swt for His Mercy and Guidance. There were times when things got very hard, there were times I felt like giving up and going back to my comfort zone but it is always darkest before the dawn and after all that I went through, I truly believe that the weapon of the believer is patience and perseverence.

Allah swt says in Surah Baqarah:45 "And seek help in patience and salaah and truly it is extremely heavy (hard) except for the Khashiun (the true believers)."

May He make us one of the Khashiun.

Trip to KLCC


Half term school holiday and kids have been at home for the last 3 days. We decided to take them for a trip. For many tourist, KLCC Twin Towers is one of the main attractions in KL. In our previous trips to KL, going to KLCC was at the top of our 'to do' list. In our previous visits, we went to KLCC several times, to visit PetroSains or simply for sight-seeing but when you virtually live next to KLCC, you start to see it with a different perspective.

It is like when we were living in the UK. We barely visited the 'tourist' spots. We only went to Marble Arch, Buckingham Palace or Hyde Park because we happened to be there. It's like on our way to Regent's mosque for a talk or on our way to a March or when I had to renew my passport and Buckingham Palace was just round the corner. It's like the buildings is just part of the scenery, part of life but not the main attraction itself. I mean KLCC is primarily a shopping mall but it's got other attractions like PetroSains (like an educational science fair for kids) and the Aquarium. The PetroSains is interesting for the kids. They can play with the exhibits and entrance fee is reasonable.

I wonder if that is how it is like for people who live near the beach like the fisherman and his family. The children playing by the beach everyday, that is just part of their everyday life. It is not a 'holiday' or 'main attraction'. Or for those people who actually live near the Kaabah...like performing Umrah is a weekly activity.

Anyway, the kids were very excited to go on the LRT (something like an over-ground tube). In fact, the LRT ride itself was sufficient for them. We stopped at KLCC. Hubby wanted to go up to the twin tower bridge but unfortunately, there's limited ticket and you have to queue up at 8am to get one. So, we decided to just have a peek at the towers from ground level, we had A&W and ice-cream...hmmm...soursop flavour and bubble-gum. It was interesting. Then, we caught the LRT home.

That was the highlight of our holiday and of course, balik kampung...(the best thing about living in Malaysia)

Friday 12 March 2010

Applying for a Medical job in Malaysia

I am going to try and make this short and sweet simply for the benefit of anyone out there planning to come back to Malaysia.

The first thing to do is to apply for registration with MMC (Malaysian Medical Council) so, please refer to my earlier blog. They will give you a letter confirming your full registration (if you qualify) then;

Applying to Kementerian Kesihatan at Putrajaya
Take the letter from MMC and you must fill in 'borang maklumat diri'; KKM is responsible for posting. They decide which hospital or clinic you will work in. They give you 3 choices in the form i.e to choose for your hospital. Once you've filled in the form, hand it in to the person in charge.

You then go to SPA (suruhanjaya perkhidmatan awam) and they do the perlantikan - you can fill in the form online, they will call you for interview within 2-3 weeks and will then give you an offer letter. You will then be contacted by KKM for induction. The process from start to finish is around 2-3 months.

All doctors returning from overseas starts at Gred UD41 (salary around RM3000 - RM4000); For that reason alone, I believe many Malaysian doctors do not want to come back. If you are a specialist, you need to apply to KKM bahagian pakar so, please contact them first.

Applying to University
There are a few new Medical Faculties such as at UiTM, USIM, IIU Medical Faculty and other places. UM and UKM are very much established. Hospital UM is in Petaling Jaya, and HUKM is in Bangi. UPM has its own hospital Putra near Serdang. USIM is in Nilai but its medical faculti is in KL and attached to Hospital Ampang, IIU is in Gombak and UiTM is in Selayang and attached to hospital Sungai Buluh.

Get in touch with someone at the Faculti you're intending to work in e.g. Family Medicine, Emergency Medicine etc...try to make an appointment to see them, hand in your application form with documentations; Each University have their own application forms so, if you're applying to various Universities be prepared to fill in lots of forms and photocopy a lot of your documents. you will be called for an interview. Interviews are conducted every 6-8 weeks.

Once the Medical Faculty have made a decision, they will need to apply to the University itself for their agreement so, this is a very tedious process that can take up to 2-3 months. Even after your application is successful, it takes another few weeks or sometimes a month before you will get your offer letter because it has to be signed by Pendaftar so...YOU MUST HAVE SABR AND TAWAKKAL...

Applying to private
If you are over 45 you are exempted from compulsory service, you can apply to any private hospital, private clinic or private universities; approach the hospital and speak to the person in charge or consultant. They will call you for interview, have their board meeting and offer you a job. Remember to negotiate your salary before hand. The process can still take between 2-3 months depending on how efficient things are.

