Family Project CAMPRO 2016

So, we are on to family project #2

The main essence of our family project #1 is completed. We have successfully transformed the house into our cozy dream home. So, we are embarking on our next project.

There's been some various negative reviews and complaints for our locally produced CAMPRO engine. You often hear words such as 'lemau' or campro owners will tell you that you get this sinking feeling pressing on that pedal somewhere between 3000-4000 RPM or it takes too long to get to that maximum HP. So, this next project is rather more of a challenge to assemble this local engine into something that is reliable and powerful enough to keep driving a happy experience, without frustration and without feeling that you need to bang your head against the wall to get the best from this engine.

So, how does it feel to have an engine inside the living room? I think most husbands would imagine the answer to be totally negative.

However, I find it pretty cool.The reasons are:

1. This is a family project. It is not one man 'syok sendiri'. How often do our kids get to learn about car engines and to see one being assemble right before their eyes, up, close and personal.

2. Who says that cars are only for boys. If women drive, they too should know about engines. Having knowledge does not mean that the husband or the man of the house becomes redundant. It just means that car workshops: BE WARNED! Just because a woman is driving her car into your garage does not mean that you can 'sembelih' her by taking out her original parts and then, swapping it with some crappy parts and charging a bomb!

3. Our automotive designer is very systematic. You may think there's just an engine with lots of parts in the middle of the living room, but it is all arranged and in a particular order. There's no mess and no dirt on the carpet. This is probably the cleanest engine you will ever find.

4. There's progress daily. There's nothing worse than an abandoned project that sits in the middle of the house with no end in sight! Now, this project has a beginning and will have an end...inshaAllah it will end with a complete engine, ready to be fitted into one very personalized hand made car. A real gift for the one true love.

So, let me introduce our team:
Project manager: ME
Automotive designer: Lid
Automotive engineer: Fudge
Mechanic: Mack
Sustenance manager: Hadiya
Maintenance: Luqy

WATCH THIS SPACE!

My early years of growing up in UPM Serdang

Beautiful memories of this old cottage where I spend my first 10 years of life 1974 - 1984

I revisited my old home in UPM Serdang 2015

This was my home. The home I was brought back to after I was delivered into the world. It was my home for the first 10 years of my life. I felt completely nostalgic when I had the opportunity to visit it after 30 years. I couldn’t fight back the tears. Seeing this beautiful little cottage brought back so much happy memories for me. It was the home where my mom used to sing every morning as she prepared breakfast. The home where my grandmother used to wake up very early to pray her extra prayers and stay right up until Fajr time. I would then hear the sound of her sweeping the outside porch, removing all the dead leaves that had fallen overnight. It was the home where me and my siblings would run around and play together. It was the home surrounded by beautiful greenery, wildness, sounds of crickets, toads croaking after it rains, the smell of freshness and settled dew in the morning. 

My father was a lecturer in the Environmental science faculty. He was a professor in ecology. He was a very strict man, the no-nonsense type. He barely ever smiled but sometimes when he does, he has a very sweet face but I owe it to him to instill my passion for knowledge. He made sure that we studied hard and that we emphasized on education. If it wasn’t for him, I wouldn’t have been a doctor. Don’t get me wrong, he never forced me into medicine. I have always enjoyed Biology as my favourite subject in school but I never saw myself as a doctor. I thought doctors were super smart people and a bit too serious for me. However, my passion for knowledge made me agree to study medicine because the prospect of being in University for 5 years instead of 4 years was appealing. I wanted more time to study.

My father’s strict parenting approach made me tough, determined and strong-willed. This was of course coupled with my mom’s soft, loving and kind approach, to give me a well balanced emotional support. I was a very hard-headed, strong willed child and if I wanted something, I would say, “no matter how, why, what, where and when, I would get it.”

I was also very efficient and organized child. My mom used to tell me that her father would say, “Don’t wait until tomorrow what can be done today.” At the age of 7 years old, I answered her back with these words, “Don’t wait until later, what can be done now.”

When my brother was sent off to boarding school in Malay College Kuala Kangsar; I was left with my sister for a year until she too left for Sekolah Seri Puteri and I was alone. For a while, I was an only child. I missed them both terribly, but my mom filled my loneliness. We would visit her every week and once a month, we would make that long trip to visit my brother in Kuala Kangsar, along those winding old roads because the PLUS highway was not yet built. The journey would take us at least 7 hours but I was happy. We would leave early in the morning sometimes praying subuh at a masjid along the way and when we reached the old MCKK building, my brother would be waiting for us with a smiling face regardless of when we arrived. There was never a time that he was not there waiting for us. He is the most wonderful brother, always smiling, always happy and always loving towards us. 

My sister is my best friend. We used to fight like cats and dogs but we could never be apart. Every morning, if she was at home I would wake up very early and I would wait until she wakes up because she was a late-riser. As soon as she woke up, I felt like my day had begun.

