This is a conversation between a mum and her 12-year old daughter about LOVE, LIFE and RELATIONSHIPS… you may think she is too young but believe me, it is never too young to start understanding these things…
A mum and her daughter sat at a coffee shop. The daughter felt special to spend some quality time with her mom. The mom was having a cup of coffee and a donut whilst the daughter had a cup of tea with a sandwich. They sat in silence for a little while until mom broke the silence and said…
Mom: You know babe, I’m going to give you some advice, something that no one told me when I was growing up and I had to find out myself and sometimes through the hard way. I wish to protect you from all the mistakes I’ve ever made but I know I can’t, only Allah SWT can do that but I hope that I can teach you some things, give you bits of knowledge to help you deal with some serious stuff in your life.
The daughter gave mom a blank stare…as she normally does when mum has something serious to say. Mom is used to that so mom continued…
Mom: I’m going to give you three lessons about life and I want you to listen carefully. These are lessons about LOVE, life and relationships…
Daughter: (Blink, still staring into space)
Mom: The first lesson is to fill 99% of your heart with the love of Allah SWT and the Prophet Muhammad (saw) and only leave 1% of your heart for the love of the people. When I say the people I mean everyone including your mom, your dad, your siblings, your family, your friends and in the future, your husband.
Daughter: (Looked perplexed but found the voice to say) Why only 1%?
Mom: Well because people are people, people might disappoint you, they might hurt you, break your trust even your parents might do those things or if you love someone so much and they die… they might still leave you in that way but Allah SWT will never leave you, never disappoint you and will never betray you. When your heart is filled with the love of Allah, no matter what people do to you, you will never feel so bad because your heart is already full but if you do not fill your heart with Allah SWT then, you might end up filling it with rubbish.
Daughter: What kind of rubbish?
Mom: Well…rubbish such as the love of men who is not related to you.
Daughter: Like boyfriends?
Mom: Exactly and once you fill your heart with rubbish, it is not easy to get rid of it.
Daughter: Oh! Like when my room is full of rubbish, it is not easy to tidy it all up?
Mom: Yeah, that’s right.
(by the way, we’re not saying men are rubbish but to fill your heart with someone who is unrelated and irrelevant to you that is like filling your room with rubbish)
SO LESSON ONE IS TO FILL 99% OF YOUR HEART WITH THE LOVE OF ALLAH SWT AND ONLY 1% WITH THE LOVE OF EVERYONE AROUND YOU INCLUDING YOUR PARENTS, SIBLINGS, FAMILY, FRIENDS AND HUSBAND.
PEOPLE CAN HURT YOU, BETRAY YOU OR LEAVE YOU THROUGH DEATH OR OTHER WAYS BUT ALLAH WILL NEVER EVER LEAVE YOU...
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Monday, 17 October 2011
Saturday, 3 September 2011
HOW MUCH ARE WE AWARE OF OURSELVES...OF OTHERS...OF EVERYTHING?
Have you ever felt terribly annoyed by a shopper blocking your way? You’re pushing your trolley along this aisle and they’re standing there staring at a tin of tomato completely oblivious to you? Yes... it happens all the time.
When I was in the UK, these things don’t happen often. Most of the time people are aware of other people and often responsive to the needs of others e.g. opening doors for other people, helping someone with a heavy suitcase... but sometimes when they do block the aisle... it is because the person has made a conscious decision that they have the ‘rights’ to be there...that their individualistic rights to be in the middle of the aisle is more important than anyone else’s right of way...it is a totally selfish individualistic but conscious decision...
When I keep facing this kind of similar behaviour in Malaysia... initially I started to believe that people were terribly individualistic and selfish... but after a while I start to realize that most of the time people are genuinely unaware... they are simply unaware that they are standing in the middle of the aisle blocking other people’s way. It is not because of a self conscious decision to be selfish and individualistic but rather their level of consciousness of their surroundings is at a minimum level...
This is something that I have come to notice more and more... the lack of awareness... people are walking around, driving around almost subconsciously. How many people out there are just living day to day...going to work, completing chores, studying but completely unaware of themselves, of others, of their surroundings and of the bigger issues that dictate what goes on in the world?
Awareness is the state or ability to perceive, to feel, or to be conscious of events, objects or sensory patterns.
