So, will your marriage last more than the average three years?

I was reading the newspaper recently and if you have read it too, you would know that the average length of marriage used to be seven years and it has now reduced to three years. Not good news to future newly wed couples especially since weddings are getting more expensive. In other words you're spending more for less durability. It is like...you used to pay RM5.00 for a battery that lasts and lasts and lasts...but now you're paying RM20.00 for a battery that goes flat in an hour.

I wonder why marriages nowadays do not last so long unlike our grandparents or even parents who seems to be married forever. My mom and dad have been married for 42 years...just imagine! I've only been married for 14 years but considering the average, we've completely passed the 7 years so whatever happens after this, we've done well! (okay...just joking...may we have more happy years ahead. Amin) :0

Anyway, I would like to share with you a scenario. Do you remember your first job interview? You spent so much time looking for a job, you've looked through career pages in the newspaper, surfed the internet, spent hours and hours composing the best CV, cracked your head on how to make your CV seemed extraordinary. Finally, you found that perfect job and you applied for it. You waited with anticipation, day after day for a positive response and finally the day arrived when you received that call...they called you for an interview. You rushed to the shops to buy yourself a new attire, new perfume, new shoes, new hair gel (if you're a bloke)  and you spent hours in front of the mirror rehearsing what you were going to say.

Do you remember how nervous you were on the day of the interview. You kept checking your watch to make sure you're not going to be late. You finally arrived at the interview and as you entered the room, you felt your heart pounding like neverbefore. You did your best to try and impress the panelist and as you waited for the result, you imagined how wonderful your life would be if you somehow got the job. You can almost see yourself in that office, in the chair, behind the desk, doing the things that you've always wanted to do...then, finally you received that phone call that informed you..."YES! you got the job!"

You were completely ecstatic because you realized that  your life has just begun.

But now, what would you do? Would you:

a) Feel satisfied, feel that you have achieved what you set out to achieve? start to relax and become complacent. You believe that you do not have to try so hard anymore... and that things will just somehow miraculously 'work out' and you will blossom and be a great worker by doing nothing? You imagine the excitement you would feel from going to work everyday just like how you felt when you attended the interview?

or

b) Feel that your career has only just begun...you feel motivated, enthusiastic to do your best, find out and learn about your roles and responsibilities. You want to grow into your job, to always strive to do better, to be better, to expand your skills, to impress your boss, to be promoted and to earn more?

I'm sure most sane and intelligent people will choose (b) so I'm not actually talking about a job but a relationship or more specifically, a marriage... now, can you understand the similarity, right?

So, you have started your 'dream job' with this 'dream company' and it is now three months later... you're getting familiar with your roles and responsibilities but you realize that you have so much more to learn.You realize the more you learn, the less you know and the more effort you have to put in. You still 'love' your job but the 'excitement', the 'anticipation' that you experienced before you went for the interview just seems so far away, it seems insignificant now compared to all these other experiences that you're getting...

Again, I'm not talking about a job but a relationship...it must seem clear that the 'courting' stage, the excitement, the yearning and wanting is just an initial phase that would seem insignificant and a small tiny fraction compared to a lifetime of getting to know one another, learning about one another and working together to make the relationship grow, all the experiences that the two of you will go through together...

This is where most experts believe is the failure of today's marriage. There's too much emphasis on the initial stage...the courting, the excitement, the being 'in love' but unlike the job...people forget that marriage is just like starting a new job. You need to work hard to make things work, you need to work hard to keep your job and even harder to get promoted!

In a world where there is more 'freedom', more socializing, people are deluded to think that they have more choices...they think that they can always find someone 'better'. If one girl gives him hell, it is much easier to just leave and find another one. If one guy pisses her off, she thinks he's not worth it and goes off to another man. This attitude of 'I can leave whenever I want' means guys and gals will spend most of their lives just hopping from one relationship to the next cause when things get tough, they leave... there is no commitment to make things work.

The truth is, no matter how many people you 'date', relationships start from ZERO...and it starts the day you get married. Remember that dream job that you've been yearning for...well, the day you start your job is when it all starts...and you need to work pretty damn hard in order for you to keep your job and to make your career flourish.

So, do not be deceived by the 'freedom' that you have. There are no more choices than there's ever been. Just more opportunity to commit haraam (sorry! that's a fact) In the end, Allah SWT chooses your mate for you...you still end up with one person and you still have to work hard regardless...

How much I love...

My previous post is about how much I miss my life in England...
This post is about how much I love my new life in Malaysia...

I love waking up at the same time every morning to the call of sweet Adhan, how beautiful it is to wake up remembering that our life in this world is to worship Allah SWT.

KLCC Twin Towers

I love my journey to work, to view the amazing KLCC Twin Towers everyday, a postcard scenery. The cotton wool clouds above the hills and the sun rising from behind it. To look up into the sky sometimes and see an eagle gliding above.