So, there you go...I think my blog is now complete. I hope that it has been helpful and from now on...I'll just write my thoughts or other experiences from time to time. Those intending to come back, I hope I haven't scared you off and hope that maybe I've inspired you a little...

The hardest time of my life ever....

I think I've touched on every aspect of my life here in Malaysia so far...but there's one part that I haven't talked about at all; looking for a job.

I must say of all the things I've had to do, go through and struggle past; the job thing is the hardest thing of all. The reason is because as humans, we are most worried about our Rizk, it is because from the money we make we get to buy food, find shelter, clothe ourselves and day-to-day living expenses. It is one of the biggest worries of our life.

Before I go on to 'applying for a medical job in Malaysia' which is all about boring official stuff again that will only be relevant to some people and not others. I just wanted to say...waiting for an offer and not knowing where that offer is going to come from, whether it is going to come or not and when you're going to start earning again was the hardest, MOST difficult test for me. It was in essence the make or break of this whole "hijrah". Without a job, I will have to go back to the UK and everything will be lost...all the wonderful things I've experienced here will be gone in just one day. It was so hard to think about that and I prayed and prayed that Allah will not take this away from me.

It would be okay if you had financial security for the next 20 years or more but when you only have financial security for a few months...with the hope that you'll be starting work soon...you get what I mean? Even if it is for six months...you still need to start working. There is no such thing as 'job-seeker's allowance' here or social security or benefit; everyone has to work. In some ways it is good because that is how it should be, people should work for their living especially for men - they have a responsibility to do so and will be sinful if they don't.

At the same time, there is no safety net. I have heard stories of working men sleeping at the bus-stop (not because they are drunk!) but because they haven't got the money to go home after work. They've been out of work for a while and managed to find a job and for a month, they were sleeping at the bus stop and having showers at the mosque so that they could go to work everyday and get their first pay check. I can't help imagining how strong and determined these people are compared to people who have it easy their whole lives...living off benefit and the hard work of others.

All of these stories inspired me and made me feel humble and small...I've been to several interviews and was waiting and waiting for an offer. My advice is no matter what job you apply to in the Medical field, government or private...the process from start to finish takes at least 3 months so, you must be prepared mentally and financially. For some, it may even take longer and for others that I've come across, they gave up hope and went back to the UK or go to another country. You need true patience and tawakkal or at least I needed to have that within myself. I've never prayed so much in my life SubhanAllah!

During that time I just couldn't concentrate on anything else except to pray, read Qur'an and watch some silly TV program to take my mind off things, yeah...like Doctor who or Buffy. (Okay, don't laugh) but the idea of Vampires and Aliens was somehow comforting. Anyway, if you at any point in your move to Malaysia experience this feeling...just keep putting your Trust in Allah. The Syaitan will whisper all sorts of things to you like "why is this happening to me?", "if my istiharah dreams were good, why is this happening?" doubt will creep in...and every single evil thoughts will be thrown at you...but you must keep your Faith and Trust in Allah. All I can think of is how weak I was and how I have no knowledge of what is in front of me. I didn't know what is going to happen a week from now, a month or a year from now...but Allah knows...so, I just talked and talked to Him and tried to find my strength in Him.

In the end, Allah will give us what is good for us and if something is not good for us, no matter how much we want it we must redha (accept) but sometimes, we have accepted whatever Allah has decided for us and we are completely satisfied with it and then Allah gives us the thing that we really want. Alhamdulillah. Whatever it is, it is all a test...

Shipping arrived...and advice on what to bring from UK

My shipping arrived from the UK as promised right before Chinese New Year. I must say the shipping company I used was very efficient from the UK end but when it came to Malaysian end...it was very worrying. I didn't know who to contact and when I was given a number, they were very unprofessional. Finally, I was given an office number and managed to speak to a proper person. Anyway, my shipping did arrive Alhamdulillah but I wouldn't recommend this company.

The best thing about bringing back things from the UK is that you have an instant home. It is a nice feeling to have familiar things and the kids seem more relaxed once they have their familiar toys and books.

I didn't bring back a lot of furniture, just the ones I really like. You can get nice furnitures from Malaysia and if you have a big budget, you could get beautiful wood furnitures. Just do some window shopping first and go to proper furniture shops rather than the ones inside the supermarket. Have a look around 'local' shops.

Things you would like to bring back from UK

1. Children's books: Books are expensive in Malaysia although there are some 'book fairs' around - at the moment there's a book fair at Jalan Tunku Abdur Rahman. Otherwise, try and get books from bargain bookshops in the UK (and I'm not talking about Waterstones) or you can get some cheap books from internet bookstores such as 'bookpeople' or 'red house' or amazon.