Self awareness is an important aspect of human psychology and scientists have dedicated time and research in understanding the development of self awareness and awareness of others in children. It is thought that intelligence is related to early development of awareness. Children start to become aware or conscious of themselves around the age of 1-2 years old...and it is a process that they go through until they reached the age of 4-5 years old...
Islam teaches us the most fundamental issues of awareness. The process of awareness that should make Muslims achieve the highest level of intelligence.
1. Awareness of the existence of God – it is not sufficient to simply believe in God as a form of theoretical or knowledge rather, this believe should instigate an awareness in the believer that God exists and He is present at all times.
Allah SWT says in 50:16 “And indeed We have created man, and We know what his ownself whispers to him And we are nearer to him than his jugular vein.”
This is awareness for us...this should provoke an awareness inside us that God is nearer to us than ourselves...
The Prophet SAW says in hadith of Jibrail when he SAW explained about ihsan. He said “It is to worship Allah as though you are seeing Him and while you see Him not, yet truly He sees you.”
2. Awareness of the Qur’an being word of God – Often Muslims are taught to respect the Qur’an, in awe of the Qur’an, to recite and memorize it but how often are we taught to be aware of the Qur’an being the speech of Allah... that each word has meaning and implications in our lives? Such awareness should propel us into action... into being the person that the Qur’an tells us to become.
3. Self awareness – Islam teaches us to be aware of ourselves, our thoughts, our ideas, our feelings and behaviour. It tells us to self- reflect (muhasabah) or in the Western world it is known as reflective practice...to look back upon our day and reflect upon our deeds, to improve ourselves everyday... to critically analyse ourselves and to change any negative thoughts or actions into positive ones...
Allah SWT says in 50: 17 – 18 “(Remember) that the two receivers (recording angels) receive each human being, one sitting on the right and one on the left. Not a word does he or she utter but there is a watcher by him ready (to record it)
4. Awareness of others – islam also teaches us to be aware of others...aware of their thoughts, feelings, behaviours, wants and needs...to treat people with kindness and respect. To deal with problems justly and in accordance to the shariah...to have good manners towards others and to be harsh against those who insult Islam.
5. Awareness of the environment and surroundings – Islam creates a sense of awareness inside us to care for the environment, living creatures and our surroundings. Abu Hurayra reported that the Prophet SAW said “a man came across a thorn in the road and said, ‘I will remove this thorn so that it does not harm a Muslim.’ For that reason he was forgiven”
6. Awareness of halal and haram – regardless of whether a Muslim adheres to the shariah, one should still be aware of halal and haraam, right and wrong, good and bad...how the shariah is a guidance and should dictate how a Muslim should live and how the shariah should organize the society. This is awareness of the system...the Islamic system.
7. Awareness of the political situation of the Ummah. The Prophet SAW says “those who go to sleep not thinking about the affairs of the Ummah is not one of us” and “those who wake up without thinking about the affairs of the ummah is not one of us."
Hence, awareness should be the core feature of the Muslim’s mind and being. The simple day to day activities such as courtesy whilst shopping, safe driving, opening doors for others are basic awareness that should be as natural as breathing. The higher level functioning of our mind should be awareness of ourselves, our actions, our surroundings and how we interact with ourselves, others and our relationship with Allah SWt...this is perfectly demonstrated by Ali r.a when he was in the midst of a battlefield and he was about to kill his enemy but his enemy spat at him and so, he released him out of fear that he would kill the man because of anger rather than for the worship of Allah SWT. This is the elevated personality with true awareness of himself, of his enemy, of his surrounding and of his relationship with Allah.
We too need to develop this awareness...the true awareness for us to become the exemplary character.
When I was in the UK, these things don’t happen often. Most of the time people are aware of other people and often responsive to the needs of others e.g. opening doors for other people, helping someone with a heavy suitcase... but sometimes when they do block the aisle... it is because the person has made a conscious decision that they have the ‘rights’ to be there...that their individualistic rights to be in the middle of the aisle is more important than anyone else’s right of way...it is a totally selfish individualistic but conscious decision...