I love having different jobs to do everyday, all my different roles...I'm a clinician, a teacher, a researcher, an administrator, a coordinator but best of all is having breakfast in the morning with my team members who are also my good friends.

My beautiful work place

I love seeing my patients who are ever so grateful to listen to my explanations, to hear me say 'you make me so happy cause your blood sugar is now controlled'. I know...sounds weird but that is the joys of being a doctor. To follow up someone from HbA1C of 10.0 and it goes down to 5.9, that really makes my day!

I love teaching my students and the look I get sometimes on their faces when I can see something had just made sense. They're not just absorbing or memorizing but something 'clicked' or a switch has been turned on. If I can make one person understand one thing or to spark a thought in someone...I feel that I have achieved something that day. 

I love sitting in my office, even though the air condition is freezing cold...listening to some music and doing my work, hiding inside my cave. It makes me feel like I'm back in England but reality hits me as soon as I leave the building and I'm greeted by the strong heat from the sun. 

I love spending weekends with my family, visiting relatives, attending weddings or going shopping. I've come to the conclusion that the Malaysian population census has been greatly underestimated. This is because no matter where I go, which ever shopping mall or supermarket or leisure centre, it doesn't matter if it is in Kuala Lumpur, Kota Bharu, Kuantan, Malacca or Johor bahru. It doesn't matter if it is Carrefour, Tesco, Jusco, KLCC Suria, Midvalley Mega Mall or Subang Parade...wherever I go, it is jammed packed with people. There's hardly any parking spaces and it just feels like the whole of Malaysia has followed me there.

Pulau Kapas, off Terengganu

I love going on holiday trips to visit the beautiful beaches on the East Coast of Malaysia and the Islands...white sandy beaches, big waves, strong cold wind...I just wish that the people would take more care to keep the beaches clean and to preserve its natural condition. Development is okay but we should never compromise cleanliness, safety and heritage for a miserly profit!

I love the fact that I can stop at any highway rest areas and there will be a 'surau' (prayer room) and the fact that there's hose pipes in the toilets...these little conveniences that make it easy for me to fulfill my needs as a Muslim.

I love that Maghrib is always around 7 - 7.30pm and I have a regular routine through out the whole year without having to get confused over prayer times and sleep cycle.

I love having breakfast at the Mamak shop, to have 'Tosai' and Teh tarik. To be able to go to almost any restaurant and it is halaal.

I love our beautiful home and all its amenities. To wake up in the morning listening to the birds singing.

There's so much to love...the food, the people, my family and friends...but it is so easy to get comfortable and complacent. So easy to forget to be  grateful to Allah SWT. To be aware of the suffering of the Muslim Ummah, to be concerned for their affairs, to remember them, to speak about them, to be their eyes, ears and voices, to sense their pain...

I do not want to be the part of the body that has been anaesthetised, that I can no longer feel the cut or pain inflicted upon the rest of the body. I am afraid to be complacent...to think that I can let my guard down... to think that I have Islam because I can hear the Adhan, see Masjid everywhere and wear hijab without the fear of discrimination. There is so much more about Islam that is not being fulfilled here...in society, in the rules and laws, in the system itself. I must never forget! I must never let my guard down and feel secure, because that in itself is a trap! Wherever I am....wherever I go...I must remember who I am, my duties and responsibilities towards Allah SWT, myself, my family, my community and the Ummah.

Home is where the heart is...

How much I miss...

Two years on and I still remember what it was like to live in England. How I miss England and this is why:


I miss the cold winter days...the freezing cold where everything looks gray. It is so cold that you feel like your fingers and toes are about to drop off. I miss walking down the street in my winter coat and a scarf wrapped around my neck. Folding up the arms and walking briskly to warm myself up. I miss the feeling of entering the front door into a warm house with the heating on. Kicking off the shoes, boiling the kettle and making myself a hot cup of tea. Snuggling under the warm thick duvet.

I miss the months of spring...lying on the grass in a green meadow, picking the daffodils, watching the children run around and play and some people walking their dogs. The sun shines brightly but a cool wind sending chills that penetrate the bones.

I miss the taste of sweet and sour strawberries and blueberries. The taste of plain chocolates and one pound ninety nine chocolate cheese cakes. I miss our Sunday breakfast at mom in law's house with smoke salmon and cream cheese on toast. She makes the best muesli with strawberries, mangoes, plums and sunflower seeds. I miss our little chats...

I miss visiting Pa and Jen, walking along the stone beach and listening to the soft gentle waves. I miss the look of joy on the childrens' faces as we reached in front of their door.

I miss hubby's roast beef with roast potatoes and parsnips :) I miss sitting in front of the TV watching 'X-factor' or Have I got news for you, Question time, Doctor who, BBC news or some funny movie on a Saturday night.