I had a wonderful happy childhood and my days in UPM was very nurturing. 

I left home and the country when I was 17 years old. The moment my foot step into the aeroplane, I was a full fledged adult. I was completely on my own. I no longer had my parents to turn to, to run into my mom’s arms for emotional support. There was no internet, handphone or watsapp. I wrote to my mom once a month and called only when necessary. I had no one to complain to if I was being told off or messed up. I had to deal with whatever issues all on my own, financial, social and emotional.

Yet, I was ready. I was ready to manage myself, my finances, my time, my studies and all my needs. I hate it when people say things like students studying overseas have an easy life. How can it be easy when you are thrown into the deep end, to adapt to a completely new environment, to manage everything yourself, to compete with students who have been brought up to think rationally, to be bold, to ask questions, to have opinions. The Malaysian education system never encouraged students to speak out, to think for themselves, to come up with challenging questions, to figure out the answers. As a result, Malaysian students are often labelled as ‘timid’, ‘quiet’ or ‘polite’ because we barely speak in class, barely ask questions. 

Anyway, I have wonderful memories of being brought up in the green lushes surrounding of UPM Serdang. That was the place I learned to ride the bicycle and used to cycle all around the campus, my favourite spot was to stop at the back of the veterinary faculty and look at rabbits and monkeys. I have memories of waiting for the UPM school bus that took us to our school in Kajang. 

I must say I had a very happy childhood and seeing my old home in UPM, Serdang reminded me of how fortunate I was to have all my experiences in life, the good and the bad. 

Ex-smoker confession (quit smoking clinic)

May was world no tobacco month. I was invited to give a talk at a health carnival in Sungai Buloh since I am also one of the doctors running our quit smoking clinic. The patients who come to see me are usually those referred to us from Cardiology clinic. Those who have suffered a heart attack and have been told to reduce their risk factors lest...they return to the Cardiology ward with another blocked artery.

My patients who attend the quit smoking clinic often asked me, "Doctor, do you used to smoke?" I have no qualms in saying "Yes" to them. You know how you never quite know the purpose for you doing something until the time comes when everything is revealed to you? Well...the first time a patient asked me that, I felt like my years of burning tobacco suddenly had meaning.

Yes, I was a smoker. I started at the age of 15 and quit at the age of 25 years old. People often misunderstood. They thought I smoked due to peer pressure or was 'influenced' by friends. Truth was, my uncle (who has also quit smoking) was a chain smoker and one day, he left his packet of cigarette at my house. I kept that packet and I even asked my mom if it was okay for me to try one. She gave me the green light. It took me a while before I lighted my first cigarette. Believe it or not, I was actually scared of lighting up a match. My first experience didn't go too well but after that, I tried a few more times and then, I found it rather therapeutic. I felt it was a stress reliever. Well, of course now I know the reason is due to the nicotine that comes from tobacco leaves itself. Nicotine is the active ingredient or the drug that mimics Acetylcholine, a natural neurotransmitter in the brain. Nicotine binds to the Acetylcholine receptors and does more or less the same job as the original chemicals. Nicotine also releases Dopamine, oh...that lovely chemical that makes one happy and relieves stress.

The bad thing is Nicotine is addictive. Once your brain has 'tasted' Nicotine, it just wants more and more and more...and will keep calling for Nicotine every few hours.

When I actually went public with my smoking, there was a bit of an uproar. Well...in the 1980s women don't smoke especially teenage girls. Although I often see grandmothers smoking, like really old ladies who are frail and looks like they're about to collapse at any second, coming out of taxis holding a cigarette. Anyway, women smoking was considered 'indecent'. I hated that cultural mentality. It made me feel that I had to smoke in public even more and to make a stand, a statement, to uphold a principle!

I asked myself, if smoking is bad for health (which it is) then why is it only bad for women. Then I asked again, if smoking is haram (as some fatwa say) then again, why is it only bad for women? I mean...as far as I'm concerned when Islam says something is haram a.k.a BAD...it is bad for both genders. I mean just pick any haram thing, eating pork, drinking alcohol, having sex without marriage, gambling, dealing with interest...ALL HARAM THINGS ARE HARAM TO BOTH MEN AND WOMEN.

The only things that have some differences in rules are pertaining to what we should do for example, it is obligatory for men to attend Friday prayers but it is optional for women, it is obligatory for men to fight and protect the land or lives in jihad but it is optional for women, it is obligatory for men to support their family (working) but it is optional for women. Even when it comes to covering the awrah (parts of the body that needs to be covered) are applicable to both men and women, the only difference is the definition of the parts.

