Why did I return after 17 years?

This is a common question that I get from my friends. It is a very difficult question to answer in such a short space of time. Sometimes I think I need to write a thesis about it.

Everyone lives their lives according to what they see as important at the time for e.g. you may find a woman who started off in her younger days viewing her career as the most important thing. She strives so hard to get to where she wanted to be e.g. CEO or Manager or whatever; Sometimes when she gets to where she wanted to be, she may start to evaluate her life and to some women they realized that wasn't the thing that gave them satisfaction and they start to value family life instead. This is just an example and it is purely to express how we human beings will value somethings and work towards achieving that.

For a long time I valued my life in the UK but things change, situation changes and people change and views about what is important in life changes. Of course everyone knows that the situation in UK has changed over the last 17 years that I lived there. The once very tolerant society is now plagued by 'climate of fear' created by government and media, there is 'islamaphobia' but there is also a shift in other things like the way health care is viewed and the NHS which affected me directly. There is a change in youth culture and of course, the latest is change in economic stability.

Things change sometimes for the better and sometimes for the worse...and for me, it felt that things were changing for the worse. Besides, my own personal life was changing as the kids were getting older. We all know the recent report published that Britain was the worst place to bring up children compared to other countries and Australia being one of the best. You all read that right? I would agree with that report.

Anyway, I was finding that certain things were becoming more and more important to me and that was my FAMILY. Being away from my parents, knowing that they were getting older everyday, knowing that potentially I could lose them (who knows? Ajal is from Allah). I had a real urge to return and spend whatever time Allah swt granted me with my parents.

Secondly, I wanted my children to grow up with certain moral principles and not with individualism and Capitalism. I could not bear to think that they would one day turn around and tell me "I am free to do whatever I want to do." I mean, we all know that is a farce, no body is free to do whatever they want, we are all bounded by some rules or regulations; if we do not believe in the Rule of God then, we are potentially ruled by other people who make the Laws in Parliament. The worse thing about man-made laws is that they enforce it on others but never on themselves (as demonstrated by the recent MPs scandal in Westminster).

Besides, I did not agree with this whole mentality that we should allow children to express themselves freely and if we allow them to do whatever they want, they will somehow turn out good. I don't see the logic in that. I have to admit (and some may disagree with me) that I much prefer the education system in Malaysia. I wouldn't say it is 'perfect' but I was chuffed when my daughter brought back her sivik textbook and the first lesson was on 'self-discipline'.

Anyway, I do think children should be allowed to question and to appease any misunderstandings or doubts they have. However, I think the education system in the UK promotes too much questioning but without real substance.

I know I'm rambling on about something that many will think 'what is she on about???' but in short; I returned home to be with my family, my parents, my siblings and all my extended family members...and secondly, to bring up my children in a different way.