I miss my friends, my sisters, our talks and discussions. I miss the laughter we shared...like the one that tipped me into labour when I was pregnant with my son cause I was laughing so much. The night before Eid ul Fitri and we were waiting for the announcement whether it was Eid or not, laughing so much that we thought it had to be Eid the next day cause the Syaitan must have been released! I miss the weddings and the parties. I miss the peaceful demonstrations, our marches along Edgware Road chanting slogans against the tyrant rulers. I miss praying by the road side undeterred by watchful eyes knowing that nothing can harm me without Allah's permission, knowing that I bow only to the One who Created me.

I miss those funny moments with my patients, such as when I was examining a white, tall, muscly seven foot man with back pain. Trying to find the location of the pain and every time I pressed on the painful spot, he kept jumping and saying "Ah...yes Dr, that is where it hurts". I miss my wonderful receptionists who never fail to make me a cup of tea in the morning before my surgery starts.

I miss my Gold Ford Focus, my very first car.

I miss the cold nights when the children are in bed, and you can hear the pitter patter rain drops on the window, chatting with hubby late into the night, dipping rich tea buiscuits and sipping a hot cup of tea.

I have so many memories, sweet memories of friends, colleagues and family. I loved working at the hospital, walking along the corridors at night during on calls, getting 'bleeped' every few minutes, attending emergencies, putting cannula and i.v fluids, seeing patients in emergency department, such hilarious colleagues. I miss Mr Panda who once explained to a patient "pain is what you feel, tenderness is what I feel". I remembered traveling alone on a night train from Scotland after visiting Glasgow university during my A-level days and ended up playing scrabble with 2 Scotsmen!

I share treasure every sweet memory, every painful memory,  every person, every struggle I faced during my 17 years in England. I shall treasure the fact that it was in England during my second year at University was when I found Islam, in a tiny prayer room at King's College London. I met the most incredible person, a young petite Muslim girl who approached me and chatted to me. She invited me to listen to some talks which opened my mind to the world of Islam...to think and understand the world, to apply Islam onto reality.

It was in England that I studied Medicine and became a doctor and met some of the best consultants and colleagues, who were completely down to earth, intelligent, humble and supportive.

It was in England that I met my sisters... they were my family when I had no family around me. We spent Eid together and they even helped me organize my wedding and made it all come true.

It was in England that I met my husband and had all my children...the day I held my first born in my arms was the happiest day of my life. Nothing can ever take away that moment.

I miss you England...you will remain in my memory always.

View next --> how much I love

Believing in the ones who believe in you

Sometimes you started off thinking that you want to help someone and then, as things move along you realize that you're only making things worse. Then, you realize that you can't help anybody not unless they help themselves and when someone actually says that you've helped them, the only way that you have helped them is because they believe in it even though you're just doing what you normally do and being who you normally are or saying the things that you would normally say. Truth is you haven't done anything extraordinary, it is just the person has found something that inspired them or made them think or made them see things a different way.

Everyone has the capability to 'shine', to be whatever they want to be. Everyone can be good or they can be bad. It all depends on how they view themselves and the world whether positive or negative. It all depends on who they want to be and what they want to do. In the end, regardless of whatever happens to us, we have the choice of how we want to react and how we want things to happen. This is because we are in control of our actions, our choices in life.

Everyone has doubts about themselves and I certainly had doubts about myself when I started my internship but sometimes, you just meet the right person or the right team members that make you believe in yourself. No doubt you see something 'special' about the person but the person is a person with his/her flaws but anyone that makes you feel special and inspire you is worth remembering and worth believing in because they believe in you. I've met some great consultants and colleagues who have made me believe in myself and my ability as a doctor. Even though I may never see them again but I treasure their memories because I remembered how they made me feel about myself and how I appreciated their support.

As we mature through life, we need to hold on to memories and remember the good times, the happy times and to keep the people who mean something to us close. This is because we want to keep growing as a person, to open our hearts to more and more people rather than to shrink away. It really doesn't matter what people do, in the end it is what we do and what we are that is important for our future, to secure our place in Jannah cause that is the final destination. If we can truly focus on that goal with minimal distractions, we will realize that we can be more than what we are. We can be forgiving, we can be generous, we can give our trust, we can be concern, we can be brave, we can have courage to speak the truth and we can carry the burden of the da'wah.

لَا يُكَلِّفُ ٱللَّهُ نَفۡسًا إِلَّا وُسۡعَهَا‌ۚ لَهَا مَا كَسَبَتۡ وَعَلَيۡہَا مَا ٱكۡتَسَبَتۡ‌ۗ رَبَّنَا لَا تُؤَاخِذۡنَآ إِن نَّسِينَآ أَوۡ أَخۡطَأۡنَا‌ۚ رَبَّنَا وَلَا تَحۡمِلۡ عَلَيۡنَآ إِصۡرً۬ا كَمَا حَمَلۡتَهُ ۥ عَلَى ٱلَّذِينَ مِن قَبۡلِنَا‌ۚ رَبَّنَا وَلَا تُحَمِّلۡنَا مَا لَا طَاقَةَ لَنَا بِهِۦ‌ۖ وَٱعۡفُ عَنَّا وَٱغۡفِرۡ لَنَا وَٱرۡحَمۡنَآ‌ۚ أَنتَ مَوۡلَٮٰنَا فَٱنصُرۡنَا عَلَى ٱلۡقَوۡمِ ٱلۡڪَـٰفِرِينَ  