For argument sake, so men are allowed to marry up to four women but women are not allowed but still, that is about God giving men permission to marry up to four. However, when it comes to things that are NOT allowed...that are haram a.k.a BAD things...it is bad for all. Hence, I felt disgusted by the double standards that was practiced in society. I hated the mentality that some things are bad for women or seen as 'tak manis'. URGHHHH! so what if women are 'tak manis'. I hated the mentality that it is bad for women to not be a virgin but it is okay for men to not be virgins.  I held on to the principle that societal rules must be applied to all so, if women are expected to be virgins than men too are expected to be virgins. There should be no bias, no prejudice and no double standards. I wanted justice and equality when it came to application of 'good' and 'bad'.

I wasn't looking for equality in the sense of what men can do, women can do better. No! I didn't want to compete with men or be a feminist. I just wanted people to realize that their view towards good and bad or what society considered as 'acceptable' for men but not for women is based on flawed emotional responses rather than concrete evidence. Telling me I shouldn't smoke in public just because 'tak manis di pandang orang' (not sweet) is not good enough. Tell me I shouldn't smoke in public because it is bad for my health and all the people around me due to passive smoking then, I can accept because that would apply to all smokers and not just because I happen to be born with XX chromosomes.

Remember when this country was covered with haze due to forest fire in Sumatera last year? At the time, everyone frowned upon smokers because they were being terribly selfish, adding more pollutant to the already toxic environment. I saw some smirks and pulling faces from smokers but to me, that is dumb rebellion. If you want to rebel, rebel with a purpose. Don't rebel for self-gratification. Well, you can argue, the air quality at the time was bad anyway...so adding more carbon monoxide and another 4000 toxic chemicals from your one burning cigarette will probably not make much of a difference but, if 1.6 million people smoke and they smoke on average 10 cigarette per day then, you do the maths. How much toxic chemicals are we adding to an already suffocating poor air quality?

Anyway, I quit smoking because I had a scare. I started having this haemoptysis (coughing blood) every morning and thought I was like you know, dying from the big C. Thank God, it wasn't.  On top of that, one of my patients who suffered from COPD (chronic obstructive pulmonary disease) which is caused by smoking had a near death experience. She was in the wards and she couldn't breath. We had to resuscitate her, you know using intubation and everything. The next day, I came to work and I was looking for her and actually found her smoking at the bicycle shed. She inspired me to quit smoking. I thought to myself, no matter what happens I will not become like that. So, I took my last cigarette and then kept the rest in its box as a reminder.

Now, let me inform you that once you're a smoker, you can never truly quit. What I mean is that you may never touch another cigarette in your life but you do have the cravings from time to time. Even after so many years, I do get cravings maybe once or twice a month, depending on how stress I'm feeling. However, the craving only lasts for a few seconds or a minute (max) and goes away once you're busy doing other things. I keep telling myself, that's my brain receptors calling for Nicotine. Forget it...I don't need it.

Besides, my principle self wants to prove that nothing can control me. I am not a slave of Nicotine. the reason why I used to smoke is not because Nicotine has power over me. So, there you go. Successful quitters are those with strong self discipline and motivation. People who have some dependent personality trait may find it more difficult to quit. However, it is not impossible. If you want to quit but find that you might need some help either from counselling or medication, get yourself enrolled in a quit smoking program.

Face to face with an intruder in the house.

What if every parents' nightmare were to happen to you? How would you react?

I was out shopping, grabbing some vegetables and mineral water to replenish our grocery during my lunch break. I was on the phone with hubby when he said, "Call me back in one minute." He does that to me, a lot and it usually means something important is happening. I called him back and he said in a calm and clear voice, he said, "...listen to me very carefully. Drop whatever you're doing and drive home. Don't ask any question."

I wonder what most wives would do?
Would they listen?
Would they protest?
Would they do the typical 'drama melayu' scene of "Kenapa Bang? Apa dah jadi Bang? I baru nak bayar shopping ni...cakaplah sekarang!" and blah blah...

Sometimes I would mess around with the kids, pretending that we're in an emergency situation and they must do exactly as they're told quickly and without asking any questions because in an emergency situation, every second counts. You must be acute and quick to react. When someone says, "Get down!" you must get down without hesitation. Hence, this was one of those moments...

To me, this was a test of faith! A test for me to see if I trusted the head of my household enough to do exactly what he says without question. Do you trust your leader? In a life and death situation, trust is important. A moment's hesitation could change outcome. I knew something was wrong but what? All sorts of things were going through my head. A fire? One of the kids fell and broke their leg? He said, don't ask questions so I didn't. It was not out of fear. It was out of faith. I guess I trust him, always have from the moment we first met.

I had my load of basket. I had just finished picking up the last item on the list. The till was empty. I could have just went to the till and paid the groceries and then do as he says. The thought was tempting...but instead, without hesitation, I dropped the shopping basket, ruffled inside my handbag for the car keys and drove home. It was a 30 minutes drive on the highway.