When I keep facing this kind of similar behaviour in Malaysia... initially I started to believe that people were terribly individualistic and selfish... but after a while I start to realize that most of the time people are genuinely unaware... they are simply unaware that they are standing in the middle of the aisle blocking other people’s way. It is not because of a self conscious decision to be selfish and individualistic but rather their level of consciousness of their surroundings is at a minimum level...
This is something that I have come to notice more and more... the lack of awareness... people are walking around, driving around almost subconsciously. How many people out there are just living day to day...going to work, completing chores, studying but completely unaware of themselves, of others, of their surroundings and of the bigger issues that dictate what goes on in the world?
Awareness is the state or ability to perceive, to feel, or to be conscious of events, objects or sensory patterns.
Self awareness is an important aspect of human psychology and scientists have dedicated time and research in understanding the development of self awareness and awareness of others in children. It is thought that intelligence is related to early development of awareness. Children start to become aware or conscious of themselves around the age of 1-2 years old...and it is a process that they go through until they reached the age of 4-5 years old...
Islam teaches us the most fundamental issues of awareness. The process of awareness that should make Muslims achieve the highest level of intelligence.
1. Awareness of the existence of God – it is not sufficient to simply believe in God as a form of theoretical or knowledge rather, this believe should instigate an awareness in the believer that God exists and He is present at all times.
Allah SWT says in 50:16 “And indeed We have created man, and We know what his ownself whispers to him And we are nearer to him than his jugular vein.”
This is awareness for us...this should provoke an awareness inside us that God is nearer to us than ourselves...
The Prophet SAW says in hadith of Jibrail when he SAW explained about ihsan. He said “It is to worship Allah as though you are seeing Him and while you see Him not, yet truly He sees you.”
2. Awareness of the Qur’an being word of God – Often Muslims are taught to respect the Qur’an, in awe of the Qur’an, to recite and memorize it but how often are we taught to be aware of the Qur’an being the speech of Allah... that each word has meaning and implications in our lives? Such awareness should propel us into action... into being the person that the Qur’an tells us to become.
3. Self awareness – Islam teaches us to be aware of ourselves, our thoughts, our ideas, our feelings and behaviour. It tells us to self- reflect (muhasabah) or in the Western world it is known as reflective practice...to look back upon our day and reflect upon our deeds, to improve ourselves everyday... to critically analyse ourselves and to change any negative thoughts or actions into positive ones...
Allah SWT says in 50: 17 – 18 “(Remember) that the two receivers (recording angels) receive each human being, one sitting on the right and one on the left. Not a word does he or she utter but there is a watcher by him ready (to record it)
4. Awareness of others – islam also teaches us to be aware of others...aware of their thoughts, feelings, behaviours, wants and needs...to treat people with kindness and respect. To deal with problems justly and in accordance to the shariah...to have good manners towards others and to be harsh against those who insult Islam.
5. Awareness of the environment and surroundings – Islam creates a sense of awareness inside us to care for the environment, living creatures and our surroundings. Abu Hurayra reported that the Prophet SAW said “a man came across a thorn in the road and said, ‘I will remove this thorn so that it does not harm a Muslim.’ For that reason he was forgiven”
6. Awareness of halal and haram – regardless of whether a Muslim adheres to the shariah, one should still be aware of halal and haraam, right and wrong, good and bad...how the shariah is a guidance and should dictate how a Muslim should live and how the shariah should organize the society. This is awareness of the system...the Islamic system.
7. Awareness of the political situation of the Ummah. The Prophet SAW says “those who go to sleep not thinking about the affairs of the Ummah is not one of us” and “those who wake up without thinking about the affairs of the ummah is not one of us."
Hence, awareness should be the core feature of the Muslim’s mind and being. The simple day to day activities such as courtesy whilst shopping, safe driving, opening doors for others are basic awareness that should be as natural as breathing. The higher level functioning of our mind should be awareness of ourselves, our actions, our surroundings and how we interact with ourselves, others and our relationship with Allah SWt...this is perfectly demonstrated by Ali r.a when he was in the midst of a battlefield and he was about to kill his enemy but his enemy spat at him and so, he released him out of fear that he would kill the man because of anger rather than for the worship of Allah SWT. This is the elevated personality with true awareness of himself, of his enemy, of his surrounding and of his relationship with Allah.
We too need to develop this awareness...the true awareness for us to become the exemplary character.
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