Thursday 26 September 2013

True "Idols" for Muslim girls and women today

Surah At Tahrim: 11-12
"And Allah has set forth an example for those who believe the wife of Fir'aun (Pharoah), when she said: My Lord! Build for me a home with You in Paradise, and save me from Fir'aun and his work, and save me from the people who are Zalimun."
"And Maryam (Mary), the daughter of Imran who guarded her chastity. And We breathe into her through our ruh (Jibrail) and she testified to the truth of the Words of her Lord, and believe in the Scriptures and she was of the obedient (to Allah)"
As a Muslim girl growing up, I often thought it was unfair that men have so many examples to follow. Of course our Prophet Muhammad SAW was a man and he was the best of examples. Then there were great leaders e.g. Abu Bakar as Siddiq r.a., strong-willed man e.g. Umar Al Khattab r.a., a determined boy e.g. Ali r.a. , brave fighter e.g. Khalid al Walid, Jaafar bin Abi Talib, intelligent negotiator e.g. Mus'ab bin Umayr and many more...
I struggled to understand the true characteristic of a pious woman whom I should follow as an example, one who can be my "idol". Often the message given to girls are conflicting. We are often told to be a "wanita solehah" (pious woman) one has to be soft spoken, kind and sabar (patient). Yes! everything sabar...husband tak tanggung pon sabar...kene sepak terajang pon sabar*....Is that what we want our women to be? When a woman is opinionated and speaks her mind, she would be seen as "aggressive" or when she demands for her rights, she would be seen as a "gold digger" or "ungrateful". Basically, to be a "wanita solehah" one has to be brainless and easily bullied.
*husband not providing, being physically abused by husband
In a Capitalist world where men have embraced the concepts of "survival of the fittest" and "self gratification", we often find women subjected to unfair treatment and oppression. Most women nowadays work and they are expected to share 50% of the cost of living. In worse scenarios, they are expected to support their non-working husbands or even worse, having to take up bank loans and credit cards to support their extravagant male spouses. I'm sure we know of some women who are in severe debt or have gone bankrupt due to their husband's bad economic decisions and yet, in the end who is blamed? It would be the woman because she was being exactly what society expected her to be soft spoken, kind and patient...
Who is really brain-washing women to become like this? is it men i.e. man made law, customs, traditions or Islam?
As I read the beautiful verses of the Qur'an above, it made me realize about women and what are the true characteristics of a pious woman. 
Let's look at Maryam a.s. (the mother of Isa a.s). She was praised for her chastity, her obedience to God, that she kept herself isolated in worship to Allah SWT and that Allah SWT completed her. She didn't need anyone else... Even when she was about to give birth to Isa a.s. (the immaculate child), she secluded herself away from the people and gave birth to her baby in isolation, alone with Allah SWT as her protector.
The message here is a pious woman is one who worships Allah SWT alone, she keeps herself chaste and Allah SWT completes her (in her heart, soul, body and mind)
Then let's look to Asiah, the wife of Firaun. Firaun was the King of Egypt. He even claimed himself to be 'god' astaghfirullah! and yet, despite killing all the male infants of Bani Israel, he agreed to adopt Musa a.s. as their son because Asiah wanted to keep the child. That showed his love for her.
When Musa became a Prophet and taught people to worship Allah SWT alone, she believed in him and she went against Firaun, her husband. Out of fury, he tortured her but her response was not one of weakness or clinging to Firaun. She did not respond in the way that Malay dramas would like to depict a woman...falling at the feet of her husband, crying and saying something like "Oh Abang! sampai hati Abang buat saya macam ni. Maafkanlah saya Bang! " You know what I mean...that cringing scene that makes a woman look so pathetic causing my stomach to churn and feel this urge to vomit! I often wonder why does she has to apologize when usually it would be the husband that was having an affair or not fulfilling his responsibility or abusing her physically, mentally or emotionally.
Anyway, back to Asiah...wife of Firaun....
Instead of pleading to Firaun, Asiah turned to Allah SWT and prayed to Him to save her from Firaun and those who were oppressors. She asked for Allah SWT to build her a home in Jannah because she loved Allah more than anything else. She disobeyed her husband and turned against him for the sake of Allah.
the message here is: LOVE ALLAH SWT first above anyone else. Put everything in your hand (as sis Yasmin Mogahed would say) but not in your heart. Only keep Allah in your heart. Your husband is not your god Astaghfirullah! He is just a man whom if he fulfils his responsibilities towards you, Alhamdulillah but if he betrays you, then Allah is your protector and the One you hold dear to your heart.