Allah does not burden anyone beyond his capacity. For him is what he has earned, and on him what he has incurred. “Our Lord, do not hold us accountable, if we forget or make a mistake, and, Our Lord, do not place on us such a burden as You have placed on those before us, and, Our Lord, do not make us bear a burden for which we have no strength. And pardon us, and grant us forgiveness, and have mercy on us. You are our Lord. So then help us against the disbelieving people. 

Al - Baqarah: 286

May Allah SWT give us the strength to go through the test of life.

Courage 3: children and courage

I am no expert but I don't think anyone is...especially when it comes to bringing up our own kids. Even though we have the Qur'an to guide us, a clear message of what is right and wrong but when it comes to understanding our kids, explaining to them, shape and mold them...sometimes we get things right and sometimes we get things wrong. We constantly learn from our mistakes and we try again a different way. All I know is this...children have more courage than we think!

Bringing out the courage in our children

1. Tell them it is okay to feel afraid

Franklin D Roosevelt said that "The only thing that we must fear is fear itself". 

In order to overcome the fear, we need to face the fear...

Facing the fear is a process of acknowledging fear, recognizing fear and knowing that it is okay to feel afraid. To feel afraid is not the problem but to let the fear restrict you or prevent you from moving forward, to achieving what you need to achieve that is the problem.

Courage is doing what you're afraid to do. There can be no courage unless you're scared. - Eddie Rickenbecker. 

Ever watched those movies of some psychological thriller where the mom tells the child something like 'I know you're afraid, so am I but you have to be brave and we're going to get through this together'... yeah sounds cheesy but it works. When your child is afraid, tell him or her it is okay but they can overcome that fear by being brave, by having the courage.

2. Make them face their fears

In the olden days this is called 'tough love'. The method of tough love is a tool used only by tough parents who love their children but is able to put that love aside in order to see the child succeed in the future. Tough love is not about hitting, abusing, shouting or embarrassing the child... it is not about depriving the child of their most important things in life such as love, nourishment, knowledge and education but tough love is about making the child face their fears...

Human beings are most afraid to face up to their own mistakes, their own short comings. If your child has done something wrong, the best thing you can ever do for that child is to make him/her face her mistakes e.g. if he broke grandma's favorite vase, get him to clean up the mess and apologize to grandma ready to face whatever punishment grandma has in store. Grandma may say, 'it is okay dear, I forgive you' or Grandma may say 'you will have to spend a week scrubbing the floor' and in which case, let him scrub the floor for a week.

Facing our fears is a sign of maturity, it builds our ability to self-reflect and face consequences in life. Islam teaches us to face our fears, to self reflect, to face up to our mistakes, to apologize to those whom we have wronged and to repent to Allah SWT. People who have not been brought up to face their fears, admit to their mistakes will often be those who are quick to blame others for their own faults or to shun away when things get tough.

3. Help them to face the difficulties in life and show them ways to overcome them.

Facing hardship is part of life. Life is full of hardship especially for the believers because we have been warned that this life is a test, not a place for play and amusement. This world has been described as a prison for the believers because the true reward is in paradise so, teach our children to face hardship, help them to face the difficulties in life, do not shield them from the hardships of life but show them ways to overcome them, to deal with them, to succeed and to shine.

“Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate. Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure. It is our light, not our darkness, that most frightens us. You playing small does not serve the world. There is nothing enlightened about shrinking so that other people won’t feel insecure around you. We are all meant to shine as children do. It’s not just in some of us; it is in everyone. And as we let our own lights shine, we unconsciously give other people permission to do the same. As we are liberated from our own fear, our presence automatically liberates others”. 

– Coach Carter, staring Samuel L Jackson. 

4. Praise them when they show bravery.

Anything that a child does that requires for him/her to overcome his/her fear is something brave, so praise him. A child may not want to go to school because of fear, so make them face their fear and when they come home, praise them and tell them how brave they are for going to school e.g.

A young child of 4 years old cried because he didn't want to go to nursery in the morning. This was only his 2nd day. The mother made him go to nursery and when the mother picked him up later in the afternoon, she bought him a sweetie and said "you were so brave to go to nursery today. You didn't want to and you were afraid but you went anyway and that was very brave. I'm so proud of you." She gave him a kiss and he sucks on the sweet happily. 

Use positive associations. Children thrive on positive associations. The Prophet SAW was beautiful in the way he taught children about Islam. He used to say to Abdullah ibn Umar "I love you, go and pray two rakaat sunnah"

5. Leading by example

There is no dispute that children learn more from observing us than from what we say to them. If we show courage, they too will show courage but if we show cowardice, they too will show cowardice. If we have a phobia of spiders and screams every time we see those creepy crawlies, chances are they too will have a negative feeling towards them. 