2. You can get all kitchen items for reasonable price especially if you go to 'Kedai serbaguna'. Cooking pots can be expensive especially branded ones so, if you have those in the UK then, bring them along in your shipping. Also can't seem to find any hand-blender here???

3. Baby items: I would advice you bring back a year's supply of nappies especially if your child is in nappy pants. Nappies are expensive around RM30 - RM40 if you want the good quality ones. I got some promotion packs back in the UK for easy up pants; they cost me £2.99 each. If your child is on powdered milk then, it is a good idea to bring a year's supply as well. Powdered milk here is expensive. However, if your child is already on cow's milk then, you'll be okay. They have fresh milk and full cream milk and low fat milk here. It taste nice (my Luqy loves it) and cost only RM4.50 - RM 5.50 for 1 Litre carton.

4. Spices - you might want to bring back Olive oil, rosemary, mixed herbs and other European spices. You can get them here but they are expensive. If you have a jar of them back in UK, just put them in a box. You can virtually get every kind of food here, you can even get strawberries if you miss them that much but they're just costly. And you know how me and kids love cheese...somehow...we don't seem to love cheese so much here in Malaysia; maybe due to the hot weather like I haven't had chocolates for ages.

5. Clothes: you can get clothes here for reasonable price.If you're one of those 'branded types' then, best to get all your kid's clothes from the UK. I used to get all of my children's clothes during the summer/winter sales and buy it for the whole year or two. Branded clothes are expensive here but you can always get clothes from Pasar Malam if it's only for pyjamas...

My advice from personal experience is that if you're spending for a whole container or half a container then, BRING EVERYTHING WITH YOU.

Our experience of government Hospital

3rd January 2010

I came home today after a day of sorting things out. Luqman was asleep and when he woke up he just cried and cried and cried. Hubby told me he hurt his arm earlier whilst playing. My baby just wouldn't stop crying and he wouldn't move his arm. It didn't look broken but we thought it would be best to get it checked out.

So, we drove to Hospital Besar KL (HKL) Emergency Department. On arrival, we parked the car and got down to emergency; there was a triage place at the front where you have to give the patient's ID card or passport. Within a few minutes we were called and was seen by a male nurse who took Luqy's pulse, Oxygen saturation and temperature. We sat down at the waiting area again and was called to the payment counter. The fees for any trauma is RM50.00. Otherwise it is only RM15.00 for non-citizens and much less for Malaysian citizens.

We were given a number and within 15 minutes our number was called; we saw the doctor who sent him for Xray. The Xray would have taken less than 10 minutes except Luqman was screaming his head off. The Xray films were ready within a few minutes, took it back to the doctor who looked at it, confirmed there was no fracture and mada a follow-up appointment in a few days. We were out of the hospital and on our way home within 45 minutes.

There was a notice board at the waiting area that guaranteed all non-critical patients will be seen within 90 minutes. This was HKL, one of the biggest and busiest government hospital in Malaysia. There were no drunks, no time-wasters, okay...there was one guy who looked like he was involved in a fight and was surrounded by his family members including brothers, sisters, mom and dad all shaking their heads at him. Anyway, I think RM50 which is about £10 is great value for tip-top service. I would give HKL 5 stars! Now, can we discuss about what is wrong with the NHS?

TOP TIPS ON MALAYSIAN HOSPITALS:

You can go to government or private, government hospitals fees are much less but you may have to wait slightly longer; private hospitals cost a bomb!!!

Government hospital will charge higher rates for non-citizens.

Make sure you bring your ID card or passport because you will need it to register.

How the kids adjusted to life in Malaysia

Many people ask me about how my kids are adjusting to life in Malaysia. My answer is "surprisingly well".

A few weeks into school life and they seem pretty adjusted. My older two are in primary school, year 5 and year 1. They tell me how much they love the school. On the second day, I took them to school and asked the children there where my kids should go to. One of the girls took Fajar's hand and just led her off. Then, I went to find Malik's class and another little girl (smaller than Malik) took his hand and even carried his bag for him. Emmmm....

The only thing they moan about is having to wake up at 5.45 to get ready for school but they are now used to it. They get up, have a wash, change into their school uniform, have breakfast and walk down to the guard house to be picked up by the school bus. In the afternoon, they walk up from the guard house and although they complained about it in the beginning but now, they just get on with it and have become fitter and healthier. School ends at 1.15pm. They get home, have lunch and then, do their homework and study for another 2 hours before they are allowed to play, watch TV or go swimming. Oh yes...and they have text books here, so heavy bag to school everyday.

