Valentine's day: today I love you, tomorrow I hate you.

The Star Newspaper today is filled with articles promoting and explaining the reasons for celebrating Valentine’s day. 

I don’t understand the rationality behind a Malaysian newspaper promoting a celebration that was invented by the west. The origins of Valentine’s day is based on sketchy historical facts and legends but does the origin really matter? Let truth be known, that it definitely did not originate from China or Indian subcontinent, neither did it have any historical or cultural origins from this part of the world. Hence, to adopt a celebration that has no value whatsoever to one’s own historical and cultural background just because the West celebrates it is simply blind following. Nevertheless I have no reasons to advice the non-Muslims in this country about when and what days they should express their love to one another. It is up to them if they wish to copy-cat the West. 

The Western countries are notorious for their irony. It is no surprise if the origin of Valentine’s day is in actual fact an irony of the story of this man called Saint Valentines who performed secret wedding ceremonies against the ruling of the Roman emperor and he was then persecuted for it. Well, the irony is that now people celebrate ‘love’ without the actual marriage. Some Muslims may argue that they are married and would like to celebrate Valentine’s – well read on! 

My main concern is the Muslim leaders and Islamic scholars who have failed to convince the Muslim population in this country about why they should not celebrate Saint Valentine’s day. 

Is it really just about Valentine’s day? Let’s talk about unmarried couples. Are we sending a message that couples should not date on Valentines but can go out on any other day? If adhering to Islam is the issue then, isn’t it a message that couples should not date at all? And what is ‘coupling’ anyway? Why do two people go out with one another? If it is sex that they want then marriage is the only method acceptable in Islam. If it is love that they want, then Allah SWT is the only one who truly loves us. 

I mean coupling is really not that special nowadays, two people meet either on the internet or in real life, they ‘fall in love’, they go out and they break up. It is like "I love you today, I hate you tomorrow" and few weeks down the line, they meet someone else and the cycle starts again...and each time, they believe ‘this is the one’. It is almost like watching a mouse on a wheel... the mouse never goes anywhere.

So, let’s talk about Valentine’s day but let’s make it a more meaningful discussion rather than just a ‘fatwa’ on the haram of celebrating Valentine’s day. Let’s talk about what is love in Islam, how love can be pursued in the halal way and that romance and relationship also comes with responsibility.

Part of the problem is (sorry to say this but...) the Malay method of talking about Islam is pretty boring as though the only way you can pursue romance and fun is through the haram way. Why don’t we talk about how amazing love is within marriage?

We know that the only one who truly deserves our heart is Allah SWT. He made us, he gave us life, gives us everything we have. He was there before we were born and He will be there after we die. There is nothing else like him. There is nothing out there that can give us help, guidance, protection and security like Him. 

Then of course, the Prophet Muhammad SAW who sacrificed his whole life to bring us the message from Allah SWT; the real life example of a man who was the best leader, the best husband, the best father and the best companion.

The people who deserve our love are our family members, our parents, our siblings, aunts and uncles. It is the people who help us grow up, nurtured us, looked after us and protected us until we were able to stand on our own two feet. 

Then, comes that special person in our life, the one who deserves our affection and love is our spouse; the husband or wife. The person who has took that step to commit him or herself to us. It is the person who has taken the vow or pledge to build a life with us, to support us through thick and thin, who accepts us for what we truly are, who goes through our happy and sad times, sharing our hopes and dreams, the one who forgives us again and again for our mistakes. 

These are the people who deserve our love and we do not need some pagan or roman or western day of murky origin to express our love and affection. And the experts are right, these kinds of celebrations are haram but why do we need to copy the west? Why do we need to follow the non-Muslims in this country who wish to copy the west? Allah SWT has given us a good brain so let’s use it for a good purpose. Think about how we should behave as Muslims rather than to copy people who have no real guidance.

For a Muslim woman, you are the most special and beautiful thing in the world and it is up to you to value yourself the way that Allah SWT has put value on you. Allah SWT has put Jannah (syurga) at your feet as a mother; he has given you special rights to enter Paradise from any door you want just by being a good wife and He has given fathers the opportunity to enter Paradise if he can fulfil his responsibility to bring up his daughters with love and correct guidance. You deserve more than flowers on Valentine’s day or some crappy dinner. You deserve a good husband who loves you, protects you, looks after you and provides for you. 

For a Muslim man, you are the hope of this ummah to lead the Muslim ummah from our current state of darkness into a state of light and advancement. For that purpose, you need to fulfil your role and responsibility given to you by Allah SWT. You are our leaders, you are our knights and you are the protectors of this Deen. We do not want you to give us Valentine flowers or cards. We certainly do not need your sweet words to get us into bed. You will not make us disobey Allah SWT. Rather, we want you to protect us and give us our rights, to lead us with the beauty of Islam.