6. Tell them stories of courage and the brave

Read to them stories of courage and bravery preferably of the Prophets and his companions. Encourage them to read stories that have good moral values, autobiographies of people who have achieved extraordinary things or fictional books that contains characters with courage. 

Remember those Hollywood movies, if they're going to watch them then at least get some good out of it, talk to them about how brave Harry Potter was for facing his arch nemesis. Don't just make it into a pure entertainment but let your child pick up on the good characteristics in the movie and to identify the bad characteristics in the movie.

7. Teach them to fear nothing but Allah SWT

I was with my 4 year old son and we started talking about Allah. Then, he said "but we are scared of Allah". He remembered a time when we were in the car and there was thunder and lightning. He was scared and I told him that Allah SWT made the thunder and lightning so, Allah is more powerful. He associated it as being we should be scared of Allah so, I said "Yes, we are scared of Allah but only because we love him and we are scared to do something that He doesn't like such as not listening to mummy and daddy or hitting your sister."

Before our children go to sleep, we are encouraged to read to them surah An Nas, Al Ikhlas and Al Falaq as well as Ayatul Kursi. Remind our children the meanings of these surah such as when we read

وَسِعَ كُرۡسِيُّهُ ٱلسَّمَـٰوَٲتِ وَٱلۡأَرۡضَ‌ۖ وَلَا يَـُٔودُهُ ۥ حِفۡظُهُمَا‌ۚ وَهُوَ ٱلۡعَلِىُّ ٱلۡعَظِيمُ

We should remind our children that Allah's throne covers all of the heavens and the earth; and so He is All Powerful and we should not fear anything but Allah SWT.

We should only be afraid of the punishment of Allah SWT and if He is not happy with us as the Prophet Muhammad SAW said after this painful encounter with the people of Taif...

اللهم إليك أشكو ضعف قوتي وقلة حيلتي وهواني على الناس
ياأرحم الراحمين أنت أرحم الراحمين
 أنت رب المستضعفين وأنت ربي
إلى من تكلني إلى عدو يتجهمني أم إلى صديق مكلته إمري
إن لم يكن بك غضب علي فلا أبالي ولكن عافيتك هي أوسع لي
أعوذ بنور وجهك الذي أضاءت له السموات و الأرض
 وأشرقت له الظلمات وصلح عليه أمر الدنيا والأخره
 أن ينزل بي غضبك أو يحل علي سخطك
لك العتبى حتى ترضى ولاحول ولاقوة إلابك

---

English translation and the essence
of the Arabic supplication of the Prophet

Oh, Allah, I appeal to you for the weakness in my strength,
and my limited power,
and the treatment of contempt and humiliation from people.
To you, the most Merciful of all the Merciful ones,
you are the Lord of the oppressed, and you are my Lord

Under whose care are you leaving me to?
To an enemy oppressing me?
Or to a friend you have given control of my affair?
If there is no anger from you on me I will forever be content.
However, your blessing is vastly important for me

I seek refuge with the glory of your light,
which the heavens and earth are lit form,
your anger will not befall on me,
nor your displeasure descends on me

To you is the supplication until you are pleased,
and there is no control or power except by you

As I said at the beginning of this blog article, I am no expect. This is just something I would like to share and discuss with my friends and anyone who wants to read it...

Courage (2): to speak the truth

Courage to face the enemy and to speak the truth

إِنَّمَا ذَٲلِكُمُ ٱلشَّيۡطَـٰنُ يُخَوِّفُ أَوۡلِيَآءَهُ ۥ فَلَا تَخَافُوهُمۡ وَخَافُونِ إِن كُنتُم مُّؤۡمِنِينَ (١٧٥) وَلَا يَحۡزُنكَ ٱلَّذِينَ يُسَـٰرِعُونَ فِى ٱلۡكُفۡرِ‌ۚ إِنَّهُمۡ لَن يَضُرُّواْ ٱللَّهَ شَيۡـًٔ۬ا‌ۗ يُرِيدُ ٱللَّهُ أَلَّا يَجۡعَلَ لَهُمۡ حَظًّ۬ا فِى ٱلۡأَخِرَةِ‌ۖ وَلَهُمۡ عَذَابٌ عَظِيمٌ 

Allah SWT says in surah 3: 175-176 "It is none but Satan who frightens (you) of his friends. So, do not fear them; but fear Me, if you are believers. Those who hasten towards disbelief should not make you grieve. They cannot harm Allah at all. Allah intends not to spare for them any share in the Hereafter. For them there is a mighty punishment.

The world of men is more frightening than any creatures of the unseen. War, torture, rape, killing of the innocent, mass murder, nuclear bombs and white phosphorus bullets are more devastating and destructive than the harm committed by evil spirits.