They are used to the weather now except on very hot days when all of us will complain.

The thing they find most difficult is learning Malay. I'm not sure what it is but there's some switch in their brain that says...we can only speak English. It has taken a long time for them to even attempt to learn Malay. Fajar is doing slightly better because she has to...but the others are not very interested to learn. I don't know...there's like some kind of 'colonial' mentality that everyone else can speak English so we won't bother. In fact, hubby is picking up Malay much better than the kids. Well done hubby! He could at least have a conversation on what he wants to eat at the restaurant. So, this week is school holiday and I borrowed lots of P Ramlee CDs from my mom that we're going to watch.

Otherwise, they seem pretty happy. I'm glad Science and Maths are still in English so, Malik is doing well in those subjects although Fajar is complaining that she can't understand the English here due to 'incorrect' use of grammar. Yup! Fajar is the one who often corrects my grammar even when I'm trying to tell her off! They talk to me about how they miss 'our old home in UK', they miss their old school and friends but that's understandable.

There are some good things about the kids being raised in UK for e.g. they have no clue about Malay cultural issues and the 'kampung mentality' versus 'bandar mentality'; to them something is either Islamic or un-islamic. Also, they have been trained to think for themselves (sometimes too much) and to understand things rather than just to memorize and accept.

On the other hand, there are many other things they could learn from the attitudes of people here like having a lot of sabr, bertolak-ansur, bertimbang-rasa, berdisiplin (sorry, won't attempt to find English translations); things that aren't so emphasized in British society due to promotion of freedom and individualism.

For e.g. I was reading Fajar sivik text book and it was talking about developing self-discipline such as keeping time, fulfilling responsibility, fulfilling one's promise, setting a task and completing it etc...I'd like to see them teach that in Britain ehmmm...how would they teach that in the context of freedom err..."You must make sure if you promise your friend you're going to give them something, you have to fulfil your promise but...you're free to do whatever you want." See the contradiction??? or one of the questions in Fajar's test is "good thing you should do during your free-time." Answer: study and do revision. Okay...wouldn't go too well in a 'free' society whose answer is more like...watch TV and play Playstation. Unfortunately, the sivik paper was in Malay and Fajar couldn't understand a word of it so, guess which answer she chose...emmm..."melepak".

New home and honoring parents




Hubby came to join us in Malaysia and the kids were so happy to have their daddy again. I was happy that there was someone else they could annoy:)

On the 25th January I went with mom, dad, Fajar, my brother and his wife to Singapore for my cousin, Khadijah's wedding. Throughout my 17 years in UK, I have missed so many family weddings. It is such a painful thing but finally, Allah gave me the opportunity to go to my cousin's wedding and it was such a lovely, lovely feeling: to meet all of my cousins, aunties and uncles. SubhanAllah! this was truly an experience for me.

So many of my dreams are fulfilled, hubby's here, kids are now enrolled in school and time to enter into our next phase of this 'hijrah' - moving to our new home.

I felt like I was leaving the nest again. After 17 years being away from 'home', from living with mom and dad...I wasn't ready to let go. I needed more time. In some ways, it was exciting and a relief to be able to organise my own home again but in other ways, I didn't want to leave. It felt too soon...just when I got mom and dad again.

It is so hard to explain how much I miss my parents and my sister. I missed them when I was in the UK but now, having them around me all the time and then, not being able to just knock on their door to have a chat just makes me miss them even more. When you don't know something or not have something, you won't miss it much. You might just imagine it. However, when you have experienced it and when it is reality - then, it is no longer there you really understand how much it means to you. I hope this makes sense.

I guess it is a bit like...when we think about daulah Islamiyah (Khilafah) because we have never experienced it, we can just imagine and wonder and think how it was or how it will be but once we've experienced it (insyaAllah) we wouldn't want to let go..ever...

The first few weeks at our new home was very difficult for me. I missed my mom and sister very much. You know parents may say things that annoy or irritate us sometimes, they get very worried, panicking and give unsolicited advice but none of that matters because they love you and they care about you more than anyone else in this world. Sometimes we think we know better but truth is only Allah knows everything so, listen to your parents even if you think you're right and they are wrong; (of course as long as it is in mubah issues and NOT to do with haraam things. If they ask you to do haraam/forbidden things then you MUST disobey them because our first obedience is to Allah and His Messenger)

Anyway, just talking about mubah things ONLY. Don't argue with your parents even if they say things that seem 'unislamic', take time to talk to them in a nice way. Choose the right time to correct them with love and hikmah like over a cup of tea, whilst sitting on a swing and bring your evidences from Qur'an and Sunnah. Never talk to them in a derogatory matter, never chastise them and do not raise your voice over them. Always make dua for your parents that they will receive the guidance from Allah. Hug them and tell them you love them. Read Qur'an in front of them and pray behind them to make their hearts cool. Parents with Iman will be most happy to see their child worshipping Allah.

