Challenging situation advising a child on da'wah to non-Muslims

It is not easy dealing with kids. They often ask challenging questions. I think that is the reason why parents in the 'olden' days used to say "Don't ask so many questions" or I used to get something like "Only Syaitan ask too many questions" or the typical Malay response "Aku makan garam lebih lama daripada engkau" translated as "I've eaten salt longer than you."

Yeah...try saying that to children nowadays and you might just get a response such as "That's why you have high blood pressure." Kids are smart...so, we need to allow them to express themselves but they need guidance.

Anyway, my 8-year old son asked me a very important but challenging question last week. He has non-Muslim friends and he likes to play with them but sometimes he doesn't know how to deal with them. He doesn't know if he should do da'wah to them or say anything about Islam to them. He is worried that his non-Muslim friends do not know about Jannah and Jahannam. He asked me about it and I wasn't sure how to answer him.

A few days later, we went for a walk at the park and we sat down for breakfast after wards. I said to him..."you know you asked me a question before about non-Muslim friends?"

So, I tried to explain to him the best I could. This is what I said...sort of...

1. First of all the issue of Jannah and Jahannam belongs to Allah. It is not up to us and it is not in our power or control. Allah decides who He wants to put in Jannah and who He wants to put in Jahannam. All we know is what Allah says in the Qur'an. So, when Allah says in the Qur'an 3:85 "And whoever desires a religion other than Islam, it shall not be accepted from him, and in the hereafter he shall be the losers."


We just have to accept this is what Allah says cause it is His Jannah and that is what He has decided.

Sometimes it is normal for humans to say something to make people feel better such as if a person dies and someone says "Don't worry he is in a better place." Truth is can we say something that is not our decision to make? It would be different if we had the power to put people in Jannah but we don't. We can make dua for Muslims but otherwise, the best thing to say is إِنَّا لِلَّهِ وَإِنَّآ إِلَيۡهِ رَٲجِعُونَ

2. At the same time, we should be worried about our position in the hereafter rather than judging anyone else. There is no point in judging anyone. Sometimes people judge others because they are too afraid to reflect on themselves. It is much easier to just point out the faults of other people than to recognize our own faults. Sometimes we fall into the same trap by saying something like..."that person wants to judge me but he/she is not so good either..." inevitably we are judging that person and the cycle goes on and we haven't really addressed the crucial issue of self reflection.

Allah says 39:41 "Surely We have revealed to you the Book with the truth for all mankind; so whoever follows the right way, it is for his own soul and whoever errs, he errs only to its detriment; and you are not a custodian over them."

So, let's look at whether we are following the Book or are we disobeying cause it is really for our own sake in the hereafter, not for anyone else. We can give advice to people but that is about it. Everyone decides for themselves what they want to do and where they want to go.

3. Your children may want to be friends or play with non-Muslims but the most important thing is for them to know who they are, why are they Muslim and for them to be the best Muslim they can be, for the sake of Allah. No one is perfect...we all make mistakes but we need to try our best. Being Muslim does not make us better than anyone else, it just gives us the responsibility to obey Allah and to pass on the message in the best way that we can. We should be proud of Islam but never proud of ourselves. We are only the servants of Allah.

As for non-Muslims, there are many occasions where people have converted by observing Muslims rather than being told anything. However, if they ask about Islam it is important to tell them the Truth. Don't hide things from people to try to appease them. There are no favors in trying to make Islam more palatable.

Sometimes a right 'moment' may come for us to say something to someone about Islam even if it is just to make them have a better understanding but there is no need to preach to anyone. Sometimes we may say the wrong things or make mistakes but we need to learn from them. Certainly, do not call them names or degrade them or insult the things that they worship because Allah says surah 6: 108 Do not insult those whom they invoke other than Allah, lest they should revile Allah in transgression without having knowledge. This is how We have made the deeds of every community attractive in their sight. Then, to their Lord is their return, after which He shall tell them what they have been doing. 


Make people think about things, if they want to think about it...and remember, guidance is from Allah.

Al Baqarah: 256 There is no compulsion in Faith. The correct way has become distinct from the erroneous. Now, whoever rejects the Taghut (the Rebel, the Satan) and believes in Allah has a firm grasp on the strongest ring that never breaks. Allah is All-Hearing, All-Knowing.