The world today is dominated by the Capitalist system that puts profit and economic value above any other value. The present superpower, US has created itself as the icon of power and invincibility, instilling fear across the globe with their military presence. They use guns, jet fighters, drones and tanks to force weaker nations into submission. 

For years, the western powers have planted puppet leaders all over the Muslim world, leaders who would fulfill the bidding of their masters and betray the rights and honour of their own people. These western backed dictators have ruled the lands with an iron fist, using the military and security personals against their own people. These leaders would sacrifice the lives of millions all for their own selfish gains. They abuse and torture the people to make them conform and to keep silent.

Tahrir Square, Egypt 2011

However, the people in these lands have shown courage and bravery. They stood up peacefully, without guns, without tanks, with nothing but the word of truth to speak against the tyrant ruler. Let me reassure you, if you did not believe me before that the ordinary people in Egypt who demonstrated in Tahrir Square, the people in Tunisia, the people in Syria have shown the world the true meaning of courage. Bravery and courage is to stand up for what is right, in the face of fear and hostility. 

Prophet Muhammad (saw) said

"The master of martyrs (sayyid al-shuhada) is Hamza, and a man who stands up to a tyrant ruler and gives him nasiha (advice). And so the ruler kills him" 

The Prophet (SAW) continued to say : 'By Allah you have to enjoin good (Maroof) and forbid evil (Munkar), and hold against the hand of the unjust ruler (Zalim), and force him on the truth strongly, or you have to limit him to the truth'

There is courage in working to change the corrupt man-made system that has plagued the world. We live in a system that feeds on the blood and sweat of ordinary people as the rich get richer and the poor get poorer. This requires courage to stand up for the truth, to go against the flow of the current and it requires perseverance. This is because the struggle is not a physical entity but the struggle is against an idea...a mentality that has spread its tentacle like an odourless poisonous gas, its poison affecting every person inhaling it and the person is corrupted without even realising. This work requires awareness and the struggle to wake others into awareness. It takes courage, it takes perseverance and it takes time...and far more pertinent, it takes a strong belief in Allah SWT that He will give us the victory. 

The courage in our men

We believe in our men, whoever you are, wherever you are and no matter what you do or do not, however good or bad you are ... we believe that as long as you have Iman, you believe in Allah SWT, one day when the time comes, and when the Khilafah (Islamic state) is re-established and when the Khalif will rise up and call you, you will answer him because...

Allah SWT says in surah al Anfal (spoils of war) : 24

يَـٰٓأَيُّہَا ٱلَّذِينَ ءَامَنُواْ ٱسۡتَجِيبُواْ لِلَّهِ وَلِلرَّسُولِ إِذَا دَعَاكُمۡ لِمَا يُحۡيِيڪُمۡ

O you who believe, respond to Allah and the Messenger when He calls you to what gives you life,

We belief that you will have the courage to protect us, to liberate the innocent men, women and children who are imprisoned, to liberate the people from the clutches of oppression, to liberate humanity from this plague of Capitalism and to bring truth and justice to the world. You will be like Umar bin Al Khattab when he entered Jerusalem in his tattered clothes, and the people saw him and cried due to his humbleness, courage and strength. He entered Jerusalem not as an occupier but as a liberator. We believe that is what you will be.

وَمَا لَكُمۡ لَا تُقَـٰتِلُونَ فِى سَبِيلِ ٱللَّهِ وَٱلۡمُسۡتَضۡعَفِينَ مِنَ ٱلرِّجَالِ وَٱلنِّسَآءِ وَٱلۡوِلۡدَٲنِ ٱلَّذِينَ يَقُولُونَ رَبَّنَآ أَخۡرِجۡنَا مِنۡ هَـٰذِهِ ٱلۡقَرۡيَةِ ٱلظَّالِمِ أَهۡلُهَا وَٱجۡعَل لَّنَا مِن لَّدُنكَ وَلِيًّ۬ا وَٱجۡعَل لَّنَا مِن لَّدُنكَ نَصِيرًا (٧٥)  
What has happened to you that you do not fight in the way of Allah, and for the oppressed among men, women and children who say, “Our Lord, take us out from this town whose people are cruel, and make for us a supporter from Your own, and make for us a helper from Your own. " An Nisa: 75

Courage is the one who stands for the truth.
Courage is the one who fights for the oppressed to bring back the justice system of Islam.
Courage is the one who humbles himself to the ordinary people but speaks out against the powerful oppressors and dictators.
Courage is the leader who is at the forefront of the battle in protecting the people. 
Courage is the one who faces his fears and overcomes them.

Lord of the rings. The return of the king. Aragorn.

Aragorn: I see in your eyes the same fear that would take the heart of me. A day may come when the courage of men fails, when we forsake our friends and break all bonds of fellowship, but it is not this day. An hour of woes and shattered shields, when the age of men comes crashing down! But it is not this day! This day we fight! By all that you hold dear on this good Earth.

