Missing UK

31st March 2010

I was feeling UK-sick today. I don't know why. Generally I feel happier here in Malaysia. Of course having family close by is the source of all happiness but also I am enjoying work.

At the same time, I'm feeling a bit like 'fish out of water'. I miss certain things in the UK. I miss my friends. I went for lunch today and walking around, it suddenly dawned on me that I missed UK. I miss certain things like everyone speaking with an English accent or listening to the BBC news and sarcasm...hmmm...what would I do without sarcasm??? I miss watching Doctor Who, although I believe the new series have not started yet. I miss having salads. I miss going to work and actually knowing what I'm doing like which forms to fill in, who to refer to and which medications I'm allowed or not allowed to prescribe.

I know this is all new to me and it is normal to feel out of place or lack of knowledge in a new environment. There's so much to learn and I miss my 'comfort' zone. I don't know how I would feel if I was back in the UK even for a holiday. It would be really weird and I think I would feel absolutely devastated if I did have to go back for whatever reason; other than a short holiday to visit friends.

Things are much more relaxed here. Everyone just seem to take their own sweet time and it is nice to be able to talk to anyone anywhere. I was on my way home from work and there was a dreadful traffic jam. We were barely moving at all so, I stopped by the petrol station. Whilst I was filling up, the lady who works there asked if I was okay and I just started chatting to her, asking her if she knew why there was a traffic jam. She told me there's flooding and so, just started asking her how long she's been working there. She told me she's worked there for years and that is where she finds her Rizk; I told her that the only thing that is important is to find Halaal Rizk and she agreed. She started cleaning my windscreen and afterwards, I drove back into the traffic jam feeling very relaxed.

These were the kind of things I missed when I was in the UK, just genuine encounters with people. People who would give you their time and not look at you like you're about to blow them up! People who smile at you from their hearts and not eye you with mistrust. Sometimes in the UK people do smile back at me after I smile at them, I usually smile at people even if they look at me in a weary way. Still, it is not the same...May Allah always preserve the Iman and the love in our hearts.

Family outing, Rizk and lightning.

After 3 months...finally I feel settled here. We started our weekend with a shopping trip and dinner at KFC. Everyone in UK says the best part about living in a Muslim country is the halaal food. I agree that there's more choice of halaal food around including fast-food. Still, with the recent news of halaal stamps being bought from private company, one has to be very careful where one eats.

I feel like I've learned a lot within this 3 months about myself, about others, about Malaysia and about life itself. Things are a lot more uncertain here but there is more need to rely on Allah and to constantly seek for His Help, His Mercy and Guidance. I think finally...or should I say at last I've understood Rizk (Rezeki). We always say Rizk is from Allah but in the UK, this concept is tainted by the Government's Benefit system and people feel that their reliance is on the state. In a country where there is no Benefit system, people who lost their jobs or not yet found a job or works hard to earn a living; they somehow still get their Rizk and sometimes the Rizk comes through sources you do not expect. The difference is that people work harder to attain their rizk, to fulfil their responsibility to their families.

Since I've been here and going through all the challenges I went through; the concept of Rizk, Tawakkal, Sabr have all become very real to me; it's no longer theoretical. You need to hold on to these things in order to survive. It is like being trapped on a sailboat in the middle of a thunderstorm; you really have no choice, you have to put your Trust in Allah.

The other day I was at work and it was 2 more minutes to home-time. I could hear the sound of thunder in a distance. I thought to myself...if I don't leave now I'm going to be caught in a thunderstorm. So, I grab my things and got in the car. The wind was strong but there was no rain yet. I drove at maximum speed limit. Then suddenly as I got closer to the city-centre, I could see the lightning. It came from the heavens and struck the ground, one after another. As I got even closer to the centre of KL, the lightning was almost within my reach. The sound of the lightning strike was enough to put fear into my heart. I couldn't do anything else apart from reciting Qur'an and just trying to keep my hands on the steering wheel. You know sometimes you watch the documentary of people who actually chase storms. They will be talking about the storm and how great it is, with their windscreen wipers full blast and a tornado right next to their 4X4. I always thought those people were mad and here I was inside the eye of the storm itself (but not by choice). Lightning was striking from my front, my back and the side of the car. Suddenly all the other cars were behaving themselves, 2-second rule was observed and nobody tried to cut anyone up and they had their signals on. "One good thing about rain in Malaysia" I thought. The rain fell down like someone had just switched on the shower tap; it was terrential! I could barely see outside the windscreen and we were crawling our way in the rain at 10km/hr.

It made me think about life. We go through life and sometimes we will be trapped in a thunderstorm. You can't stop (cause the cars behind you will start beeping), you can't escape and all you have to do is to just wade yourself through it until the thunderstorm ends with a lot of Faith and Tawakkal in Allah.

It made me think about how close I am to Allah; to His Creation of something great and terribly powerful. Yet, who is more powerful? The lightning or the One who made the lightning. thunderstorms and lightning seems to be a daily occurence here at the moment but it never fails to make me feel awed by the magnificent power of God's Creation.