Parents are incredible people; their dua is accepted, their touch is healing and their love is comfort.

Al-Qur'an surah Al-Isra':23-24 "And your Lord has decreed that you worship none but Him. And that you be dutiful to your parents. If one of them or both of them attain old age say not to them a word of disrespect, nor shout at them but address them in terms of honour. And lower to them the wing of submission and humility through mercy and say "My Lord! Bestow on them Your Mercy as they did bring me up when I was young."

Al-Qur'an surah Al-Ankabut: 8 "And we have enjoined on man to be good and dutiful to his parents; but if they strive to make you join with Me (in worship) anything of which you have no knowledge, they Obey them NOT. To Me is your return and I shall tell you what you used to do."


So, treat them with kindness, love and respect; listen to them in matters that are mubah but never obey them in anything haraam/forbidden or if they stop you from worshipping Allah.

I'm only saying all this because after being away from my parents for 17 years and now, knowing them again and spending time with them again. I can truly see what it means and I can truly appreciate what it means to have parents. I am so grateful to Allah to give me this opportunity to experience having my parents again and May Allah give them taufiq, hidayah and make them one of the righteous and admit them into Jannatul Firdaus. Ameen.

PS: For those of you who have lost one or both parents, it is still okay. You can make dua for your Muslim parents for forgiveness from Allah and reward.

Picture above: Swimming pool at new apartment

Things you may find useful to know when visiting Malaysia


ATM machines and money-changer

The ATM machines in Malaysia use 6-digit pin numbers but will accept 4 digit pin numbers. Make sure you choose the ATM with VISA, MAESTRO or whatever logo is on your card. Just key in your 4 digit pin number and press enter. To be extra secure, use an ATM machine attached to the bank during office hours just in case you experience any problems like the ATM 'swallowing' your card.

There are money-changers in all shopping complexes and shopping areas.

WIFI and internet
There are WIFI hot spots all over the city especially in shopping centres and malls. You will see people with their lap-tops sitting down having a drink and checking their emails.

Looking for bargains
Tourist spots are very expensive. Locals will grab bargains from places like 'pasar tani' - a weekly make shift market normally at the weekends at various locations. There, you can buy anything from fruits, vegetables, meat, dried condiments, household items, toys, clothes, CDs, plants, pet-rabbits and even a car!!! Pasar Tani is the best place to get local fruits. It is cheap, tasty (much better than buying from supermarkets). I bought a watermelon and papaya from Pasar Tani and it was hmmm...mouth wateringly juicy and sweet. Nothing like I've tasted before in the UK and it is cheap, cheap, cheap e.g. whole large papaya for less than RM3.00; get the picture????

For materials, best to go to places like Jalan Tunku Abdul Rahman; not those big shops but the little shops known as 'Aked'

For hijaab and jilbabs PKNS is a good place; you get get nice jilbabs for around RM50 - RM70.

Buying or renting a car
There are many loan schemes from Banks and some claim to be "Islamic". However, to avoid Riba completely and stay away from the syubhah you can rent a car for a reasonable price. If you wish to buy cash...you will need around RM45.000 to RM65.000 depending on what car you want. Local cars are much cheaper than foreign cars; some foreign cars will cost you around RM150.000. It is cheaper to rent a car long term than short term rent; depending on who you know...a year rental will be around RM600 - RM1000 per month. If you go to established rental companies, they will charge you around RM1400 - RM2000 depending on the car.

My advice is if you could get an AP (don't know what the procedure is); it would be better to bring back a car from the UK. You need to apply for AP first otherwise you will have to pay a tax of 150% value of the car. With an AP you only pay for shipping and some extra cost.

Hmm...what else would be useful to know? Can't think of it right now but all I can say is that shopping is wonderful in Malaysia (depending on where you go) but wherever you go, it is always full of people!

Thursday 11 March 2010

Driving in KL

Today 5th January 2010 and I drove in Malaysia for the first time. I went to Shah Alam and then, to KL. Driving in KL is something else. You must have your full concentration on the road. You must have eyes on your side and on the back of your heads. You are like a wilder-beast in the middle of the Savannah. At any time, a lion, a cheetah or a leopard is going to pounce on you from any directions. There could be a car, a lorry, a van, or motorbikes trying to cut you up from your right, your left, your front or back.

The roads are all over the place. You can go up, go down, join traffic from the right or the left. You need to really know where you're going or you will have to go an extra mile if you miss your turning.