There are lessons to be learned from movies but only if we have the correct viewpoint in life, a view that has been shaped and molded by Islam.

NEXT: Children and courage

Courage (1)

The most appealing thing about Hollywood movies is its ability to get the audience involved in the story, to get completely absorbed into the plots and characters, to feel how the characters feel and to sometimes even become the character.

Many Muslim parents sense a dilemma in allowing their children to watch these movies even the cartoons or childrens' fiction such as Harry Potter. No doubt even the most ‘innocent’ of movies will have subliminal messages, inappropriate romance, contradictions to our Islamic culture and values. However, there could potentially be positive lessons to be learned.

Human beings maybe easily influenced especially at a tender age but only if they are uninformed, only if we never taught them to critically evaluate the things they watch and the information that they receive. If we give them the correct information, values and ideas from our Islamic Aqeedah then InshaAllah they will be able to reject the contradictions and to emulate the positive aspects portrayed.

A positive message that stands out in these children’s movies is courage and bravery. 

Courage is defined in the online Oxford dictionary as the ability to do something that frightens one or strength in the face of pain or grief. 

Courage manifest itself when a person is able to overcome his/her fears and faces the thing that frightens them. It is the ability to get past this emotion and to face the challenges ahead.

Hermione: You'd be okay Harry. You are a great wizard
Harry: Not as good as you.
Hermione: Me? Books and cleverness....there are more important things like friendship and bravery.
(Harry potter and the philosopher stone)

Allah SWT says in the Qur’an surah 3: 160

إِن يَنصُرۡكُمُ ٱللَّهُ فَلَا غَالِبَ لَكُمۡ‌ۖ وَإِن يَخۡذُلۡكُمۡ فَمَن ذَا ٱلَّذِى يَنصُرُكُم مِّنۢ بَعۡدِهِۦ‌ۗ وَعَلَى ٱللَّهِ  

فَلۡيَتَوَكَّلِ ٱلۡمُؤۡمِنُونَ

If Allah is your helper none can overcome you, and if He withdraw His help from you, who is there who can help you after Him? In Allah let believers put their trust.

The Qur’an teaches the Muslims to have no fear. This courage and bravery comes from our believe  in Allah SWT and that nothing bad can ever happen to us without His permission. A Muslim relies on Allah SWT alone and we do not fear anything but Him.

We do not fear the created unseen (ghaib)

There are many things that are ghaib in this world. Allah SWT informs of the world of the unseen such as the Jinn, angels, Jannah and Jahannam. Malay movies are often plagued by fear of ghosts, hantu, jembalang and all kinds of scary creatures. In the movies, they promote all forms of ‘ilmu pati-geni’ and sihir. However, do we cultivate the attribute of courage and bravery? Do we get the characters to show strength of Iman in believing that these things cannot harm us without the permission of Allah? Do we encourage the audience to truly seek protection from Allah SWT against these khurafat? Do we highlight the fact that All Knowledge, All Power belongs to Allah SWT alone and that these things do not have any Power except that which Allah SWT has permitted for them?

What about sihir (black magic)? 

Surah al Baqarah: Harut and Marut (2:102)

And follow that which the devils falsely related against the kingdom of Solomon. Solomon disbelieved not; but the devils disbelieved, teaching mankind magic and that which was revealed to the two angels in Babel, Harut and Marut. Nor did they (the two angels) teach it to anyone till they had said: We are only a temptation, therefore disbelieve not (in the guidance of Allah). And from these two (angles) people learn that by which they cause division between man and wife; but they injure thereby no-one save by Allah's leave. And they learn that which harmeth them and profiteth them not. And surely they do know that he who trafficketh therein will have no (happy) portion in the Hereafter; and surely evil is the price for which they sell their souls, if they but knew. 

Allah SWT allows the existence of sihir as a test for those who choose to learn it, perform it and use it. Harut and Marut were sent as a test to the people of Babylon, offering to teach them this knowledge but it came with a warning. This 'magic' would cause the separation between man and wife and those who choose to learn from it were sinful. They will not harm anyone with it except those whom Allah allows. Hence, the test is for those who choose to learn and perform such magic.

Allah SWT warns us that Syaitan are ever so willing to mislead mankind and will use any form of vice such as alcohol, drugs, sexual relationships and whatever they can including black magic to tempt mankind into faltering and falling astray.

قَالَ فَبِمَآ أَغۡوَيۡتَنِى لَأَقۡعُدَنَّ لَهُمۡ صِرَٲطَكَ ٱلۡمُسۡتَقِيمَ (١٦) ثُمَّ لَأَتِيَنَّهُم مِّنۢ بَيۡنِ أَيۡدِيہِمۡ وَمِنۡ خَلۡفِهِمۡ وَعَنۡ أَيۡمَـٰنِہِمۡ وَعَن شَمَآٮِٕلِهِمۡ‌ۖ وَلَا تَجِدُ أَكۡثَرَهُمۡ شَـٰكِرِينَ (١٧) Surah al A'raf

He said, “Now that You have led me astray, I will certainly sit for them (in ambush) on Your straight path. (16) Then I will come upon them from their front side and from their behind, and from their right and from their left. You will not find most of them grateful. (17) 

Surah An Nisa':119 "(Syaitan said) And I will lead them astray and I will tempt them with false desires..."