Let's look at an example closer to our time. The best example of Khadijah r.a. (wife of Prophet Muhammad SAW). At the time when Muhammad SAW worked for her as a tradesman, she was 40 years old. She was a widower, rich, beautiful and highly intelligent. She had endless marriage proposals from leaders of Quraysh and rich tradesman. Yet, she refused to get married. She was contented with herself and her position.
The attraction she had towards Muhammad SAW was not based on his good looks. They hardly met face to face but she heard about him through her servant Maysarah. He often described Muhammad SAW as intelligent, reliable, honest, responsible and of course, he was known as the trustworthy (Al-Amin). Hence, it was these characteristics that prompted her to propose to him for marriage.
Good looks will fade in time but when you admire someone for their good characteristics, they will always have those qualities. When Khadijah r.a. married Muhammad SAW. He was an ordinary 20-year old man, an orphan with no great fortune or high status but yet, she saw something in him that made her admired and believed in him. Indeed, she was right...he became the best person ever and the best example for mankind.
Let the message to Muslim girls be this:
Build your relationship with Allah SWT first
Everyone else is secondary
Love Allah and put your complete Trust in Him
Abide by His laws and rules
Do not transgress His Limits, for whatever or whoever...
No one is worth disobeying Allah
Always remember that Allah SAW has given you your rights
He has given you self-worth
He has given you high status in Islam, as daughters, sisters, aunties, wives and mothers
Know your rights as a daughter, sister, aunty, wife and mother
You do not need anyone else to complete you
Only Allah SWT can complete you...

Thursday 12 September 2013

Shaping our lives with the solat (prayers)


In a hadith (transmission of the Prophet's sayings) it was narrated by Aishah R.A (the Prophet's wife) that the Prophet S.A.W (peace be upon him) said "The two Rak'ah before dawn (fajr) prayer are better than this world and all it contains." [Saheeh Muslim]


When I first came back to Malaysia four years ago, the first thing that awed me was waking up to the sound of the Adhan (the call for prayer). Nowadays I feel I am taking it for granted but I shouldn't. Waking up for the early morning prayer at around 5.50am is an amazing feeling. You get to breathe and enjoy the fresh air. The world is surrounded by serenity and not yet tainted by the hustle and bustle of life. The morning prayer is only two Rak'ah but what struck me about the hadith above is the merits of the two Rak'ah sunnah prayers before the actual obligatory prayer.


For most people like myself we have to mentally prepare for the rat race to get to work by 8 am. We may have to send our children to school, attend meetings, have deadlines or some would be doing groceries shopping, cooking and cleaning the house. Everyday we wake up to face a busy schedule ahead, full of daily chores but just take some time to consider this. Imagine waking up everyday knowing that you have achieved something greater than the whole world and everything in it? (as mentioned in the hadith above)

That would certainly start you off on a positive note and put you in a happy mood. By simply praying two extra Rak'ah you would be able to achieve all that.
 

Islam links all actions with specific concepts and character building exercise. It is unfortunate if we as Muslims simply do the rituals but do not imbibe the concepts to shape our mentality and emotions. Let's just take the prayer. Muslims are obligated to pray five times a day and although there is no argument that the only purpose and intention of our prayer is to worship Allah SWT alone yet, the prayer teaches us many things. It teaches us self discipline, concentration, organization and to do things in a systematic manner. We cannot pray in whichever way we want rather, there are sets of rules and regulations and particular order of things.