It seems that braking is not in the highway code. People would rather change lanes and squeeze between traffic rather than to brake their cars.

Funny thing is...when one of my Malaysian friends went back to M'sia before me, she said despite all of this mess she still feels more comfortable driving in Malaysia than in the UK. I tend to agree with her. It does feel like I'm back in familiar territory even if that territory is a jungle.

Also, there is no 'hypocrisy'. What I mean is that what you see is what you get. People will drive like mad because that is how they drive. They will cut you up, change lanes, forget their signals, can't seem to find their brakes or forgotten their glasses but that is how they are. In the UK, it is nice to have people keeping lanes, observing 2-minute rule and strangers waving at one another to thank each other for giving way etc...but if you for reasons beyond your control does not return their gesture; they start to swear at you.

Once I was driving in a very narrow lane (as roads are in UK), the woman coming in the opposite direction gave way to me. I couldn't put my hand up to thank her because (I can't remember why) but I was preoccupied with something. I wasn't trying to be ungrateful or malicious or selfish but just distracted and she started swearing at me as though I owed her my life or something. People offer nice gestures but they expect something in return. If you don't return the 'favour' then, they will kick a big fuss, they will make sarcastic remarks, look at you like you're somekind of ungrateful worm or simply start to swear.

There is none of that in Malaysia. They just drive like mad.

TOP TIPS ON DRIVING IN KL

1. Make sure you have your ID card and driving licence with you at all times (in case there's a police road block or something)

2. You can renew your driving licence even if expired (cause you've been abroad) before every 5 years. So, renew your licence everytime you come back to Malaysia. Otherwise, you will have to re-take your test!!!

3. Always know where you're going first - googlemaps is like a life-saver.

The sea of life


You may notice that this blog is like a few months behind. I kept a diary of all things that happened and my thoughts and feelings at the time. Truth is that too many things happened at such a short space of time. Sometimes I felt excited, happy, elated and sometimes I felt angry, frustrated, disappointed, annoyed mainly with all the man-made rules and hurdles put in my way. Other times I felt so grateful and 'terharu' with the help that I received from such generous and caring people, even those I just got to know for the first time.

But things have passed and feelings don't remain. It's like if you're really angry with someone and you write it down in your diary about how you feel; you read it a day later and it just doesn't feel the same anymore. So, that is how I feel...that I don't need to blog them down anymore. Alhamdulillah, Allah swt says in Surah Ash Sharh: Verily, along with every hardship is relief, verily along with every hardship is relief. So when you have finished your work, devote yourself to worshipping God. And to your Lord (ALONE) turn your intentions and hope.Allah sends us hardship and then ease...this is the cycle of life, like waves on the sea, it goes up and down, like the night and the day...

There were many times when I felt so low and so down, I felt like I couldn't get any lower...the struggle to build a new life but then, the hardship passes - putting kids into school, sorting out visa, getting school transport, waiting for shipping to arrive, sorting out jobs (the biggest headache SubhanAllah!) but Allah helped me so much...and dark clouds that hung over me, the thunder and lightning that struck down and covered me with fear and despair have washed away. So, forgive me if I do not share it all with you. I just wanted to do something useful, to help others and help them to learn from my mistakes, my ignorance...

I know that there will always be another storm but right now, there are no more dark clouds, no thunder, no rain. Today is a sunny day Alhamdulillah.

Applying for Citizenship for your child

If you are Malaysian and your child is non-citizen, you can apply for citizenship with Jabatan Pendaftaran Negara (JPN). Again, most people would skip this section as it may not apply to them but I hope it is informative to many others.

This is by NO means official at all, again simply based on my understanding. For further information contact your local JPN Department. Please correct me if any of these information are wrong or if things have changed.

1. You pick up a form from JPN and fill it in; and photocopy all the documents requested e.g. child's and parent's birth certificate, passport, ID card (if you have one), marriage certificate etc...

2. Take forms and documents ALONG WITH THE ORIGINALS to JPN counter. You do not need to go to PutraJaya, you can go to any local JPN that deals with citizenship. (I must say the JPN in Shah Alam provides tip-tip service! Very clean, new building and no waiting at all). You MUST bring your child; they need to be finger-printed.

3. You need to pay RM10.00 processing fee and they will give you BORANG B which you need to apply for schooling. It is a receipt of your application.

4. The process takes 24-36 months.

5. If your application is successful, they will send you a letter inviting you to pick up another letter from KDN (Kementerian Dalam Negeri). You go to KDN at a specific time and place to pick up the letter. If you can't make that specific date, you MUST inform them in advance and organise for another date or you can pick the letter from KDN at PutraJaya. However, you must bring your child/children along.

