My attempt to understand the Malay dilemma

I am currently reading Tun Dr Mahathir’s memoirs.

I’ve been having a difficult time fitting myself into the Malaysian society. I’m faced with various deficiencies in the system and the mentality of the masses that is difficult for me to grasp. However, I believe we are a product of our history, our experiences and the ideas that has been incorporated within us. So, in order to make sense of what is happening around me I needed to understand the psyche of the people.

I realised that whilst the Malays were struggling in their own country, I on the other hand was fighting my own battle...I was in a far away land, all by myself. I was proud of myself that I managed my time, studies and finances well. I was independent and responsible from the very beginning but I had other battles. Tun Mahathir described it beautifully in his book about the Western culture, ”Europeans are frank and direct. Being critical is natural to their style of discourse and with it comes the tendency to run people down.”

In Britain, you have to prove yourself, to be bold and speak up for what you believe is right. During discussions, everyone wanted to speak and everyone had their opinion that they felt was right. The person who kept quiet will never be heard and nobody will give you the time of day. So, I learned to be assertive and to ensure that my opinions were heard. In the UK, people are equal and there is no hierarchy except when you show weakness or be timid, then you are the underdog.

Things got more intense when I started to practice Islam, the British used to think that a covered head was an empty head. However, I believe perceptions are changing now with so many young Muslim women presenting their ideas in the most intelligent and articulate way. During my time, people believed that women with head scarves could not speak English and only knew how to make chapatti, but it didn’t stop me from following the Islamic rule because I knew that was what Allah had asked the believing women to do as stated in the Qur’an. So, I felt strong, stronger than any un-covered women because I didn’t care about what the society thought of me and I felt that I was the one who was free because I had rejected man-made laws and was applying the laws of my Creator.

Coming back to Malaysia...I was oblivious to the struggles faced by the Malays because as far as I’m concerned I had won my battles and fought off my demons. To me, whatever issues faced in Malaysia or how the non-Muslims or secularist would perceive me is trivial because their perception is shaped by western ideas and values. To me, they were copy-cats and not the real thing so their perceptions didn’t threaten me the least.

However, I realised that many Malays have not gone through that kind of struggle apart from those in the same situation as me. I had to reflect upon myself and not to undermine their struggles. I had to open up my mind and to understand their point of view