As we go through our busy day with tight schedules, we may feel that our 'breaks' for prayer is disruptive. We might become engrossed with work, shopping, watching TV or doing some worldly activities that we may feel burdened by the five prayers. Yet, we often forget the concept that the hereafter is the real life compared to this life which is temporary and only a test. Hence, by leaving the worldly activities to perform our obligatory prayers is a reminder for us that is the true destination, to leave everything to return to Allah SWT, to leave the dunya and concentrate on the real life which is akhirat. It is an affirmation to the concept we already hold in our mind about the next life and what is really important.

May Allah SWT make us and our children, our future generation to perform and LOVE the prayers...Ameen.

Sunday 1 September 2013

Merdeka! 31st August Malaysians celebrate Independence day

31st August 1957 marked the day that Malaysia officially achieved independence day. Each year, on this day there is a celebration marked by a national parade; boasting all of this countries' achievements, culture and military might. I was involved in this celebration back in 1990 when Sri Aman Girls School along with Assunta Girls School and Taman Petaling were performing a Malay-Chinese-Indian traditional dance. We were in year 4 of secondary school and that must be the only time I attended the national parade live at Dataran Merdeka (Merdeka Square).


THE VIDEO OF MERDEKA


However, in celebrating this memory we must never separate the celebration from the actual event. My little daughter asked me in the car, she said "I don't understand what 'Merdeka' means?" So, I had to explain to my children and it was difficult explaining to them because it involved both parts of themselves. I told her that once this country was colonized by the British. Being half English, it was difficult for her to understand what that meant for her. Trying to explain to her what "colonization" meant was even harder as she is still so young. However, my older children understood it quite well.


History is made of factual things as well as the emotional aspects and points of view. I wanted my children to understand the facts; as well as to recognize that the points of view of history often depends on what we believe in. I didn't want them to start self-loathing nor to have negative feelings towards their English half. However, they needed to know the facts and be able to critically evaluate what it meant.


If one believed in Capitalism and the exploitation of wealth then one would view colonization as a good thing. However, if one believed in humanity and are against exploitation then colonization would be bad as it meant exploiting another nation, extracting its wealth, 'enslavement' of the people either physically or mentally and often retarding them.


So, I gave them the facts. This part of the world have always been prosperous. It was laden by spices, tin, fertile land that was good for rubber and palm oil plantation. On top of that at one time, Malacca was a very popular trading port. Due to its resources and strategic position, it became a sought after place by emerging powerful Capitalist nations. The people in the Malay peninsular have embraced Islam and although (correct me if I'm wrong), it was never truly under direct Ottoman rule but it had strong links with the Ottoman Empire and was under its protection.


The first Western Capitalist nation to occupy Malacca was the Portugese followed by the Dutch and finally British who managed to secure the whole of Malaysian peninsula in 1824. After more than a hundred years of British rule, Malaysia finally achieved independence and the people finally had their country back.


However, the British did not leave us empty handed. They gave us two things that were to shape our minds and system. It was a gift that would ensure that we would never truly be independent, at least not in the way we think...

The two gifts were:
1. Nationalism
2. Secular system

Nationalism was to ensure that we will forever be trapped within our own borders. The concept of a borderless nation or to form unity for the Muslim ummah became a far-fetched idea. The once great empire of the Muslims starting from the time the Prophet Muhammad SAW sent his army on expeditions to Syria, which was then under the Roman Empire and Persia until Islam spread to 2/3rds of the world became awesome stories in history books. Nationalism ensured that we will never rise again as one ummah and any attempt to break those borders will be met with fighting and resistance.

Don't get me wrong....I'm not saying we should open our borders for attack or to allow infiltration of our borders by negative elements. I am talking about the imprisonment of the mind...

Let's say for argument sake the Khilafah, a true Islamic state were to be re-established tomorrow. Would we be ready to give up our borders and be part of this state? To give our bay'ah to the Caliph (Khalifah)? Don't answer it yet...just think about it!



