Elixir of life and true happiness

"Choose to be happy" the title of a book I'm reading. I love it, it is funny, makes me think and gives me good quotes to share on Facebook. There's this part of the book that talks about acceptance of the aging process but at the same time, do not accept unhappiness as part of it. The author says very simply "Aging is a natural process of life and you are either going to get old or die young - take your pick." but the author also says that we should "never lose the child inside you."

Well, that doesn't mean we must remain childish, spoiled and immature, It just means that we do not have to grow old miserable and bitter. When I think about my life and watching my children grow up, I can't think of a better stage to be in (Alhamdulillah). 

Why not? as a baby or toddler, we hardly knew what's going on and if we're lucky, we would have loving and nurturing parents. As a school aged child, school (no matter how fun) was still a drag. There's homework, studying, stress of exams and school rules! Give me a million pounds, I still wouldn't want to go through all that a second time around. As a teenager, there's peer pressure, finding one's identity, having to conform to what is 'cool' and what isn't. I hated all that "conforming" and at the same time, you either conform or rebel. I chose to rebel. Well, that was not great either. 

Then, going through medical school, I don't know how I survived it. I used to get nightmares even after many years of getting my degree. Yup! nightmares on having to sit for exams. At the same time, there was the stress of finding the "right" person, getting married and finding out whether you're compatible or not. Then, before you know it the baby arrives, there's nappies, milk bottles, waking up at night and baby stains all over your clothes.   

What about working life? Yup! you're having to "prove" your worth and climb up the ladder, there's always some miserable soul out there who is stabbing people from the back and office politics blah blah...at the same time, you work too hard and earn too little and struggling to make ends meet. You're juggling work, house work and babies...and before you knew it, you look in the mirror and you have no idea who is the person staring back at you. 

Finally, you come to a stage where you realize "YOU KNOW WHAT! NOTHING MATTERS THAT MUCH!". You start to slow down and instead of 'chasing' life...why don't you just enjoy the process of living. All your dreams and things in this world that you were chasing after...it is not the ultimate goal. Yes...it is important to have a career, to have family, to have a life partner, to have good friends but after having it all, you realize that the thing that can truly satisfy is the remembrance of Allah SWT and doing things for his sake alone. Do your work well because you want to please Him by fulfilling your obligation as a worker. Look after your children well because you want to gain the reward of being a good mother or father. Treat people well because you want Allah SWT to write you down with good deeds. 

At this stage, you would have found yourself, you know who you are and you know what you want; or at least what you don't want. You know what's important to you and what's not important. You have developed that inner confidence and know your self worth. You no longer bother too much if people like you or not and peer pressure? forget that! You have your principles and you know what is right and wrong especially as a Muslim, Islam has defined it clearly for you. You are not so easily influenced and not bother too much about what people say about you to your face or behind your back. You became more self reflective, if you think you are wrong then you attempt to improve yourself but if you think you are right, then let the whole world say you're wrong and it doesn't matter. 

You take one day at a time, knowing that problems have a way of solving itself as long as you take the pro active measures to work things out. You stop worrying too much because you realize worrying will not help situations, doing practical and necessary steps will. You don't worry about the future because you come to believe and be convinced more and more that the future is in Allah's hands and He determines everything. You only need to fulfill your part of the bargain, which is to carry your responsibility. 

You realize at last that money does not buy happiness. It can buy you food, clothing, shelter, medicine and education, help you pay the bills and transportation which are the essential needs of modern living but it won't buy you happiness. Also, time and time again you come to understand that although accountancy makes perfect sense and budgeting is an important skill but there's also such a thing as "magic". Well, more like Rizk min Allah. Do you ever wonder why if you're feeling tight and struggling financially that you are told to give some money for charity or do a good deed for someone? Well...that is the magic. The more you give, the more God gives you back. 

So, I guess this is growing up...maybe this is what they call maturity. I don't know...but I certainly know that most of us feel comfortable at this stage of our lives Alhamdulillah. So, enjoy life...and do it in the way the follows the guidance (Qur'an and sunnah), be grateful for every single day and every single breath and give attention to little things like birds singing, children's laughter, sipping coffee...all these pleasures in life.