Influences: My so-called life

This was a TV-series created in 1994; at the time I was in the UK studying A-levels. It was about a high school girl, Angela Chase and just typical high school issues, having a crush, but what intrigued me about the TV series, was the vocalization of her thoughts and I thought that was really well done. Growing up, I had this voice in my head that was just talking all the time, most of the time philosophizing, trying to make sense of everything and coming up with theories on just about anything. So, watching Angela Chase and listening to her thoughts was very refreshing. In other words, it is normal. People actually do that. I am not weird.

One of my favorite scenes was this one. 

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QIbGGwx5CS0

This was the first time I heard this great song. 

Anyway, Angela had a big crush on Jordan; and even though she was so in love with him but she had her principles and she stood for what she believed in. She didn't succumbed to pressure. She was thoughtful, intuitive. She looked quiet but when she spoke, it was really profound. I wanted to be like her. I wanted to be observant and thoughtful and introspective. I wanted to have my own principles, to stand up for what I believed in.

When it came to Brian, the neighbor who had a crush on her, she does come across as self-centered and self-absorbed and I supposed, she was oblivious to his feelings; I think that is very typical of an ordinary teenage girl. Girls are selfish; unless they have been 'brainwashed' by a patriarchal society, and trained to be submissive and to constantly 'give', with no spunk or thoughts of their own. I told my husband that girls are meant to be self-centered, it is a form of self-protection. You want girls to first learn to love themselves, to look after themselves, to have self-worth and that tinge of self-centered and selfishness will get them far in life. To be self-centered, is to be in complete control of yourself, without trying to control anyone else. You can't control anyone, you can't expect anything from anyone but at the same time, no one should expect anything from you. You can't give expecting to get something in return. That would be insincere. You can't give love, and then expect to receive love. That is why being self-centered is important for girls because being self-centered means, you are not even thinking about anyone else, you are only thinking about yourself, and learning about yourself, and getting to know yourself, and picking out the things you love about you and the things you hate, about you. You grow within yourself, to be the person that you want to be. If you have a daughter, let her be a little bit self-centered; as long as she loves her siblings (if she has any) or has one best friend that she would protect to the ends of the earth, then she is fine. 

Girls who are self-reflective, will have better awareness of their own needs, and wants, and their own feelings. It is important for girls to chase their dreams whether it is their career, or studies, or interests and hobbies. That was exactly what Angela Chase did. She had so much in her mind, she thought about stuff all the time, and her beliefs, she wanted to help people, like the episode with the angel when she was looking out for her friend Ricky. She was really loyal to her friends, More importantly, she loved herself, and her principles more than she loved the guy of her dreams. Eventually, that made Jordan fell in love with her. 

The natural process of emotional growth for girls is that the maternal instinct comes later, when they have children and that is when they will sacrifice, protect and unconditionally love their children. For a woman, their real love is for their kids. The kind of love that you would do anything and expect nothing in return. That is a mother's love. Sometimes this love is tainted by cultural obligations like the expectation that the child has to somehow 'repay' the mother, To me, that takes the pureness and sincerity away. 

I think as a young girl, I was pretty self-centered. I had my beliefs, my principles, I wanted things for myself. I wasn't too bothered about what the guys wanted. My studies were the most important thing to me and later on, my career and my achievements. I had to readjust everything when I had my first child. Suddenly, it was no more about me. It was all about the kid, and that mind shift just happened naturally. I don't think I even thought about it, or had to convince myself. It just happened. 

My so-called life was just one season. They couldn't continue because, some said the network didn't want to invest on a second season and on top of that, the hectic schedule proved too much for the young actresses and actors, especially Claire Danes, who decided she couldn't commit for the second season (according to what was written in Wikipedia), who knows what is the truth. Anyway, to me, it was a classic and it had all the important teenage growing up issues from relationship with parents, siblings, friends, love, betrayal. It dealt with difficult topics such as runaways, pimples, parental affairs, crushes. In every episode there was always something to think about. If you have teenage daughters, get them to watch 'My so-called life'. There are no cell phones, no internet, no social media, just the old fashion real life interactions and conversations.