The other gift is secularism....or more specifically a secular system with secular laws i.e. laws that are man-made enshrined within the constitution. A law that states Islam as the official religion and that is as far as it goes...but when it comes to making laws; the reference is not Qur'an and Sunnah. Essentially that is what secularism is...religion is fine as long as it stays personal or a logo or a symbol but never to be used as something to solve daily problems, political problems, economic problems, social problems, foreign policy, judiciary or anything that involves governing the people.

There is no point in pointing fingers or accusing the people in the past for what has happened today. History is a lesson for us to be better in the future. It is however good to recognize that the secular system has been embedded so deeply within this country that any attempt to replace it is met with such strong resistance sometimes by the Muslims themselves. There have been attempts to bring more shariah laws within this country by various groups but it is often still trapped within the secular framework.


I'm not claiming to be an expert nor do I have all the answers but I do know ONE THING...which is what I am pointing out here, we may be physically independent. Theoretically we are in charge of this country...theoretically we seem to be able to determine the future of this country but in our minds are we truly independent? For the Muslims let us ponder...are we truly independent from our colonial past? Can we really fulfil our roles and function as the one who was created to worship Allah SWT alone, in our daily life, rituals as well as our public life and how we govern our nation?

It is a joyous moment to hear the words of our respected Bapa Kemerdekaan Tunku Abdul Rahman [CLICK HERE] when he shouted "Merdeka" back in 1957 and I can't imagine how it must have felt for the people at the time...but as we celebrate this event each year, let's question ourselves...how truly independent are we?

Celebrating Eid Malaysian style

Can't believe it is almost a month after Ramadhan. Was so looking forward to it and now, it's gone and was so looking forward to Eid and now, it has also come to pass. Eid celebration in Malaysia is for a month...it is not sunnah of course since Eid-ul Fitri is only for one day. However, Malaysians love food and eating. We have this thing called 'open house' and I supposed once upon a time, when Malays lived in the village...open house would literally mean that you open your house for anyone to come and eat. However, nowadays open house is an invitation only.

Since Eid which was on the 8th August 2013, we have been attending open houses every weekend. Often there are 2 or 3 invitations in a day; sometimes more. It is during these open houses that we tend to meet people we haven't seen in the last year or sometimes for several years. You know old school mates and distant cousins; it is a great time for silatur Rahm with family members and also a good time to catch up and re-connect with old friends.

This is something I totally love about Malaysia. It is a very sociable country. Eid in UK was very different for me. There were times when I barely celebrated Eid as I was on-call or working at the hospital. However, as I developed close friendships with some of the Muslims in Britain; especially those who didn't have any family members...we formed our own tradition. There was a group of us who would gather for breakfast on Eid day and spend the day together. Later on...we even had a Eid night gathering starting from just before Maghrib. I remembered once me and the sisters were laughing so much that we said, it had to be Eid because the Syaitan must have been released from their prisons.

So, I had some good memories of Eid in the UK but I guess nothing could beat spending Eid with family. All the kids running around and eating the special Eid food of ketupat, rendang...well my mom's specialty is actually asam pedas and sambal goreng pengantin (Singaporean dish). On the night of Eid, we would pray Maghrib together, read the Takbeer, have a feast and kids would play fireworks. We spread mattresses on the floor so the kids can just fall asleep when they get tired.

Eid is a beautiful time but it is also a sad time knowing that Ramadhan has left us...at least for another year. I miss Ramadhan and soon Syawal too will come to pass...but we have Hajj to look forward to and then Awal Muharram and Asyura and before we know it, Ramadhan will reappear. There's so much to do within that time, so much to maintain, so much to improve...so many problems in the Muslim world that needs to be resolved.

Every year, we hope for a better Ramadhan...for the Muslims to start fasting on the same day. For the wars to end...for peace...for Muslims to unite...for Khilafah to be re-established. Maybe next year...insyaAllah.

IN SEARCH OF THIS TRUTH

  I am in a quest to search for THIS truth. People ask, 'why are you still searching for the truth?’  You have found Islam.  You believe...