Diary: Returning home: I want something but I'm not getting it, why?

Was listening to this talk by Yasmin Mogahed on youtube titled "Why can't I get what I want (click to listen) ". She explained it so simply and beautifully. Of course...the reason is that we have made the thing that we want our goal or objective and then we ask Allah to give us the thing that we want. So, Allah becomes the means or like a 'genie in a bottle'. The correct way round would be Allah SWT is our goal and everything else becomes a means or a tool to get closer to Him.

She gave a very simple example of 'wanting to marry person X'. Marriage is a good thing in Islam, it fulfills half of our religion but if we make marrying person X our goal such as we want person X. We pray to Allah SWT to give us person X then, we are actually having the wrong goal cause how can we make person X our goal? Rather, Allah SWT is our goal and if we want to use marriage as a tool to get closer to Allah SWT then, we should ask for a husband or wife that will be good for us, someone who can lead us closer to Allah SWT.

This is because Allah SWT knows best and He knows what is good or bad for us. He has knowledge of the past, future and present. Person X maybe bad for us and instead person Y may be good for us. It is not even about person X whether he/she is good or bad. He/she could be a wonderful person, who knows? but the point is he/she may not be good for strengthening our relationship with Allah. Allah knows and we do not know.

This would be the same for anything in this life cause anything could be made into our goal e.g. a particular job, wealth, business contract, children, house, car etc... For example, a couple wants a child. This yearning for a child can be so engulfing and it can take over a person's whole life and existence. We then justify this intense yearning by saying that having a child is a good thing in Islam, it is encouraged by our Prophet SAW. So we pray and pray to Allah SWT for a child but it doesn't happen. We then start to feel frustrated and angry and wonder why...after all, having a child is good. Again, it brings us back to the issue of our goal. Our goal is to please Allah SWT and having a child is not the goal. Allah SWT can give us one, two, three or more children as He pleases. He can give us none at all... but Allah SWT knows best. If we make Allah the goal then whatever He gives us, we will trust that is the best for us.

We should make dua and we are encouraged to make dua to Allah for whatever halal things that we want but remember, we only want it if it is good for us in this life and the hereafter.

Listening to the talk, it just brings me back to my purpose in life which is to worship Allah SWT.

I have come to the conclusion that all human beings have the capability to be whatever good or bad that anyone else can be. Nobody is all good and nobody is all bad except the Prophets who were protected by Allah SWT (Maksum). We all have the potential to be led astray and we all have the potential to do great things for the Deen. Allah SWT gave us beautiful examples from the companions of the Prophet SAW from Umar Al Khattab who was fearless and strong and harsh to Abu Bakar as Siddiq who was gentle and kind...no matter what type of person we are, we have the potential to be a beacon of light or a bearer of darkness. It is up to us to make that choice and to decide what we truly want in life. What is our purpose? What is our goal?

Sometimes people lose their way but Allah SWT gives us many chances, to repent, to find the right path again and again. We should never give up hope in Allah SWT because Allah SWT does not give up hope on us. He tests us for our own good and sometimes He gives us what we want and sometimes He doesn't. He is not obliged to give us anything and yet, he is Al Wahhab (the Bestower) He gives and gives and gives...

We do not know the ending of our life but what we know for sure is we will all end up on the day of judgment, facing Allah SWT - our true goal and our true destiny. Why can't I have what I want? Well, I know the answer for sure, it is because Allah SWT loves me and if I ask Allah SWT for something and I do not get it, it is because He knows what is good for me and inshaAllah He will give me something better either in this life or the akhirah...