How life is back in UK

After having a lovely chocolate cake from ASDA, I got ready to leave my auntie’s house and got into my new VW silver Polo computerised manual nipply little car. It is such a nice car to drive. The engine is smooth and when I go into neutral, the engine switches off automatically and restarts when I press on the clutch. How cool is that? Love it! Love it! Wish I could get one of those. I was looking at car prices as I drove past some 2nd hand car shops and you can get 2nd hand BMW as low as GBP4000. There was one gorgeous silver sports BMW for GBP9000. Wow!!! I wonder why I didn’t bring one of those back to Malaysia.

Anyway, I was driving along and it was a nice orderly traffic and I went down through Blackwall tunnel and it felt so familiar, driving along the A2 and took the exit onto Lewisham. I remembered my old hospital, Lewisham University Hospital. There were such fond memories. Anyway, I went to my mother in law’s house. We chatted and chatted and went to bed.

The next day I left early for an appointment and managed to visit my old workplace. The receptionist greeted me with hugs and some of the patients were asking me to come back for good. I told them I can’t leave my parents now and I have to look after them. Had a bit of a chat with the practice manager talking about the politics of the NHS and the changes brought in by the new government. So, doctors are back to becoming managers again with the middle men out of the picture. There’s a lot of fear, more work, more responsibility but also more opportunities for young GPs to be part of the steering group or even opportunity to be part of the postgraduate training. I knew I always had that opportunity but it was my family issues that kept me back, raising four children with no help...in a land where you felt you couldn’t trust anyone...it was hard but look at me now, I have travelled half way round the world leaving my kids on the other side...have I changed? Have my mentality changed or is the reality different? What would happen if I were to come back, would I grab these opportunities and still have the mentality of complete reliance on Allah (Tawakkal) for the safety and development of my children or would I feel guilty, fear...and the need to control everything? Slowly...slowly that would probably be the case as society shapes the way we feel and think. It would be the pressure on me telling me I am a bad parent for ‘choosing’ career over parenthood. I wonder why British society tries so hard to make mothers feel inadequate, probably a subtle way of subjugating women.

Then, I went to Croydon town centre to do some shopping. I was just grabbing stuff like a wealthy Arab. I have to say shopping in London is great especially if you know where to look for bargains. For lunch, I had baked potatoes with cheese filling. Hmmm.... then I went to visit another friend of mine and evening, I went with one of my friends to a sister’s party. It was the best thing ever...to meet up with all my old friends eating, chatting and playing some games. They are such a rowdy and competitive bunch but Alhamdulillah in an atmosphere of emaan (ehem...) but they surely know how to have a good time in a completely halal way. I said to them “sisters...I left you for one year and what has happened???” it was fun! I miss them all soooo...much. I doubt you can find anyone like these sisters anywhere else in the world. We stayed chatting and drinking tea until 2am and finally went home.