What is the real strength in character? A lesson from a child

On Thursday, the last day of school my daughter's school was celebrating teacher's day and the children were told to wear nice clothes. Unfortunately due to a miscommunication, the message didn't reach me and my poor child went to school in her uniform. Her eyes filled with tears as soon as she saw her friends dressed up in beautiful baju kurung and the boys in baju melayu. I felt terrible but I took her hand, explained the situation to her class teacher and left her in good hands.

It may seem small but to a child...it is a first step in facing a hardship and dealing with disappointments. I watch my children grow up and see all the little hardships they face, the disappointments, the changes they have had to deal with, moving to a different country, changing schools, making new friends, going through a separation, adjusting to new family life; and sometimes it seems too much to handle but I see so much strength in them SubhanAllah! 

Life is full of hardships and disappointments but these difficulties are the building blocks of our strength and character.When I asked my brother who is an ex-MCKK "Would you send your boys to a boarding school despite all the stories we hear today of alleged bullying?" His answer was simply "YES" and his reasoning: it was those hardships that made him who he is today. It made him strong, resilient and a fighter. 

Everyone faces hardship but just by mere survival is not good enough. For a person to go through a test and to come out angry, bitter, vengeful and unrepentant does not do justice to the wealth that lies behind those hardships. Hardships are meant to shape us into better people, to elevate oneself to become wiser, more humble, more patient, more forgiving and more understanding. I consider this as true victory. Those who are cancer survivors and become volunteers for cancer support groups. Those who lose children through horrifying events and become champions in saving other families from similar fate. Those who survive through war and volunteers to help war victims. Those who go through difficult relationships and are able to solve their differences and become friends. 

I've had a fair share of frictions with various individuals throughout my life but we have been able to resolve matters and be friends. I have so much respect for them and are proud to be their friends, May Allah SWT reward them. 

So, when I picked my daughter up from school at the end of the day, I was pleased to see her smiling, laughing and playing with her friends. She had totally forgotten about what she was wearing and neither of us spoke about it. She was simply excited to tell me all about her interesting day of eating sweets and playing games, Alhamdulillah. 

"Remember, happy people have often experienced as much adversity as those who are unhappy. What sets them apart is that they have the good sense to manage their memories in a way that enriches their lives."

- Life lessons from the monk who sold his ferrari-