6. After picking up that letter from KDN as a confirmation of your child's citizenship, you take the letter to any JPN and you will be asked to pay a fee of RM100 and give recent copy of passport photograph of your child (I think it is 3 copies???).

7. It then takes another 3-6 months before your child will get their certificate. Hence, they still can't apply for schooling as citizens according to Jabatan Pelajaran.

Don't know about you, I am completely lost by now and still confused about the status! Best to still apply for social pass visa.

DECLARATION: Above information is based on personal knowledge not based on any official capacity. For official information visit JPN/KDN website or please contact them directly. You will find useful addresses and phone numbers at their website

How to enrol your children into Malaysian State Schools

Enrolling your kids into a Malaysian State school is easy enough if you know what you're doing. If you're groping in the dark as I was, it can be tiresome, frustrating and time-consuming.

So, I hope to be able to give some guidance to others. This is by no means official, just based on my own experience. For further information, please contact your local State Education Department (Jabatan Pelajaran Negeri).

TOP TIPS:

1. Do your home-work. Find out about local schools in your area or the area you are planning to live in. You need to find out about transport and traffic jam, whether there are school vans or buses that go from your home. Visit the school and speak to the Principal. Speak to others who send their kids there.

2. Find out which catchment area the school falls under. To apply for the school you need to go to the Local State Education Department that deals with the school so for e.g. Jabatan Pelajaran Wilayah Persekutuan deals with schools around KL (but not all schools).

3. Go to the Jabatan Pelajaran and pick up the appropriate forms.

4. If you child is MALAYSIAN CITIZEN; the process is straight forward. You need to fill in THREE copies of "borang permohonan bersekolah di sekolah kerajaan bagi kanak2 warganegara Malaysia pulang dari luar negara". You fill in the forms and attach all photocopied documents required INCLUDING School leavers certificate (from your child's old school overseas) and Buku kemajuan sekolah (such as exam results, report card etc...). You hand in the forms and documents. DON'T FORGET to bring the originals and they will process your application within 2 weeks.

5. If your child is NON-MALAYSIAN CITIZEN, you will need to apply for student pass/visa from immigration before he/she can start schooling.

6. If your child has been given "Pengesahan taraf kewarganegaraan di bawah article 14" or if you have applied for citizenship and have "Borang B mengenai perkara article 15(2)" then, you can apply without a student pass/visa.

7. To apply as non-citizen, you will be asked to complete 3 copies of PINK FORM. You must take the forms to the school of your choice, they will sign it and endorse all of your photocopied documents. You then take the forms and documents back to the Jabatan along WITH THE ORIGINALS. They will process your application and you call them back in 2-3 weeks.

8. If your application is successful you will be called to pick up an approval letter, pay the required FEE of around RM50 (sorry, can't remember exactly) and you take the letter to the school.

Your kids can now start schooling. HOORAY!!!!

I hope you're not lost! I certainly was for about 4 weeks...but Alhamdulillah finally my kids managed to start school.


VERY IMPORTANT TIPS:
1. NEVER throw away any official documents or receipts given to you by any government agencies.

2. REMEMBER to ask for school leavers certificate from your child's overseas school before you leave the country.

Wednesday 10 March 2010

Bureaucracy, bureaucracy, bureaucracy

24th December 2009

A day before Christmas...I am imagining in Britain there will be mad rush for shopping, people going off on holidays, cooking Turkey etc...but over here, life is as usual. No shopping stress or mad rush. (there's always mad drivers though)

Anyway, today was my first encounter with the government agency. Went to KDN at PutraJaya to get a document. I was warned many times by my friends about the bureaucracy here and boy! they do not dissappoint. This was my first encounter and every encounter after that was as bad as this one...There is always something that is not right, wrong forms, wrong documents, can't find the relevant documents, need more photocopying, need documents from another agency, the person dealing with the issue has gone for lunch and the list goes on and on....

Well...at least they were very friendly and polite. When they couldn't find the document I needed. They said to me "Puan, bertenang dulu" (ma'am, be calm) and that really made me more panicked. It so happened they couldn't find the document and I had to call back. They promised to try and find it as soon as possible. Anyway, fast forward a few days...finally they found the document a week later. Point is...if you're dealing with these kind of stuff you need a lot of patience and perseverence. It is truly character building. You need to truly self-reflect. I thought about a lot of things whilst I was waiting in that air-conditioned room, in a nice comfy chair...like

1. This wait is nothing compared to the wait in Akhirah. I am comfortable, I am sitting down, it is not hot, there's no sun on top of my head and me drowning in my sweat. It made me think a lot about myself and how I have been very spoilt.

