I have been teaching my son tilawah al Qur’an and sometimes,
when we come across the stories of the Prophet, I would talk to him about it. I
was thinking about the story of Adam, his wife Hawa and how they were seduced by Iblis
to eat from the forbidden tree. It so happened that when I visited my mom last
week, she mentioned something about it and it led to a conversation.
For those of you who do not know, the Malay culture has this
kind of ‘fatalistic’ approach when it comes to religion. One often hears things
like “who are we compared to so and so…” or “If some religious person can do
such and such, how can we avoid blah…blah…blah.” Anyway, I hate that kind of
fatalistic approach towards religion; same goes to this notion of “who am I…”...”I
am not good enough”. I am not saying we should go around thinking ourselves so
great or good or whatever, but just try and be positive and to have faith and
hope in God rather than to keep bringing oneself down.
So, along these fatalistic lines, my mom said “If Adam can
be seduced by Iblis to disobey God, well…who are we?” I knew she meant well but
I told her this: that is not how we should look at it. That is not the lesson
that God wanted us to take from that story. Adam was the first human, the best
of creation that God even commanded the angels to bow down to Adam so, why
should we bring ourselves so low to the level that we are fatalistic and have
no chance whatsoever to redeem ourselves or be anything better?
I told her this; For each and every creation, there is a nature
to it, an attribute; like metal is hard or cotton is soft.
God told us the story of Adam, the first human to make us understand our nature, the nature of a human being. A human being is
weak, he makes mistakes, he is easily influenced and easily seduced by the
devil or bad things, but he has the realization, he knew that he made a
mistake, he realised that he had done wrong and he repented, he turned back to
God and asked for forgiveness. That is what makes us amazing, it is our humbleness,
our acceptance of our weakness and our ability to turn to repent and to change
and make ourselves better.
On the contrary, Iblis was a strong believer and worshipper
of God but when God commanded him to bow to Adam, he refused and thus, he became a transgressor. I asked my son, why was it that Iblis became a
disbeliever when he disobeyed God and yet, when Adam disobeyed God, he was
chastised and yet, he was not regarded as a disbeliever? Was God being unfair?
He thought for a while but came to this conclusion. Iblis deliberately
disobeyed God out of his ego and pride. He felt he was right because he
arrogantly claimed that he was better than Adam. He was made from fire whereas
Adam was made from clay. He never admitted he was wrong, he never repented, his arrogance made him a disbeliever.
In Adam’s case, his act of disobedience was caused by
weakness, of being seduced and influenced and as soon as he committed the act,
he realised it was wrong and he felt ashamed and regretful, he repented and
asked for forgiveness. It wasn’t borne out of arrogance but out of weakness.
Hence, it was considered a wrongful act, but not an act of disbelief.
At this age of 40+ I often tell people who are close to me,
I am too old to play games and to deal with people who are arrogant. I value
honesty, humbleness and respect. Just be honest, if you want something, ask; if
you are not happy about something, say and if you don’t get what you want, deal
with it. Stop being a brat.
I have come across some people who want to act like they are
‘perfect’ and in that attitude of grandiosity, they start blaming everyone else
and try to bring others down just so that they think they can hide their
weakness. In reality, they are far from it and the worse thing is, everyone else can see it. Just because people do not say anything, doesn't mean they agree. Most of the time, people just don't care!
But let's be honest, everyone knows there is no such thing as ‘perfection’
in human and often, the one who tries too
hard to be ‘perfect’ is usually the one who is most unfulfilled because they are trying to be something that is not in anyone's nature whereas the one who just embraces their life whatever it is, happy or crappy and all;
is the one who is often most fulfilled.
God has shown us from the very start of human life; in Adam
and his wife, Hawa even before they were transported to earth, that humans are
weak and imperfect. In fact, if we think about the story and what actually drove them to eat from that
forbidden tree in the first place? How did Iblis managed to convince them to eat from the
forbidden tree? What was the trick that he used?
He told them that God did not want them to eat from the tree
because it would turn them into angels, into immortals…in other words they
would become ‘perfect’ or what they perceive as ‘perfection’. Ironic that human
beings yearn to be ‘perfect’ and yet, it is our flaw, our weakness, our
mistakes that made us ‘special’.
The thing I love about the Adam and Hawa story is just how
much it truly highlights the human behaviour and how it encourages us to be
human, to embrace our imperfection and to strive to be better, to seek
forgiveness and to repent. I often tell my kids, get to know yourself,
everything that is good about you and everything that is bad about you.
Whatever that is good, enhance it, encourage it and whatever that is bad, and
whatever you don’t like about yourself, you must accepted it first, before you can change it, manage it so
that you can be a better person. Don't live your life in denial. Don't live your life pretending to be something that you are not. Don’t hate yourself.
It is only from
acceptance that we can change and overcome our weakness. Take a person who is
disabled, like our para-olympians. How do they manage to overcome their
disability to become successful in what they do? To achieve what seems like the
impossible, even more than majority of those who do not have those
disability in the first place? It is not from denying who they are and the disabilities that they
have. Rather, it is from accepting the disability and finding ways to overcome
it, to manage it, to use it as a strength.
I tell my kids that we have power and control only over
ourselves and that is actually the only power that we have. None of us have
power or control over anyone else. We can try to influence people but we may
not succeed but if we can control our own self, our desires (nafs), our
behaviour and attitude, then that is success.
I think annoyance is those people who display hypocrisy. They do things
to others and yet, fail to see it in themselves. They criticize others and yet,
fail to see those same characteristics in themselves. They are horrible and disgusting towards others and yet, when the same befalls on them, they shout and scream like 3-year olds. I don't know if it is the inability to self-reflect, low mentality or just arrested development. To me, if you hate
something in someone then don’t be that. Be just.
I told my kids that I am hardly ‘religious’ as such but to
me, religion gives me principles and we need to have principles to hold on to,
to guide us in making decisions, in determining good and bad, right and wrong.
We need something strong and stable to hold on to; and the principles of
justice is important. We cannot apply one rule to ourselves and another to
everyone else because no one owes us any favours and no one gives a shit. If
you are rude to people, they will be rude to you. If you treat people badly,
they will treat you badly. If you are kind to people, they will be kind to you.
Take a simple gesture, just try, when you walk down the street and sometimes,
you catch someone’s eye, smile! 99% of the time the other person will smile
back. The people are a reflection of who you are. If you have no one you can
trust, it is probably because no one trust you.
So, hold on to what God says; let go of fatalistic views. Learn from what God has told us about our nature. Be honest. Be reflective.
Recognize your own flaws. Be repentant, be human.