As I was driving, he called. He asked me where I was and I said, I was on the highway. He told me someone broke into the house and our eldest girl was in the house. He said, something happened to her.

I wonder what would most mothers imagine?
What would they do?
How would they react?

I must say...I imagined the worst! I imagined...one stop crisis center.
I became hysterical. I was sobbing and crying and screaming, "Oh my God! my baby! my baby! what happened to my baby!" Hubby was lecturing and screaming over the phone, saying "Who didn't close the window? I told everyone so many times to close the window, to lock the doors. I knew this was going to happen!"

I tried to calm myself but as soon as I thought about it, I started becoming hysterical again. I was pressing on the accelerator but the car seemed to be going slower...I felt my legs were heavy but I knew I had to keep driving.

Hubby said, "As soon as you get home, take her to the police station."
"Police station?" I replied through my sobs. "I must take her to the hospital..."
His voice softened, "What do you think happened?" he asked
I knew then that most likely things were not as bad as I imagined. His tone of voice reassured me. I calmed down. I didn't ask anything. Didn't ask what happened. I asked, "Who is with her now? Is she alone?" He had asked the security guard to keep her company until one of us got home. I said, "OK" and hanged up.

When I got home, she was downstairs. She opened the door and I could see she's been crying. I asked if she is okay and she said, she is. The only thing that was bruised was one of her fingers which she used to punched the intruder. Yes! my daughter punched the guy who broke into our house and luckily, he ran away and she was okay.

I wonder what would you have done?
What would I have done?

Hubby told us many times about the possibility of intruders entering the house and that we should never have this mentality of "It won't happen to me!"

We have taught the kids to realize that whatever happens to others could potentially happen to us. The attitude that "it won't happen to me!" is not an option. If we thought it wouldn't happen to us, we would not take any precautions or be prepared. We must take all precautions and be prepared and to have trust in God to protect us (tawakkal).

However, we never taught her what to do in such a situation. It was purely her own reaction and she was brave. I have brought her up from a young age to 'not fear anything but God'. When she was little and afraid of monsters under the bed, I used to tell her that even if there were monsters or ghosts, God is the One who created these things hence, we must fear nothing but God." However, I never anticipated that she would respond in this way so, I must say MashaAllah! Only Allah could have helped her...

My Malaysian Sepang F1 GrandPrix experience

Yesterday, a historic day on Sunday 29th March 2015,  I attended the F1 Sepang Grand Prix for the very first time. Despite being an F1 fan, I had never watched it 'live'. In fact, I left F1 many years ago and struggled to update myself on names of new drivers and teams. Despite all that, it was an amazing experience!

The qualifying session on Saturday was interrupted by a heavy tropical downpour. Me and hubby reached Sepang track at around 5pm and as we approached the main grandstand, I could see the storm cloud approaching. Qualifying started and so did the rain...fortunately, the rain lasted only for half an hour and we watched the qualifying session from the main grandstand opposite the team line up. Wow! the F1 cars were zooming past and I could feel the adrenaline rush. It was totally amazing.

On the day of the race, we traveled two hours before the race started and still, we got there just on time. I could hear the F1 engines roaring and as we rushed towards the grandstand, we stopped to buy a tin of coke which cost RM5.00 and whoosh...the race started. Damn! I missed the beginning. We managed to secure two seats at the Citrine area. The view was spectacular! We could see the last part of the track clearly. There was just one or two incidences with the crazy drunk people at the top deck spilling beer and dropping cans on our heads like idiotic moron but my incredible hero went upstairs to tell them off! I don't know why they have to drink beer at an F1 race especially if they don't even know how to behave themselves! 

Anyway, morons aside...there were some blood rushing moments when Hamilton passed Vettel and Vettel passed Hamilton...but in the end, was slightly disappointed that Hamilton got second. I started off as a Benetton fan many years ago and then switched to Ferrari when Schumacher joined the team in 1996. I left F1 after Schumacher retired in 2006 and completely lost touch with the sports until recently when life turned a new leaf. Now, I have no strong connection with a particular team but just watching the F1 cars go past at such speed...I can't explain it. I am speechless! It was simply amazing!

The tickets were incredibly expensive and parking was NOT included. We paid RM100 for two days unlimited parking access which is near enough the Sepang F1 building. Also, Kravitz cancelled at the last minute which is utterly disappointing and I must point fingers at the organizers for that mishap! However, for once in a lifetime experience listening to the F1 engines and watching them whizz pass...accompanied by the best company, it was worth-it. 

Line up behind safety car

Mercedes

Exciting moments of the race

Ferrari wins! Crowd cheers as the winning teams go past!

Thick clouds gather after the F1 Sepang race

Helicopter hovering over F1 Sepang circuit