Tips on the phases of relocating from London to M'sia

Life is good Alhamdulillah. I have learned that life is always good if we remember to be grateful to Allah SWT and to have complete trust in Him.

Since I came back to Malaysia, at least another eight of my friends have also returned and not to mention so many others whom have returned before me. I am certain there are many whom I do not know of but have also decided to relocate back to Malaysia.

I have come to a conclusion that there are several things in common amongst those who return from London to Malaysia. Therefore, I would like to provide some tips based on our experiences to those intending to return to Malaysia.

1. When you first come back you will experience the feeling of complete excitement. After all, for most of us, we were born here and grew up here. You will enjoy the 'honeymoon' period, you will appreciate all the little things such as the sound of Adhan (well, I did and still do), the prayer room at every shopping mall and petrol station, the pasar tani, the variety of food and fruits, the 'Teh tarik', the scenery, the people. Everything is new and yet, reminds you of your past.

2. After the 'honeymoon' period which may last up to 2-3 months, you will start to experience some amount of frustration as you encounter things like government agencies, visa issues, work issues and bureaucracy. You will experience the stress of driving and wish that you were back in the UK. You will start to miss certain things like proper driving, efficient system and professionalism. Well, I call this the 'adjustment' period. Things are different here but different doesn't mean better or worse.

Somethings are definitely deficient but other things are better and may compensate for the things that you are missing from the UK. During this period, you may not be able to exactly pin point what are the things that you miss or why you miss them but it doesn't matter, your feelings are validated. You have spent a certain amount of time abroad whether it is 5 years or 17 years (like myself) but you are used to a particular system and now, you have to re-adjust yourself and your expectations. It is not easy and you might feel the resistance to change. Resistance is good because you need to hold on to the good things, the good aspects of UK that you have developed in yourself but you need to let go of other things which may not be so good in order to accommodate yourself in this new environment.

3. This adjustment period may last up to 2 years. It maybe quicker for some people to adjust especially for those who return earlier and it is certainly easier for children to adjust compared to their parents. During this period, you may sometimes wonder "Why the hell did I come back?" You may start to doubt your decision. You may consider moving back to the UK. Indeed, some people do end up moving back to the UK or seeking their fortunes elsewhere in the world.

During this time, it is actually advisable to go back to the UK for a visit. In fact, most of us including myself did exactly just that. No matter how organized you are, you will need to go back to the UK at least within the first 1-2 years of your return to Malaysia. You may need to pick up your tax return check, pay your last bills, sort out your bank account and the most important thing is to go back and remind yourself what you left behind.

There was a real good reason why you decided to leave your built up life of x amount of years, shipped all your possessions half way across the world, drag your children with you and leaving all your friends behind. So, go back and remind yourself why you left. Whilst you are there, use the opportunity to visit your friends, go back to your favourite hang-out place and restaurants, do the things you enjoyed previously and eat the things you loved to eat. You will remember the beautiful life you had, the good times but you will also remember why you decided to leave. (or if not, you may decide you want your old life back)

Well, I thoroughly enjoyed my short visit to the UK seeing all my friends again, eating Ryvita with cream cheese and smoked salmon but...I knew I didn't want to live there anymore. I had 17 wonderful years but I'm ready to move on.

4. Finally you will get to the 'settling' phase. This is where I am now. I am finally settled. Some may never get to this phase and if so, you may decide to move away. It doesn't matter cause the most important thing is that you have tried. However, if you do reach the settling phase then it is important for you to keep the good things that you have learned from the UK. Not everything from the UK is good. There are many not so good things which I can talk about but that will take a few more posts.

When I say the good things I mean the good attitude such as discipline, punctuality, professionalism, politeness, straight to the point, no pussy-footing, being civilized, treating others equally and with respect. It doesn't matter if you are surrounded by hooligans but it is your behavior and attitude that is important. You do not need to step down to the level of others.You define who you are and remember, Islam defines who we should be.

So, you will start to rebuild your life here in Malaysia. I believe there are so much more opportunities here for you and your children especially when your family are here and your friends are here. No doubt, it is a very strange, colourful and bizarre place; but if you are the type of person who enjoys a busy social life, to experience new and strange things, to spent most of your weekends surrounded by family and friends, to travel and see the most beautiful beaches and natural environments, to improve your skills in dealing with difficult personalities then, this is the place for you. It is a place full of challenges. One thing for sure, life is never boring!