Setting your own pace

6th April 2010

Alhamdulillah, things have settled down. From the time we first came home...all the bureaucracy, the visa, the interviews, the wait...now, things are in place and the pieces of the jigsaw is starting to form a picture. It may not be completed yet but at least you can see a picture emerging.

Everyone around me have been kind and helpful. However, it is important for me to set my own pace. There is a lot of learning to be done even for example, the roads in Malaysia. I've got lost several times just because I missed my turning and having to go through the whole of KL to get to where I wanted to go. It was terribly frustrating but that is part of the learning process. Next time, I know (or hope) that I won't make the same mistake again. I will insyaAllah NOT miss my exit. There have been times when I've taken the wrong turning and ended up going through a short cut...so, I've also learned something from my mistake...something good. That is life.

I've spent the last 3-4 months learning the Malaysian system especially when it comes to immigration. How to apply for visa for your spouse, your kids, where is Lembaga Hasil Dalam Negeri or what is it? It was a very steep learning curve...and now, I'm learning about the health system in Malaysia and my responsibilities at work.

It is very interesting and challenging. I am the type of person who likes to know how things work. Some people can just jump in and start doing things and experiment with new ideas; these people are known as the Activists but not me. I like to observe first and get to know the bigger picture. It is important for me to know my role within that bigger picture...and at the moment I'm starting to get a visual image of the bigger picture. When I can see my role within that bigger picture then, I can start to fly...

I also realise that I'm joining a highway of people...it's like if you're driving on a highway, you know that everyone has already set their pace and they are comfortable with that environment. I'm just joining the highway but I've been lucky that I manage to join the other traffic with ease but I still haven't decided on my pace or which lane I should go into, should I stay on the slow lane, middle lane or the overtaking lane. I'm still watching for large heavy vehicles, for sign boards, for other cars that are driving at 100mph.

What I'm trying to say is that you will take a bit of time to get familiar with your new life. You need time to know the system, to adjust and to be comfortable with your surroundings. I believe this is a normal process. There are still days when I ask myself, "Why am I here?" but those times are getting rare. There is no doubt that I miss certain things in the UK but I'm starting to feel that I belong here. Besides, if all else fails...I just look at my kids and I know no matter where we are, we'll be okay as long as we're together. May Allah keep us in His Protection at all times. Amin.