2. Have I become a very demanding Westerner expecting things to fall at my feet? Everyone else is sitting calmly...waiting and waiting...Do I lack Sabr (patience)? Am I a spoilt-brat? Is making a fuss or being over demanding or complaining too much makes me...emm...British?

Anyway, I'm sure we require a more effective and efficient system but at the same time self reflection and remembering Akhirah is a good thing.

Some useful information about Government offices:
They are usually open by 8.30am
They close for lunch between 1 - 2pm
They close and everyone ready to go home by 5pm
Make sure you bring your ID card with you; you need it to enter the building.
Bring all documents necessary plus extra photocopies
If you are waiting for a specific document to be ready for collection, call first.
Always ask the name of the person you speak to on the phone for reference when you come to pick up your document.

A typical day in Malaysia

One of the best things about living near the Equator is the same length of day and night each day. Hence, routine is very easy especially when one has to pray 5 times a day. It is very convenient.

So, life generally starts at Fajr time which is around 6 o'clock in the morning. Most people wake up at this time to pray and get ready for work/school. I can almost imagine hearing the sounds of cockerels. Today, I was one of those who stayed up after Fajr cause I'm embarassed to say...after 3 weeks I was still suffering from jet-lag. Anyway, I went with dad to visit MMC again. The journey there and back took about 2 hours. Then, I went out again with Mak and Dad to the bank and to do other chores. Then, went out again with Mak and the kids shopping. We came home around 3pm.

Whilst the kids were watching TV, I fell asleep (yup! jet-lag) and woke up around 4.30pm just in time to pray Asr. We had our tea-time (very important meal of the day) and normally this is the time to visit friends or receive guest but not today. Instead, read Qur'an with the kids and we read until Maghrib time.

After Maghrib is dinner and few more chats and stuff before going to bed. I just feel like I get so much done during the day. It is like there is a lot of Baraqah in time here....like it's always filled with something; Maybe it is just a feeling, after all how do you scientifically study such a phenomenon but I believe there is more Baraqah of time in Muslim lands. Although these lands do not implement Islam comprehensively but there is still more Baraqah, more time for silatur-Rahm, meeting and chatting with people, for ibaadah, for just being out there in the midst of life itself. I must say I barely spend more than half an hour tidying up the house everyday, thanks to tiled flooring therefore, no hoovering. Also, I'm not too bothered about the spider webs on the ceiling because spiders are actually my friends here (house spiders that is, not the poisonous kind), they eat up all the mosquitoes. Believe me! if you get 40 mosquito bites a day, you will be happy to have spiders around instead.

You know in the UK, I used to spend so much time just tidying up the house, picking up kids toys and hoovering? Well...not here. A lot of time is spent outside the house rather than inside the house. It's not about someone working or not working, being a housewife or not; it is just a different way of living, that's all.

Monday 1 March 2010

Kids being ill during the early days in Malaysia

19 December 2009

The kids have been unwell for a week especially Luqman, who developed a high temperature and lost his appetite. He is now on Antibiotics and he has become my hot water bottle at night cause he needs to be cuddled to sleep. Since arrival, the kids have not ate well despite the abundance of food and choice. It is an appetite problem. I tried to make them their favourite meals including baked potatoes and cheese, nasi lemak, briyani, tuna sandwich but they only eat a little.

I think it must be the heat. All they want to do is to drink and drink...which is good I guess.

Anyway, this lack of appetite though only lasted for 3-4 weeks Alhamdulillah then, they are back to their old self. Malik however, my son who never had an appetite in the first place lost a lot of weight and it was very scary to see him all skins and bones. Finally, his appetite too improved.

Baby blues

14th December 2009

I was feeling very 'wrong' today despite everything in reality was right. I have my family, kids are enjoying themselves but after six days in Malaysia, I was experiencing what you can call 'baby blues'.

Being around family and surrounded by people, experiencing Silatur Rahm was a great feeling. I was actually feeling very excited and happy but any change is hard even a good change.

Do you know what it's like to experience 'baby blues'? You know a few days after giving birth was like a feeling of euphoria. You feel like the happiest person in the world then, baby blues kick in...and despite everything being right, you holding this beautiful baby in your arms but there was a feeling of sadness, of being overwhelmed. For some women, they even go into depression and they don't even know why.

Not all women suffer from this feeling but if you are one of those, then you know what I mean. If you aren't then, just be grateful for it but please don't look down on other women who do.

Anyway, that was how I felt...slightly overwhelmed, slightly wrong and sad...

IN SEARCH OF THIS TRUTH

  I am in a quest to search for THIS truth. People ask, 'why are you still searching for the truth?’  You have found Islam.  You believe...