However, this does not mean that we should not protect ourselves as no one is immune to temptation. We need to constantly remember Allah SWT, recite Qur'an and make dua to Him to protect us from these things. However, we should not fear the unseen but rather we should fear our own accountability and actions.

The only aspect of the unseen that we ought to fear is the fear of Jahannam. Jahannam is the fire whose fuel are men and stones. Everything else is the creation of Allah SWT whose purpose in life is to distract us from the worship of Allah, to distract us from being obedient to Allah. No doubt they have been given the ‘power’ to seduce, to enhance our feelings of desire, fear and negative emotions, to whisper to us, encourage us to enter Jahannam alongside them but that is the test that we have to face. To face such test, we must have courage and bravery.

NEXT: courage to face the enemy and to speak the truth.

2011 into 2012: Looking back and visualising the future

2011 has been a turbulent year, indeed for the world and for this helpless soul. In February 2011 during my return to the UK for personal matters, the world was greeted by the 'wave of change' that was sweeping the Arab world starting with the fall of President Ben Ali of Tunisia and followed by the large scale demonstration in Tahrir Square, Egypt.

At the time, Muslims were hopeful to see the return of the Khilafah but unfortunately, the fall of the Mubarak regime was replaced by quasi-democracy and the struggle for freedom and Islam in the Arab world continues ...into the year 2012.

Change in the Muslim World

The world economy has not been predicted to recover, still riding on a roller-coaster. Inflation has shot up by more than 50% from the time I went back to the UK in February to the recent return of my other half. The economic recovery is slow and US/Europe are still struggling to get their economy to stabilize.

The Telegraph: predictions for economy 2012

In Malaysia however, good news for some but not for others as the government announce a new pay scheme for government employees, raising the basic salary for others up to half or a quarter fold but has caused a stir to the injustice of a few grades who tend to lose out. There are also fears that this will lead to inflation thus, affecting private sector workers and self-employed individuals.

This move is in no doubt related to the impending elections which is argued to be an act in favour or not in favour of the present government depending on who you are and which salary grade you are in. So, lots of issues to ponder about and to satisfy the inquisitive mind.

As for me, life started early in the year almost like watching 'Lost in Translation' as I struggle to adjust to this new dull, monotonous, brain dead, no sense of real purpose or direction kind of movie which turned half way through the year into a car chasing scene from 'The Bourne Identity' and towards the end of year evolved into 'Nightmare on Elmstreet' or some kind of psychological thriller and finally settled into something like the ending of 'Ombak Rindu' with some real moral and ethical message in the end, plenty of good lessons to be learned and maybe with a twinge of Adam Sandler's comedy movie to just complete the whole theater experience. this is because sometimes things that happen in Malaysia can be so serious and profound but at the same time ridiculous and ironically funny. I really don't know how to explain it in a better way...

So, what are we to look forward to in 2012?

Well, there's the Olympics in London which I am glad to say I am not there to experience it. I don't need any 'super powers' to predict the added security, overspending, criticisms and complaints by many different parties on how the Tory government is mishandling the whole situation and of course, there will be some scare mongering of some 'fundamentalist' Muslims who will try to mess all the fun by some bomb-plot. How do I know this? Well...I don't but sometimes when you keep watching the same sort of  movie, you can almost predict what is going to happen next.

There is the unraveling of the political change sweeping the Arab world. We will watch with hope and great interest to see the Muslim ummah grow and develop in their mentality, thinking and culture; to make that choice to either choose the man-made system of democracy or the system of Allah SWT, the Khilafah.

Finally, there is of course the prophecy of armageddon 2012. I really have no idea who predicted this or started this chinese whispers but it has been spread from mouth to mouth, and on You Tube. For Muslims, it should be clear to us that the knowledge of the hour is with Allah SWT alone. We just need to be ready for it at all times by obeying Him and fulfilling our duties and responsibilities.

“They ask you about the (final) Hour - when will be its appointed time? Say: ‘The knowledge thereof is with my Lord (alone): None but He can reveal as to when it will occur. Heavy were its burden through the heavens and the earth. Only, all of a sudden will it come to you.’ They ask you as if you were eager in search thereof: Say: ‘The knowledge thereof is with Allah (alone), but most men know not.’” (The Noble Quran, 7:187)

So, 2012 what do I hope from you?

I have so many resolutions and plans and overwhelmed by work deadlines already. There's gonna be stress, love, laughter and sadness... there's gonna be hope and everything that life has to offer but in the end, there's only one purpose... to worship the One who creates and controls everything.